Well done, congratulations :-) xxx

Hi,

I'm in a bit of a different position from you so I'm not sure that this would really count as 'experience' relevant to yourself but at the moment I'm a self funded student who works part time (I have managed to secure funding from my Uni for the rest of my PhD which will kick in soon so I have made the decision to no longer work part time). While there are definite benefits to work (in my case, of course, I had to otherwise I'd have no money, it also gave me a bit of a 'break' from the PhD at times and I enjoy what I do and will be sad to leave) I do feel the PhD should be treated like a full time job. I'm lucky in that my work was fairly flexible but I still find it extremely demanding - knowing that I will have funding soon, I have actually cut back quite substantially on my part time work recently and just been really careful with money. I'd find I'd be exhausted - both physically and mentally - after work and have difficulty concentrating on the PhD. Some days I'd work all day and by the time I got home I'd just want to go to sleep but I'd know I had loads of PhD stuff to do. Even working half a day I'd get pretty tired. It also got in the way of PhD related things occasionally as well. I currently spend most of my weekends in the office, making up for the time I've spent in my part time job. So, my personal advice would be, while I coped fine working part time throughout my undergraduate and masters degree, if you don't actually have to work, then don't!

However, having said that, as I have mentioned there are some positive aspects to part time work and yours sounds like a good opportunity. Everyone's different of course (I have some difficulties of my own which have made it hard for me to concentrate at times and I'm sure I'll probably spend some weekends in the office even when I don't have a part time job simply because it's quieter and easier for me to concentrate, plus next term I'll have more teaching duties within the department). So, of course, the decision is yours, although I'm not sure what the regulations are but I definitely would not reccommend lying about it. As has been mentioned, that could get you into trouble. Why not ask the Uni about working restrictions and see what they say?

I hope this has helped. I appreciate I'm not in the same position as you and I'm afraid I am not knowledgeable about funding working restrictions, I just thought I had a personal experience of combining part time work with full time study. I'd say it can be done if you have to... but if you don't have to, don't bother.

Thanks so much for all your helpful comments, it means so much and is really appreciated. I actually had a really good meeting with my supervisor a few days ago, who said she's really happy with the progress that I have made so far. I just think I should really stick at this, like you've said, they've given me funding thus they find me capable. Yes, it may be difficult at times but PhD's aren't designed to be easy! It can also be intellectually stimulating, rewarding when things go 'right' and a good challenge!

Thank you both so much for your replies, they are much appreciated :-) I've definitely decided to stay on and do the PhD as this is what I want. I am fully prepared to put the effort in, it's just I feel like I hardly have any time for anything else - I frequently work seven days a week and sometimes work eleven hour days. Is this normal for a first year student? Even though they don't seem to work as hard as I do, I still don't feel like I've made as much progress as the other first years (and obviously I'm right because my supervisor is concerned too). Part of me is happy because I love this Uni, I've made some good friends, I'm interested in my research. But part of me feels worried that I don't know enough about my subject area and, despite working so hard, I'm not 'getting anywhere'. I know they gave me the funding, thus obviously think I'm capable but people have made mistakes about my capabilities before. I would feel so guilty if I drop out after my funding kicks in (or cannot submit a thesis that is good enough) and some other potential candidate loses that money. Plus I'd feel like I'd let people down. That being said, having made the decision to stay I need to stick to that now, rather than spending the next 3/4 years worrying about whether I should stay or go because that won't do me any good... Thanks again for your replies.

I've been thinking of giving up to but mostly due to me doubting my own abilities to do the PhD and how frustrated I feel spending my whole time working and not having enough time to do anything else rather than due to a complete lack of enjoyment. I'm sorry you don't get on well with your supervisor, reading through your post I agree that it sounds like you've made up your mind on this to give up (whereas with me, I've decided to carry on with it). I think if you are desperately unhappy doing the PhD and feel you'd be a lot happier elsewhere maybe you should give it up. Have you always felt like this or are there certain times when you're happier than others with what you're doing?

Hi Heidi,

We've never 'spoken' before but I've been following your 'story' since your first post - I've only just joined here but I've been browsing (and nosing!) other posts for months now! I just want to say, I think you've done really well, with all the negative things that have happened to you recently and managing to juggle being a mum and doing a PhD at the same time. I'm glad things seem to be better for you now and I wish you luck.

I do apologise, as I am one of the people to have moaned about the negative aspects of a PhD recently (in my thread 'Can I do this?') Although there are some negatives to the PhD, there are positives as well (otherwise, I wouldn't be asking 'can I do this?' but I would have left by now!) For me, some of the positives are being in a place and studying at a Uni which I like, being in an office full of people I like, being given the one in a lifetime opportunity to pursue my own research and, in doing so, potentially make a contribution and difference to people. There's a lot of flexibility in a PhD (at least that's how it seems at the moment, I'm only five months into my program). This can be both a positive (you have control over your own research and time and can set your own agenda and own pace) and negative (there's such little structure, sometimes you feel like you don't quite know what you're doing, nobody tells you exactly what to do, you work long hours but still feeling that nothing is getting done). At least, that's how things are for me. Congratulations on starting your PhD in the next few months.

sorry, see my previous message, I'd reached the limit on the word count!

Continuing my previous post ...

to track my progress or something and she just said 'to be honest, I don't know in your case'. I asked if she'd comment on my progress that I'd been behind and she said she'd say she's been concerned this term but that I've had some issues I've disclosed to her. That's only fair, I suppose, she'd be lying if she didn't say that.

I'm really glad she was truthful about that and if the PhD 'isn't for me' then I'd rather they said now than three/four years down the line when it comes to my viva! But I'm torn as to whether I am capable of this and just need to get a move on with this or if, because of my hidden disabilities I'm just not going to be able to do it. In fact, it could even be the case that the hidden disabilities are irrelevant and, like most people, I'm just not capable of doing a PhD. How can you be fully sure that you're capable??? So now, part of me feels happy to be doing something I am overall enjoying within an environment I like but part of me feels worried. I have a big feeling that I've let not only myself and my family down but also my supervisor as well by getting behind with things... I don't want to put strain on her or be a burden and none of her other PhD students seem to need this support. I reckon I work 60+ hours a week on my PhD, sometimes spending 12 hours a day in the office but I'm still slower than other people.

Does anyone have any advice/suggestions/comments. Thanks in advance.

Hi all,

This is my first post here (I only joined a couple of days ago), though I have been nosing through others posts for quite some time now. I don't want to give too much detail about my current situation in case any PhD student who actually knows me visits this site and realises who I am (I'm a private person). For that reason, I may well end up having this post deleted in a few weeks time, once I have hopefully had a few replies to it.

I am currently five months into my PhD (I started at an unusual time, in January). I started the programme as a full time self funded student, which I found difficult for various reasons. There were the obvious worries about money and I have had to work part time. Although I actually really like my part time job it can be hard to juggle work and study. I also found that people can be very snobbish about self funding and never really felt like I quite 'fitted in' as most other students had funding. It also made me worried about my actual ability to complete the PhD, as, unlike most other students who have had their funding body tell them they 'believed in them' I'd never had this. Anyway, in April, I managed to secure funding for the rest of my PhD (tuition fees paid and annual stipend). It felt amazing and like maybe I could 'do it' after all and all I needed was a bit more confidence in my ability.

However... there have been various issues with my research progress. Admittedly, not all of these have been my fault. However, I have a hidden disability and also have some anxiety issues (e.g. agoraphobia a little bit) and worries that I've had pretty much my whole life but I don't like to speak about them. I really struggled at school and now I am at Uni I am just in awe of everyone and everything here. I had a supervisor meeting a few months ago where I got the impression she was concerned with my overall progress. This scared me because at the beginning when I was worried I wasn't doing enough she'd always say I was doing fine so I thought maybe I was okay. And then, just two months ago, when I managed to get funding she seemed thrilled. I just couldn't face telling her about my 'issues' in person so sent her a really long email about them and even said that I had been considering quitting my PhD. She sent me back a really nice email, including that she'd thought at times I hadn't understood some of the methodological or theoretical issues of the research, which are fundamental in formulating a successful PhD program. We are now meeting weekly and I've told her I want to continue with my PhD. She's really lovely and I know she likes me as a person (and I like her as a person) but I feel like she's giving up on my now she knows the truth about my difficulties and she doesn't think I'm capable of doing this and secretly wants me to leave before my funding starts. At our last meeting, I asked her if she thought I'd be be able to get through to the second year of my PhD or if they might have