A while ago i went for interview at a local college, just to get some teaching experience at HE level! I didnt get job but was put on supply list! I just had phone call asking if i would like to work for them thursdays and Fridays for the next ten weeks on one of their courses (lecturer left suddenly). Its full time hours those two days, and one day working wtih another lecturer and the other on my own taking classes! (not directly my field, but still lecturing in biology!)

Anyway, I accepted as I felt as it was my first offer I didnt want to turn it down and put them off me! (and my money runs out this month!).

Ok, so they want me to start next week if possible but would understand if couldn't til following, i'm meeting her tomorrow to go through curriculum and need to let her know then! I have a few applications in for post-docs also which i'm waiting to hear from (knowing they requested references), and one as an education officer for local science centre, which i'm also VERY interested in! I'm not sure when I will find out the latter but I know their initial interviews are NEXT thursday!

Basically I just don't know what to do! I'm sure it would be very cheeky to phone science centre and tell them i've been asked to cover a job for that day the interview is on and wondered if they had any idea about me....surely they want to see that knowing what day its on i am fully committed to that and nothing else! and also having said i'll do this lecturing post what if I get ANY job in next month or two, what do i do!

have so much on with trying to write up by dec/jan, finish off some lab stuff, now do this, best friend getting married in november, and also had some other odd commitments over next ten weeks - all seeming to be thursdays and fridays typically! mainly courses for teaching/learning and science communication which are all relevant to either science centre jobs or lecturing posts!

Any ideas on how to handle this? I just dont want to discuss with either potential employers in case i come off disinterested in either post, or at least not fully committed to them!?! and don't want to burn bridges with full time posts by taking on this part time in teh short term!!! (maybe it would help if i had proper idea of what i really wanted to do in life!!!)

Sorry if this is babbly, i'm streeeeessssssssssssseeeeeddddddd!!!!
better get on with writing as i've now got even less time to work!

think i'll get some chocolate first.....

Cheers

Congratulations Bilbo on getting your references and acknowledgments done!! I did the same last week and went through all my references!! takes ages but like you say has to be done, and its better than avoiding the thesis completely and watching telly ;)

i've not managed to get anywhere near as much done this week as planned and am living in daylight hours! been in the lab trying to organise some last experiments my second supervisor is pushing me to do! i just hope they yield some interesting results otherwise it'll have put me another month or so back!!!!

away this afternoon getting fitted for bridesmaid dress!!! and then hopefully home to fill the two LAST gaps in my intro!!! really want this draft complete by sunday, to give to my boss!!

hope your last gaps get filled in soon, you're doing ace! (up)

haha, sorry but i think i'll stick to where i am :p

luckily the wind has calmed down where i am, hope you've had more peaceful nights too?

Hey Walkminskipeas,
I know all about howling wind! :) I live right next to the sea in an old attic conversion - thought the roof was gonna come off last night! Hoping for a much better sleep tonight, and therefore more productive day tomorrow - although at least managed to fill 3 gaps in my intro today and finish boss's corrections! Feel it is therefore time for bed! but i hope you get your focus soon so you can go sleep too, and that the wind calms down over your way!

That's a very good question, and one i really need to consider in detail, as going to have lots of interviews coming up soon (hopefully), and thats always an evil question! I'll be 36 and hopefully will by then, if economics allow, have afforded a nice house at last, and maybe a kid or two ;)! However, to be honest i'm not sure I see myself still in research, although you never know! slowly trying to move my career into public engagement and science communication - so ideally I would be in that sector having lots of fun with mad science workshops!!! but depending on the job interview, i guess i better think about tailoring my answer to that sector...!?

I certainly hope i'll be finished my PhD by then.....although right now it seems never ending!
right, sleeeeeeppppp (sorry, tired and slightly mental....) (up)

What a situation, i really feel for you! :(

Same thought as Eska, surely for councelling or extracurricular help you can get onto campus, and whats the likely hood of anyone seeing you thats likely to know you're off sick? (its not like you'll be heading to the union for a pissup ;) )

also, could you phone student services or something and speak to them about it, there must be some independent body in teh uni you could contact to discuss this with?

Or yes, like Eska said, over the phone, which if they could phone you would prevent spending money on phone bills?

Keep coming on here and chatting too, there's always someone around to give advice, support or just a smile and know that you're not alone in this lonely PhD planet!

have a KT hug from me, I think friends usually find them rejuvenating, so i'll pass one to you through cybr space! ;)

heehee, i think my post was so long it cut teh end off!!

This was my last wee paragraph:

Also, this is a great forum to talk through every day issues and getting motivated to write! maybe try the on-going forums for productivity etc, I know many of us use it to tell everyone what our plan is for the day/week and then can go back to and say you've done it! even if it is just reading a paper or writing one paragraph, little progress a day is better than none. And having this support network is fantastic!

right, this is pretty long so good luck and let us know how you get on!

best of luck
KT :p

Hi Mlis, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this, depression is a horrible thing, and unfortunately some docs, and even councellors I think just don't understand, one of those have to have been there things possibly!

Like others have said, change councellor, no-one should say to you just pull yourself together thats not how it works, and often just makes you more depressed because you simply cant!!

I've had depression through the years, and I know how it affects productivity. I went to my university councellor and she was the best thing to help me, I still even email her occasionally if I just need a push and don't feel the need for a full session, and she's always helpful and caring. Also, they are not just there to help with uni related issues which i think alot of people perceive them to be there for! My mum abandoned our family afew years ago and having been one my best friends and a brilliant mum I just couldnt go on! I like you, couldnt get out of bed for days, thought I might aswell end life if i couldnt have her in it,and just didnt know how my life could be without her there. the uni councellor was fantastic and just listened to me talk and cry for an hour a week, or twice weekly at the start and eventually my life started taking shape again!

I'm very lucky in that I found my partner who was very understanding and caring and I've seen how wonderful my life can be - and actually much better without someone who can ruin my life and clearly not care enough about me to hurt me the way she did! From what you've said, this man basically ruined your life as you knew it, and left you feeling like there was no point in life without him, however someone who can hurt you in that way is clearly not worth it and didnt love you the way you loved/love him!

I know there are no quick fixes but getting up and dressed, putting make up on, is a fantastic start! well done :) apart from walking the dog have you tried any other exercise? i know its something you hear all the time for motivation and stress/depression but it really does make a difference, I'm no health freak and struggle to exercise lots, however i do try and go swimming sometimes and have just started going to a tai chi class which isnt very strenuous but calms you down tremendously, fixes your mind on something else for an hour or two and improves energy levels etc (or yoga etc!).

on the issue of medication vs therapy, i'm again no expert, however its a bit of a vicious cycle, although the original cause may be something that once fixed would improve and not need medication. If depression goes on, the chemicals in your brain can get imbalanced and maybe what you need is a light anti-depressant to go along with therapy. Like someone said, cognitive behavioural therapy is fantastic, my partner also suffers depression occasionally, and although triggered by chemical imbalance, he has many past issues that have built up over years and made everything worse. he was put on medication twice in the past, with bad therapy and nothing really changed, had a good spell and then fell back into it. however last year he was put on citalopram, just a low dose and received CBT for six months, he is now the best i've seen him in 5 years, has dealt with many issues and feels like that period of his life is over! It really takes getting a good councellor, and not always just a good on paper but someone you can actually relate to and feel comfortable with to talk to about things you might not tell your closest friends or family, and also finding the right medication, and right dose! (sometimes just a low dose to help numb the pain of dealing with the horrible underlying issues which you discuss in counseling).

Anyway, I hope you find something soon to help you, i would recommend finding a different GP to speak to and investigating uni councellors.

Also, this is a great forum to talk through every day issues and getting mo

Good Luck Keep_Calm, i'm sure you'll do brilliantly! :)
Don't worry about being nervous too, like others said on your other thread, how you feel and what others see are usually two different things! Maybe even join in a bit with them and go round listening to their conversations, finding out a little about them too? I'm sure that will make them feel more relaxed and you too as you learn about them and talk to them on a more social level before getting in to the teaching?
Just a suggestion, but i've only ever worked with students on a more relaxed, one to one basis!

Best of luck!

Hi everyone, hope you're all having productive Monday and you're feeling better Sue!? The next chapter will come together soon, i'm sure!

Well, I went to see my boss this morning and told him how I was feeling about my chapter, he had a bit of time spare and offered to have a look at it straight away so i left it with him! Quite a bit of red pen but all little changes, he was happy with what i'd done and said it wasnt rubbish at all, content good, quite coherent and first half of intro just needed small changes and was ready! Second half not so strong, but I knew that cos that's where i'd given up!

Anyway, I was basically freaking out about nothing and feel much better knowing he's now seen what i've written and its not a waste! Going to get stuck into his corrections and tightening up the second half and filling in all the gaps! Even managed to get my job application done and ready for submitting so all in all a good day! :)

Feeling much more positive about it all today,

cheers for listening,
KT (up)

Hi Sue,
Thanks again for being the voice of reason! you're completely right, and i'm feeling slightly better today! didnt manage to do much yesterday but did read a couple of important papers so not all lost!

In the office today, and hopefully going to see my boss, but also putting application together for job, and then maybe do some editing of intro tonight and just hand it in to supervisor for "red-penning"!! :)

Oh no, i hope you're feeling better, I had flu other week and its very frustrating, and tiring, just ease yourself back in otherwise it'll take your body longer to recover properly and you won't be as effective. eat lots of chocolate :p

had lovely anniversary thank you, nice walk in the countryside and a yummy dinner, shame my weekend wasnt very productive afterwards, but another day/week is upon us....(up)

Good luck everyone

Hi everyone,

I'm also dreaming about submitting by christmas, however today i'm having a massive freak out, and possibly small panic attack! i've been up since 9am, and 5 hours later i haven't written a word! trying to finish my intro, which is mostly done, just tidying up, updating and completing 4 last sub chapter bits! however, its felt this week like everything i've added has made the whole thing worse, and it becomes more incoherent!

I could leave it and go on to my second chapter, but I feel I shouldn't give up on the intro when its so close to completion and I could get the first draft to my boss! I'm not sure how he'll react to it, and whether it is really bad, or i'm being a silly perfectionist, and seriously wondering whether to open a fresh document and rewrite it,with all the reference points from the original? This will take loads of time though when i'm not sure how bad it really is!!!???

Not sure anyone can really help, but just need to vent and freak out a little on here instead of to partner/friends etc! who prob think i'm over reacting and family keeps telling me that "i'm so close", "you'll get there" "you're just doing your usual and it will all be fine" etc etc etc, the usual one liners! ok, that sounds horrible, they're all great, and really supportive but just don't know what to say or how to help or encourage me!

anyway, does anyone else look at a chapter and think "oh *%$@ !*!*!, this looks awful, incoherent and probably doesn't even have the right content!?!? is this normal, or is it that my intro is just really bad and needs completely revamping!!!

Cheers

Hello Paperdoll!! Welcome aboard the forum, and to the life of a PhD student!

I'm not a newbie, just writing up at the moment, but thought i'd say hello anyway! All the best for starting next week, and hope the forum comes in handy throughout your study time - its a great place for help and anonymous screaming :) (hopefully you won't need to, but if you ever do...)

Best wishes,
KT

I think i'm off to bed! had a pretty unsuccessful day, but nice as my sister came through with my baby nephew, so had lots of fun and cuddles! :)

Been making a massive mindmap of my thesis, making it all colourful and visually aiding in the hope to help see all the important connections I need to emphasize througout work!
And the very dull job of going through references for intro and checking them all, making sure I have them all in and in the right format! (takes ages!!)

Having day with my partner tomorrow as its our 5th anniversary :-x!! looking forward to a nice day together, and then back to the desk for the weekend!

Best of luck everyone if you're on the midnight train! (up)

I do have a pdf of some but cant work out how to attach it on here?? Probably being really stupid! :)