Ooh. There are so many choices! Here are my top 3

1. Doctor Slimeball. Lanky spanish senior lecturer who would try to desparately impress the female students by wearing a child size Tshirt to show off his less than impressive muscle definition. His never-fail seduction technique would be to get his female doctoral students to stay behind after the rest of the lab left and try to kiss them. He was married and had 3 kids.

"I want you to go down to Prof. B's office, hack into his computer, and tell me what you find"- 5 months after I arrived at the place (supervisor is fairly computer illiterate and thought anyone who knows about computers can "hack")

"We all know that those that leave academia are the losers that can't hack it. They are not fit to do anything but sweep garbage."- His views when I talked about the possibility of looking for work outside universities.

"No, even though you wrote the paper, you can not be first author. A PhD is like an apprenticeship, and you are the apprentice and I am the master craftsman." - Master-bator more like.

I tend to find a lot of academics have fairly limited social skills and you have to allow for that. Many also have a bizarre way of rating success, what constitutes a good outcome, and they way they would judge the importance of friends and family.

I had an "eccentric" supervisor (who is no longer in academia due to internal politics), who would come up with some of the most random, odd and sometimes outright offensive things (including "People who don't go to university are all unwashed scum" "There are far too many Jews in our department"). I felt like Tim from The Office half the time having to listen to my supervisor being David Brent.

I stopped fighting it after a while, and tried to survive by scanning his emails for anything helpful, and ignorning the rest. I learned to blank out anything derogatory against me, or some of his wilder allegations against others.

Congrats on the baby.

I don't think they can sack you, but know that they can pile on emotional pressure/ be manipulative if they are that way inclined. I personally know of someone who is a post doc now, who was pregnant during the later stages of her PhD. She was told that she was free to take as much time as you want, but we WILL have to take your name off the paper she had mostly written, and that they may not have a desk for her when she comes back (because of space issues).

However, having a baby can give you a sense of perspective whilst doing a PhD, when you realise that your thesis isnt really the to-be-and-end-of compared to your child. This perspective is a HUGE strength.

Cont'd

The research team win out, as they get an unpaid powerless researcher (who actually has to pay for the privilige of working for them in fees), who is committed for a long period of time, doing work that they take the credit for. She started her PhD in 1998 and is still at the "literature review" stage. She is working for the same temping/admin agency now and she tells me that this may be the first year she has saved up enough money to "go on holiday overseas- like to Spain".

The funny thing is though she is the most rabidly optimistic pro-academic person. If you ask her "how is it going" she will say "Oh about a year left to go", which she has been saying since the early 2000s.

Convincing someone that they can work and do a PhD is quite a good scam for some research teams. I know of someone that agreed to work fulltime (to fund themselves, some adminy job) and do their PhD research part time. Initially she thought that she could spend 5 years doing it, and she worked her arse off, collecting data and running experiments etc, but everytime she approached her supervisor she would be encouraged to write up experiments as individual papers (that she would end up being second or third author on naturally).

Take the job.

People do pick up PhDs later, as universities are always grateful for the academic cannon fodder, but good experience, vital contacts and (gasp) a salary cannot be under appreciated. Take the job. Academia can wait.

Not come across this (not many of my research team taught undergrads).I am going to have to try this! Thanks folks!

I would have joined you, but decided to drown my sorrows last night.

I think the worst thing is the expectations of others. All of my (non-academic) friends and family are saying "You are a doctor now, so surely you are in demand/ shouldnt have any problems finding work?". I think that makes it ten times worse. If I was say a struggling actor or writer, I would feel better because everyone knows actors that wait on tables, because of the nature of the system. However, if I do get a temping job/ or McDonalds /whatever I will have to lie to them because I think the shame will be too much to bear.

I am just so angry, and am worried that this bitterness may be unconsciously coming across to others. My usually ever patient girlfriend is getting tired (she appreciates what I am going through, but I realise that even she has some limits). Others have taken my recent fortune as a way of vindicating their own insecurities ("Oh, Badhaircut went to a top uni, got a first,got a PhD scholarship, but he still ended up as a loser. Ha ha")

The truth is I am getting panicky as I will be homeless after the end of next month (last of my savings, cards maxed out etc), so I need something fast. I have written on spec (i.e. unsolicited) to almost 50 universities with a psychology department only to get very polite "Sorry but..." letters. As I may have mentioned before I have applied to nearly 40 post doc jobs, but although am shortlisted, just mentioning my supervisors name just seems to elicit sharp breaths and head shaking.

Have approached my own uni, but apart from a little work in the UCAS clearing period in the summer, they have been able to offer very little.

Maybe they are jealous, but they also have a steady income. Unfortunately, just having the title "Dr", doesnt mean that I can live off it, and doesnt seem to give you any respect either.

I had to endure this humiliating crap from bloody secretaries who in all likelyhood never made it past school. It is just frightning how insular the world of academia is, and how far removed from anything we can actually use to survive. The only work I was offered today was working in a hospital laundry for sub minimum wage, but they "would keep me on their books incase anything came up" (sniggering as they did so).

Applied for my 34th post-doc position today (in a field I dont really care about but am desparate), but something tells me with all the sh*tty luck I have been having, I should not be getting ready to iron my interview suit....

Okay, spent most of today hunting around temping agencies in the city. I need to pay for so many things, keep my head above water so I figured I could do something short term. It was one of the most humiliating experiences I have ever had the misfortune to encounter (and I include difficult supervision sesions with that).

Most temp companies don't care that you can type, reliable, self motivated and have a wealth of skills. Most of them regard PhD students as lazy, greedy primadonnas, and probably because several have some kind of chip on their shoulder, delight in shooting you down. One even said "Just because you have a PhD it doesnt mean anything around here".

I am gradually becoming aware of the perceptions of PhD students in the world of work. Its a bit like Sophie in the apprentice, almost everyone resents it, and will take any opportunity to laugh at the slightest weakness.

This is something that I also find infuriating, that we should ALL get funding, and that it creates a two tier system! Its very unfair in a lot of invisible ways too. I overheard a prof in my ex department before I left talk to a senior manager about how he would never hire a self funded PhD student because "if they werent good enough to get PhD funding they obviously werent good enough to bring in grants".

Sort of a double whammy. I hope his type are in the minority...