Hi 4Matt. Sounds like you are working very hard to me, and maybe that's why you're feeling the pressure so much? I've learned myself over the years that one of the warning signs for me that I'm not handling pressure very well is when I start feeling like I don't have time at all for anything else, and that no matter how hard I work I don't achieve anything. The thing I've found that relieves that feeling is to take some time out to do something purely for the fun of it - even if it's going to visit friends in another town, or taking a day off to go for a long walk in the country, or going swimming. Just something completely different to studying, that lets me forget what I'm doing for a while.

I would suggest that you try taking your foot off the accelerator, and sit back a little. 31 months is still a lot of time, and it is not physically possible to cover everything that seems relevant or interesting - some of it you just have to let go, and other bits you just have to consider as possible extension work in a hypothetical future post-doc study!

I think it's true that it relates to the particular couple, but I also think it takes some discipline and time management to be able to do everything you want. Otherwise the danger is that arranging time to see your boyfriend becomes yet another item in a long list of unmanageable tasks with too little time to achieve them, and that just leads to resentment and frustration.

I got together with my boyfriend five years ago, and after we started seeing each other I started a Masters degree part time while working. Now I'm in the second year of my full-time PhD. So for most of the time we've been seeing each other, I've been spending a lot of hours studying. It does mean that we don't see each other as much as we'd like - generally, we don't see each other during the week, but I go to his place on a Friday night and stay til Sunday, morning if I have a lot of work to do or late afternoon if I have more time spare. Sometimes we do meet mid-week, though, and sometimes it's completely spontaneous, we just fancy spending time together or going out for a drink or whatever. The key for us that we do have a regular routine, but that we also have flexibility - we see each other more often when I'm free, and less often when I'm busy. But he has to be totally understanding of that - luckily he is, despite not having done a PhD himself - he knows how hard I work. But we also text each other every day, sometimes dozens of times a day, so we rarely don't know what the other one's up to or what's going on in each other's day.

I think the hardest things for you might be that it's a new relationship so you're still developing your patterns and naturally want to be together much more (it's always more intense in the first few months...), and also that you and he have such different routines. I think time management on your part may well be something you need to look at - it should be possible to do the PhD work more or less 9-5 Mon-Fri - but also the two of you need to come to an agreement on how the time will work. (And also, I agree with whoever else asked this - how on earth can form filling be taking so long?! That's crazy! Is there any way you can limit that stuff so it doesn't take up so much time?)

There's really no reason why someone doing a PhD should not also have a life outside that PhD. We're not robots! And a PhD doesn't involve putting our lives on hold, it's part of the experiences that build up our whole life. That's ho I see it, anyway.

Morning!

I'm feeling a bit groggy after vivid dreaming all night - including dreaming that one of my supervisors came on holiday with me and my boyfriend, and when I turned over in bed he and my boyfriend were fast asleep with their arms around each other! :$ Very disturbing image! But I also dreamt that my boyfriend tried to take a cat backpacking with us, and just wouldn't listen when I told him it was a bad idea, so I'm sure none of it means anything!

Anyway, goals for today:
1.) Edit final section of questionnaire
2.) Go to supervision meeting at 11 and write up notes afterwards
3.) Work on online version of questionnaire
4.) Work on abstract for conference paper

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Well done chococake!

I just have one small section of my questionnaire left to do. It's stumped me for ages but I think I'm getting closer to a solution. Yay to me, finally making progress!

And on edit - just saw your word count, star-shaped, that's a woohoo too I should think!

Morning all

Just been for a good swim and feeling wide awake now. I have one main goal for today - to get my questionnaire finished. I also would like to make a start on creating the online version today if I have time.

Oh dear, this is going really slowly today. I've done loads of washing, been to the bank and the greengrocer's, and started on kitchen cleaning, but it's all just excuses for not getting on with the work. Must make myself stay at my desk and actually do some work!

Phew, took a while to dig through and find this thread this morning! Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Today's goals are to work on editing my questionnaire and to hopefully start creating the web version of it. Also need to work on an abstract I'm writing for a conference. And add a couple of bits to a presentation. And clean the bathroom, and the kitchen, which are both just filthy.

Gah, too much to do! Right, one thing at a time, and I'm not going to get stressed about this...

Made some progress on the presentation, and a few phone calls about visits. I think I'm habitually over-optimistic about how much I'll achieve. Anyway, time for the weekend I think :-) Have fun everyone! (Assuming you're not stuck working for the whole thing...)

Morning!

My goals for today are to write my presentation, draft out my abstract and phone one of the organisations I'm studying to arrange a site visit. So, exactly the same as yesterday then! :$ Let's hope I make better progress today!

I managed to do nothing at all yesterday - was feeling headachey and ill so spent the day on the sofa watching DVDs. Probably what I needed, but it means I've now got masses of work to do and even less time to do it in.

Oh well, it'll either get done or it won't. Goals for today:
1.) Draft out abstract for conference submission
2.) Work on presentation for trip to Paris
3.) Phone organisation I'm studying to arrange next site visit

Hello all again.

Got my journal article sorted for sending to the co-author. It's completely unfinished and covered in highlighted notes where I need to go back and do more, but it's all I can do right now. I think she'll have a fit! But at least sending it to her should buy me a few weeks before I have to think about it again!

Good luck pineapple! Sounds like you've got some clear thoughts on the next steps so that must be a positive thing!

Morning everyone! Hope you're all rested and raring to go...

I completely failed to finish my journal article yesterday, and have come to the conclusion that I just don't have time at the moment. So, this morning I'm going to prepare what I've done so far to send to the co-author anyway, with bullet points and notes explaining the bits I haven't done. And then get on with some more urgent work.

Goals for today:
1.) Prepare draft journal article and send to co-author with big apologies(!!!)
2.) Contact the two organisations I'm studying to arrange the next step with each
3.) Start drafting abstract for conference paper (be great if I could get the whole thing drafted, but that's unlikely)

Heh, star-shaped, I hope the night was at least fun! I'm struggling too for similar-ish reasons - it was my birthday yesterday so spent the weekend having more alcohol than I normally would, and went out to see comedy last night (Mark Thomas's new show about walking the Israel-West Bank wall - very funny and poignant and thought-provoking). So, tired and wishing it was still the weekend today!

This paper is hard work. The main problem is that I'm trying to fit it in around other work and consequently feel rushed and can't spend the time on it that I'd like to. But the academic who's co-authoring did say I could send it to her in a very draft state, with bullet points in places if I get stuck. I may have to resort to that!

Hello everyone.

Today is a mad scramble to get my draft paper finished and sent to the academic who's going to be co-author. I know before I start that there's way too much left to do - probably three or more days' worth - but I just can't spare any more time on it. So, it's head down get it written time, and I hope it turns out quicker than I suspect!

Good luck with all your work today!