Ooooh Sneaks, that gives me the shivers! Or maybe I'm just cold too.

The book I've set myself to read is seriously dull. Very useful, but dull. Must. make. myself. read. it!!!

Old and new stats sounds like fun. No, really! I'm starting to get into my stats now, after crying in frustration through most of my MSc about how little I understood!

Goal 1 for today - going to the library and finding a couple of useful research methods books - is done.

Goal 2 is to read! If I can get half way through the smaller of the two books by the end of the day I'll be very happy.

Finally I've finished yesterday's goals. How pathetic! I'm really disappointed in myself - I just can't motivate myself this week. Oh well, I'm going to take the evening off, cook some nice food and start again tomorrow with a fresh perspective.

Wow, Sneaks, that's quite a skill to have. I wish I'd known how to do that - my cat (who died a couple of years ago, I still miss him...) was such a pathetic creature that I don't think he'd ever managed to catch a bird in his entire life, until one day, when he came running in to me in the kitchen with a bird in his mouth. The bird was stil alive and struggling, and my cat looked really freaked out and clearly didn't know what to do next! Finally I got the bird off him but it was clearly going to die, and I didn't know what to do, so we both just watched it die. Only took a few minutes, thankfully, but I wish I'd known ho to dispatch it more kindly! The cat never caught another bird after that - I think he was traumatised!

Oh well, time to get on with some work - I went swimming first thing, and then one of my supervisors came over and had a chat unexpectedly (first time he's ever done that, took me by surprise a bit!), so I'm now way behind schedule. And failed to hit my goals yesterday too. I did get good feedback from my supervisors about the Methodology paper I was killing myself to write last week so that was a relief. So, today's two goals are:

1.) Complete the outline of the journal article I'm planning to write, started yesterday.
2.) Write up minutes of yesterday's supervision meeting and send them to my supervisors.

Had a really relaxed weekend (really needed the break after killing myself to hand in my Methodology last week) so now I'm taking ages to get into the work today! Oh well. Two goals for today: to write an outline of a journal article I'm supposed to be writing, and to meet my supervisors and get feedback on my Methodology. Not looking forward to that meeting!

Sounds like you're making progress, star-shaped!

I've just sent off my paper to my supervisors. Yay! Huge relief. I can't quite believe I've managed it. My head is spinning now, and unfortunately I have a statistics evening class starting in 45 minutes so not much time to relax! Oh well, at least that horror's out of the way, until it gets torn apart in my supervision session on Monday.

I'm at a conference for the next three days. I thought it would be a bit of a skive, but they want us PhD students to facilitate some of the sessions, and it looks like the poster session will be more formal than I expcted too. Ah well, it's all good.

Two hours till my deadline and I have one small(ish) section left to write and then my references etc to add in. I might just make it!

Phew, I've just been swimming and it's filled me with energy. I now have seven and a half hours to finish my paper - I am ready for action! Off I go....

Phew, finished for today. Didn't get to the end of the draft of my paper but I only have a couple of sections left to write, and then some editing to do, and it's done - and I'll have about seven hours to do that in tomorrow, so I should make it. That even gives me time to go for a swim in the morning, which is great - I've been stuck at my desk for too long, I need some exercise!

Plodding away here. Been at it all day and I'm gradually making progress, though tomorrow's deadline still looks way too soon. Maybe I'll make it though. I'm getting tired now, which isn't a good sign. Ah well, back to it! Good luck everyone!

Don't worry too much about it, Kollantai - I think this is natural when speaking in a new environment and when we feel there's so much pressure on us to shine. I think the thing is not to worry too much about making a fool of yourself - the chances are you really didn't, and if you seemed nervous at all I think people would be understanding about how difficult it can be for students just starting out. Any kind of public speaking gets easier with experience.

I know this myself - in my previous life before being a PhD student, I had to do a lot of public speaking, and at first I was just like you, easily flustered and with a mind that went blank just when I needed to think. But I gradually got better at it, until by the end I could stand up and speak without notes to packed rooms for forty or more minutes and really entertain people. It didn't come naturally, but by the end nobody could have known that just from watching me. In the early days I countered my nerves by having written notes, and thinking things through very carefully before I spoke, and always being over-prepared, but the need for that, and the feeling of a blank mind, really does go with a little experience.

Hi there. You sound so much like the way I often feel! I'm eight months in and I constantly worry that I'm not doing enough, or that the things I'm doing are really superficial, or the wrong things. I'm sure the past three months haven't been unproductive really; even if you haven't quite found your direction yet the process of examining things that turn out to be the wrong direction is still going to help you in the long run as you define what your focus actually is. Three months in is no time at all, so don't be too hard on yourself! Sometimes it's good just to sit back a little bit and try to think things through, rather than rushing forward looking for a path that hasn't quite been defined yet. Good luck with it!

Hi there. I'm not in the same situation because I only started my PhD 8 months ago, so I can't offer any real suggestions and advice - other than to say, hang in there! You're almost at the end, and what an achievement to have got so far already! Once you're over these final hurdles and can look back on it all from a more comfortable place in your life I'm sure you'll feel proud for having achieved so much. And judging from other threads on this board, you're definitely not the only one feeling these pressures - other people come through it so there's no reason why you can't too! Good luck with it all!

Oh Jeez, you really didn't need the advertising response from the first poster! Really, do they honestly think they'll drum up business that way??

Anyway - it sounds like you're having a tough time and it's totally understandable to feel this way. A PhD is so different to other courses where you naturally get to meet people through being in the same lectures, or to being an undergraduate where you meet people in halls of residence. It is quite an isolated existence. It is difficult to form new close friendships but do hang in there, it will get easier as time passes! It sounds like you have made some friends, but it may take time to find/form the really close friendships you've had previously. I don't really have much advice about how to go about doing that, other than to try cultivating one or two of your current friendships into closer ones by arranging to do things together and building up the time spent together, or maybe you can find new people who you 'click' with more easily through joining a group or club or something that would give you a shared interest to start from?

Other than that - a lot of these feelings are part of the uncertainty that we all feel as PhD students, I think, but amplified by feeling alone. Hang in there, and come back here and chat with all of us! Maybe you can also go and visit some of your old friends for a weekend, just to recharge your batteries a little?

Good luck with it all anyway!

Well done, Walminski...

Back to it this morning. Goal for today: finish this draft. It's one of those papers that seems to just keep growing, I'm never any closer to the end.