Gah. Managed to produce the world's most rubbish poster for my meeting with my supervisors. So now I have lots of hints from them about how to improve it, all ignoring the fact that the main reason it's rubbish is that I have nothing to put on it yet! But my lovely second supervisor gave me a new template with a much fancier university logo and swirly border, so that's cheered me up a bit. As has having a sandwich, as I realised I hadn't eaten since yesterday lunchtime, and that might have explained how sluggish I was feeling!

Oh well. Goal 2 for today: redesign poster according to supervisors' comments.

Good morning!

I've managed to faff around doing nothing for a few days, and now have a bad case of the guilts for being so lazy. I've also now only got three hours until I have to meet my supervisors to show them a draft poster I've designed for a conference. Only I haven't designed it yet. So, that's my goal for the next three hours!!

Gah. Really must get back on track and knuckle down to some hard work....

Like everyone else, I had a few reasons for starting.

First was that I'd been studying for my MSc part-time while working, and I realised that I loved everything about studying - the university environment, being surrounded by intelligent people who were enthusiastic about the subject, bing able to focus on idea sthat interested me and find out new information, all of that! The thought of three (or so) years spent researching full-time, and the chance to become an expert in my field, just seemed too good to pass up.

Also, I love my subject, and think it's important for society as a whole (I'm looking at individual behaviour around environmental issues like climate change), and the chance to be part of the solution to these problems is just amazing. That's a kind of idealistic reason, and that's dropped off a bit as I've got more into the research and seen how specialised and small many of the research findings seem, and as I've come to value research for itself a bit more, instead of as a way to save the world.... :-)

The most pragmatic reason, though, is the one I jokingly tell people outside academia was my main motivation - the place where I was working introduced a ten per cent pay cut and started planning redundancies, and it looked like my entire section was going to be got rid of. I couldn't stay there after the pay cut as my pay was stupidly low already and I couldn't make my rent, but with the economy the way it's been, there were no similar jobs coming up. And the PhD bursary works out being more than I was earning in the job anyway, so financially I'm better off! Not many PhD students can say that! But that just shows how badly paid I was before!

Intheheadplease, this last reason sounds like one of those not-good-reasons you mentioned. And it's not a good reason on its own. But all it is really is the flip-side of so many people feeling they can't do a PhD because of financial commitments or family or other responsibilities. It's just a practical nudge that helps with all the other stuff - and I certainly don't regret starting the PhD, even if the impending redundancy meant I was ready to jump much more quickly into an opportunity than I might have been otherwise. But maybe sometimes jumping quickly gives you (one) the courage to do things that you (one) might otherwise back out of?

Heh, good one Sneaks.

And Algaequeen, oh yeah, I know those days - so frustrating!

I've just finished today's work. Phew. Unfortunately it means I just saw how much I still need to read before I can start writing my Methodology section. Oh well. A nice day away at a seminar at another university tomorrow (at a university I can actually walk to from my flat, rather than my own university that's a train ride and a bus ride away! If only I could have done my PhD there instead...)

Yay, well done Keenbean, that must be such a relief to you!

My first task for today was paper based, so I tried not turning on my laptop until that work was done. And I got it done super quick! Just not being distracted by emails and internet and 'oh I'll just take a 5 minute break' moments.

So now, second goal for today is to pull together notes I've already made on data analysis techniques. And goal three will be to prioritise reading for my Methodology section.

I can totally relate to the putting on weight thing! But I gave up smoking three months ago which is partly responsible for that. Now I go swimming at least twice a week and with the weather improving I go for walks near home, so I'm hoping that all of that together will help with the weight and also with some of the feeling of being buried under work and having no life.

When I did my Masters degree I was working at the same time, and 2 years of effectively having no time off at all and always feeling like I was running to catch up put a huge dent in my self-confidence - not in terms of academic stuff, but definitely on the social side. I feel it now a little bit - I go to the pub with my boyfriend and find I'm struggling to make small talk with the people we meet up with. And I don't really care that much! I used to think it would be hard to do academic work all the time, but that was when I had a job and pretty much hated work and spent all my time looking forward to evenings and weekends. Now I love what I do. But I'm still a first year - I can totally imagine feeling the way other people are describing when I'm getting closer to the end of the process. Though maybe knowing just how horrible it can be to be working full time (15 years in employment before my PhD!!!), and knowing what I'm escaping by being a student, will actually keep me from getting too despondent? Maybe. I'll see, I guess.

Anyway, everyone says a PhD is tough, so we have to remember, this is possibly the biggest challenge of our lives. It's hard to think positively when everything's weighing down, but I guess we just have to keep inching forward, knowing we'll get there in the end.

Goal one not even half done. Hmm. I just can't get motivated today, I think it's the gorgeous sunshine. Maybe I'll let myself off work today and do some tomorrow instead.

Heh, CeCeF, that's my first goal for today as well - get the flat tidy enough that I can actually sit at my table and spread my papers out.

Second goal - look at the structure of a dozen papers from a journal I want to submit an article to, so I can write mine to suit the journal.

Woo, that's really exciting! That's actual recognition that you've done worthwhile research and said something new. Congratulations, no wonder you're happy :-)

Everyone seems very focused today!

A late start because I went swimming this mornign. Feel full of energy now, apart from my arms, which are more like lead weights! Oh well.

Goal for today: to plan out what I need to do to write journal paper, and to refamiliarise myself with the data it'll be based on.

Mondays are so difficult! It always takes me ages to get going and get my head into work mode, even if I've been doing PhD work over the weekend. Not that I did this weekend.

Goal 1 was to make it to my supervision session on time and react in a thoughtful and mature manner to comments on the literature review I submitted last week. I needn't have worried though, they had a few suggestions but overall thought it was excellent, and then my main supervisor asked me to be third author on a paper because I know the journal and the specific literature better than him and the other author. So that went okay then :-)

Goal 2 now is to go through the comments on my literature review and plan out what changes need to be made.

My goal for today is to start planning out a journal article I'm supposed to be writing. But it's Friday and I've worked really hard without much of a breaka over the last few weeks and I haven't got started on the work yet, so maybe I'll take the day off and start again on Sunday or Monday. I am just *so* lazy at the moment!

Heh, totally agree with your sentiments there, Slizor!

Normally I'd do the same - make a vote that makes a statement about my principles and the values I stand up for. However, I'm in a really marginal constituency (they reckon there might be as few as 250 votes between Labour and Tory), and my current MP (Labour) is actually really good - he stands up to the Labour leadership when he disagrees with them, he thinks things through carefully and always takes a well-reasoned position, he's a fantastic constituency MP (taking up issues that people come to him with and working behind the scenes) and he came out of the expenses scandal looking like one of the most honest MPs in Parliament. So I'm voting for him, even though overall I dislike many of the things Labour have done. And I absolutely 100 per cent do not want the Tories to get in.

It's the first time I've ever lived in a marginal constituency - every other time I've voted, there's aways been such a large majority (usually for Labour, though once for a Lib Dem) that my vote hasn't really made a difference. This time round, I'm told my marginal constituency might be one of the ones that decides the whole election. Yikes! Exciting and yet terrifying...

Woo, people are making progress, that's great.

I just emailed off my literature review to my supervisors, so now I'm free!! Yay! I promised myself a day off tomorrow (I have some householdy type stuff to do anyway, and have been working flat out for a few weeks) so I'm going to relax tonight and enjoy feeling like I've actually achieved something. And then back to it on Thursday!