My supervisor left a few years ago part way through my part-time PhD. He was going to carry on supervising me long-distance. It worked well initially, we even continued to meet occasionally. But then meetings stopped, and has been correspondence supervision ever since, with often delayed response due to his new workload and probably also distance from me. The person I was supposed to talk to locally wasn't suitable because of his heavy workload. The problems with supervision came to a head at a thesis monitoring session, when a new joint supervisor was appointed locally, one who had the expertise to take things on, and the time to do a proper job. Things have worked much better since.

This story doesn't help with your immediate problem of how to fix things. Another option to avoid aggro from your supervisor is to let things run for a little bit after he leaves, see how things go, but speak up promptly then if it isn't working. The graduate tutor should be around then - or someone who can take on their responsibilities - and able to help you come to a better solution. Also I'd be very concerned if your local supervisor isn't a good option for a number of reasons, because you can't rely on your distant supervisor any more.

Of course our situations are slightly different situations. I was keen to hang on to my old supervisor because he was so good, and had helped steer me well throughout the PhD. You've had a more problematic relationship. But even though I wanted to hang on to the supervisor, and that was his plan too, long-distance supervising didn't work so well in practice.

Good luck!

It could be a wave. I'm long-term ill as well, and part-time for the same reason. I often have periods of many months when I can't get anything useful done at all, then have to pick things up again during calmer patches. And I've had huge low patches during the part-time PhD, particularly the middle section, so can relate to those.

The advice to weigh up the pros and cons is good. I won't be able to work in future, so a career in academia or anywhere else is totally out of the question for me. But doing the PhD gives me something positive to focus on, and it's a topic I really enjoy. It doesn't sound as though you get that much pleasure, but you need to consider this for yourself.

Don't rush to make a decision though. Talk it through with your supervisor, openly, and see where things go from there. I have left a PhD in the past too, over a decade ago, but that was due to the illness striking: I was too ill to carry on full-time, my funding council then wouldn't support a switch to part-time, and I couldn't self-fund. Then I had no option to continue. Now I'm hanging on in there to the bitter end. But it does sound as though things are hard for you.

When I feel that low I usually talk to my husband about it, and then take a bit of a break. Don't force yourself to do PhD work when you're in the mindset, do something else, anything else other than that. And that usually means that I feel better the next day and am all ready to go again.

I've had phenomenal PhD lows over the last 2 years (I'm part-time, so the time-scale is roughly equivalent to second year mid PhD doldrums), but have somehow got through them, and I'm nearly finished now.

Also don't make any decisions in haste. If you're upset with the PhD take a break. Even a day doing something else can make all the difference. Don't keep slogging on if you're miserable. But that doesn't mean walking away.

I'm not at a big distance from my university, but I'm severely disabled, and practically can't go in very often at all. I've made my home my base. That is a big of a problem for my research, as a history student, because normally I'd go to archives all over the place to do research (and not in my home city). Instead I've dragged the primary source material to myself in the form of photocopies, microfilm copies, and digital photographs. Then I can analyse them at home.

Having said that I am expected to attend the university for training sessions, and of course the very occasional meetings with supervisors. Generally though I don't go near the place. This does have downsides - I'm very cut off from fellow students - but is the only way practically I would be able to complete the PhD. And I'm nearly finished.

If I was a science lab-based PhD student (as I was indeed over a decade ago) this form of working might not be possible, since they're generally required to be in the lab/university on an every day basis. It could also be a problem for students who are required to take on teaching duties, and so need to be in the university more often.

The most displaced I've ever felt was 3 years ago when my life-threatening serious illness was proving very resistent to treatment and I was facing up to the possibility of dying quite soon. I couldn't relate to other people at all, their problems seemed so trivial, and I felt totally disconnected from the everyday world. I remember being at a research seminar in my department once and looking around the room and having very strange emotions about my position there.

I sought help. Obviously medical help to fight the disease (and I'm still fighting), but also help from the university counsellors and the chaplain to get through the immediate crisis. These people are there to help you. Please use that help.

I got some quite severe criticism, and very unexpected, from a writing tutor. I expected criticisms about the writing, but then she started questioning my whole methodology and assumptions. I was confident she was wrong, and uninformed, but I wasn't with it enough at the time to argue back. However it prompted me to make sure I'd addressed such concerns in the opening chapters of my thesis, tightening things up even more, and thus covering myself. My supervisors thought her concerns were totally unfounded. Still shook me a bit, but I turned it into something positive.

Generally though I'm very confident about my work, and its value. Might not always be able to enunciate that (which could be a problem in a viva!), but generally fine.

I agree that it doesn't matter whether there's clinical depression or not. Counsellors are not just for that, they're there to help with people who're having difficulties coping with their course emotionally, for whatever reason.

Sinead, have you made that counsellor appointment yet? It's many days since I last asked you this. Would it really be so awful to see a counsellor? It might really help, honest! I've been to see a counsellor twice and both times I wasn't clinically depressed. Did the counselling help? Sure!

My supervisor left 2/3 of the way through my part-time PhD. We carried on meeting for a while, and he's given me great feedback on the writing stage, but things were much more hands-off, even though he's a very experienced supervisor and someone I was keen to hold on to if possible. If he'd left as early as your supervisor had left I would seriously recommend that you get a new first supervisor who can give you the attention and focus you need.

I was supposed to talk to someone else, effectively as a second supervisor (though one had never officially been appointed), but he was really too busy, it wasn't fair on him or me. Things came to a head at a thesis monitoring committee meeting, when it was recognised that I really needed at least a new joint supervisor, because of the time commitment involved in meetings and going through my thesis chapter drafts. And that was arranged for me, and is working well.

Is there someone independent you can talk to in the department about your supervision arrangements? I was supposed to have a thesis monitoring meeting each year to check that things were working out ok, and that's what picked up on the unsatisfactory arrangement, and set in place an alternative.

Good luck!

I agree. Have you arranged a meeting with a counsellor yet? Doing this is really important.

AHRC send it quarterly in advance, to the universities, who are then responsible for distributing it to the award holders. My university does this by bank transfer through the banking system, which takes a bit of setting up at the start of funding, but worked well afterwards.

If you have a contract with rules in it then that makes a difference. You need to talk to your supervisor about what exactly will happen. I would have thought working a 90 day notice period if you are quitting is silly.

I left a PhD in 1996. It was an instant leave. My funding immediately stopped and that was that. A clean break. A painful break, but a clean break.

Good luck.

The other trick I've used when I have a lot of writing to do and am not sure where to begin is to record my ideas about it, using an audio program on my computer or on cassette or on a dictaphone etc. I find speaking the ideas more productive as an approach rather than typing blindly. I end up going off in all sorts of strange directions and think of things I wouldn't normally think of. Then I play it back and type it up, and am usually quite surprised by some of the things that came up in the process.

Good luck!

If you're undecided at the start I'd write the article and see which side convinces you - or neither if that's the case! That's what I've done before, not knowing where I'll end up when I start out.

20,000 is a massive length for a humanities article though. Most humanities journal papers are around 8,000 words. What type of article is it if it's going to be that much longer? Have you tried brainstorming by drawing spider diagrams / mind maps or similar to see how much content you have for that length?

You shouldn't worry about what you'd say to them. It would be fine. Trust me: I've been there / done that! But don't pass up this chance for help. And if you can persuade a friend to come along that would almost certainly be fine with the counsellor too.

Take a break right now. Stop worrying, stop pushing yourself, and give yourself a little time. Stressing more now isn't going to get you a solution.

But please see a counsellor.