Ardelia,
First of all, sorry to hear of your predicament. In a perverse sense of consolation, you are not alone. It does seem that supervisors are either at one end of the spectrum or the other. The good ones are rare i.e. regular, feedback in a constructive non-personal manner, but then you have the sh!tehawks!
Secondly, there will be an end to this, but it has got to be on your terms. I know this seems hard, but you are going to have to just face up to the facts that this bit€h cannot be dealt with reasonably, so therefore you have to find the strength to just keep things at work ticking over. Keep on writing and submit everything substantial to your supervisor via email, even if it is a question. Therefore she will have to write a response (written evidence). Take on board her assertion that you ARE actually crap at everything and that submitting work every few days is just your way of getting feedback to improve. You are there to learn and this whole thing of being crap maybe true but it is a failing of the supervisor if you are truly bad (and we all know that as bad as we think we are, we are not). Maybe it might mean that you stop this imposed exile and talk to the other research students about their work and ask them for feedback on your ideas and material.
Look, I could ramble on, but fact is that this bit€h is taking out all her failings on you - it happens and the only thing to do is somehow not to take it personally (yeah, I know, easier said). Keep everything in a written record - emails, minutes of meetings etc. If she wishes to report to the head, call her bluff and let her. She may "win" but the revelations of her failings would make it phyric (sic) and I don't think she'd want that. Make your project worthwhile - identify conferences (conferencealert.com) and journals that you plan to attend/submit to in the medium term and make out as much planning as you can i.e. get your long-term plan together and if it does go to a complaint, you have evidence of work.
Lastly, I hope your Ma is ok. Remember, at the end of the day, it is through friends and family that we get our strength from. Do not isolate yourself from these people (I can remember feeling guilty taking time off to go to a friends funeral - now thats when the penny dropped!). You can and you will get thro'. It does not have to be a lonely process.
Worst case scenario (and this is last measure, nuke-em time) ... send her the first few lines of Lamb of God's "Omerta" i.e. if you have a personal problem with me, sort it out with me but ya mess with the bull, ya get the horns! Ah yes - heavy metal ... one of life's underestimated sources of wisdom :-)

Take care and take those small steps to going back to the person you once were and have every right to continue to be!

Lillilly - first of all, you CAN and WILL do this! Was at a workshop held by the college here given by Hugh Kearns from Australia (see this link ... http://ithinkwell.com.au/). He made some obvious but great points.
1. Did you write before - you did!
2. Did your writing before let you down - it didn't!
3. Is every "draft" the finished article - no, by its nature it is a "work in progress"
4. Are you doing the PhD to learn - you are! You must learn how to write academically ... in short, review what is there in a critical manner and fit that in with your work
5. Are you a moron - No!
6. Are you receiving specific and constructive feedback and moreso are you asking for that? Are you getting back vague instructions and basically being told to read the journal works of others, who had to start somewhere. The journal article that gets published on first draft is a <.0000000000001% rarity (I'm talking not even internal reviews here)
You don't become a bad writer, but the unfortunate thing is we all should be writing more in order to get more practise. You are right - you can't wake up and become a prof.
Because we are somewhat intelligent, we are experts at finding ways to avoid the dreaded prospect of writing (distractions like forums get in the way :p )
Get your ideas down in an outline document, go back to your supervisor and explain these in terms of your project. If this is agreed, well then take one section at a time and ask for constructive feedback, not a quick appraisal. If ye are agreed on the theme and flow of the document, the writing style can then be worked on.

At worst case your supervisor will not want to see you go - at best, he/she has thrown down the gauntlet.

Here are some ... unfortunately quality assurance dept. was closed!

What goes boing boing arf arf?
A rubber seal

Did ya hear of the successful deli owner?
He was on a roll!

How many "bosses" does it take to change a screw-in light bulb?
One - He just holds it up and lets the world revolve around him

How many "bosses" does it take to change a normal light bulb?
None - there is no need for light bulbs as the sun, the moon and the stars shines out his ar$e anyways!

People thought it was strange that Tom Jones sang at the Guinness 250th birthday - He said that its not unusual! :p

Florence - just get yourself back in the game. So, you are not gonna make the deadline - so what!
Do NOT pick up a book - you know what you must do and the knowledge is inside you. Even if it something as simple as a mindmap of your own thoughts of the doc you promised to have done on a sheet of paper, which will then form the basis of the heading, even if you started this (not even necessarily finish this!). Ok, you might read stuff later that goes against what you said, but leave that for then.
Your supervisor would like to see what you are thinking, not what other people. If you have time to back this up, grand! If not, at least it is a train of thought that is moving forwards (it might be slow, but it ain't in reverse).
If you feel that you must read something, read a set limit of papers (in fairness, everyone should have the guts of 10 papers read in 2 hours ... no, not notes but at least some papers with the intro and conclusion read ... desperate times etc).
So
1. Mindmap
2. Headings
3. 1-2 papers on each heading - maybe 3 if time
4. Go back to mindmap and extend to show possible relationships

Assuming it is either some lit or a paper you are doing.

We are ALL capable of doing this and leave the self-hatred for the squanderers of funding or plagarists! You are neither! You are in this position because of previous work that showed you can write. You must remember that everything good usually starts out from something at times that is crud!

Last word - just write something!

The reason for lack of perspective: YOU ARE TIRED!!!
You are working hard and dunno about you, but by Friday, we are all burnt out and two days is not enough time to switch off and forget the stuff. Give up the X-Factor and go for a walk instead ... I know you'll miss the incisive debate and oh so brilliant talent but you'll clear the head and feel a lot better :-)

Eska,
Tackle one thing at a time. If you are worried about the quality of writing, get a friend to look over it. You have a load done already and in fairness, none of us get 100% of what we are meant to do done on time.
You know the advice that is out there, but all I would say is that your panicking is not unfounded but you could possibly aleviate some of it. Maybe you could get your supervisor to look over what you have done already if he has time (it would demonstrate work done and also get necessary feedback). It is a sign of the times in Phds that you have to take on a bigger external workload and be honest in stating that this is tiring you. As for letting your supervisor down, well, are you abusing funding or have you absolutely nothing done? No. It is possible that you just are sick sh!t of the sight of the stuff and need to move onto the next phase of work i.e. a fresh start at interesting topics.
Worst case is just take 5-6 pages and while watching that god-awful tripe that is X-Factor, review what you have written, even in the ad breaks. It will all add up eventually.

Snoops - I would have to largely agree with Stressed on the first year. If I had to go back in time, I would have been far more disciplined and tackling the PhD in a deliverable manner i.e. specific targets rather than "Ah sure read away there for a year!". True, you need to read to find your niche, but unless this is recorded it does seem aimless at times. So, see this Lit Review as your first target. Like a painting, build it up in layers. It is in no ways meant to be journal quality so don't worry about writing style for now.
Practical tip: If your college runs courses on PhD topics, such as presenting, referencing etc., sign up for them. If you have to go back and do it again in a year or two, so what! They usually only last a day anyways. As well as being useful directly, they are also a good way to meet likeminds.
As for papers, read the intro and conclusion fast and make a decision then ... there is some utter drivel printed! But I cannot stress this ... Get a system of referencing in place now! No matter how valuable you think the paper is and that how could you forget it, you will! I use Endnote but was using it for the Masters so it wasn't new. Find out what other people use (and forget making up your own system - it won't work).
And as for the panic when ya heard that you had to have this done - that is a normal reaction and drives home the fact that you are now responsible for doing a bit more than learning off theorems etc.
The PhD is a job but look about you next time in the office ... do the people have two heads or Noble prizes - NO! They are the same as you.

BTW its Bonzo ... I am no way affiliated to that bunch of jackeens U2 ...:p

Scratch that last post ... it is actually a bit nippier out now! Moved inside but gonna go for a walk later.
Moved into a small house I inherited from the uncle and best thing for separating myself being near the college. Commute is rotten but only doing it 2-3 times a week. It really does bring home (excuse the pun) that it is work! Using a dictaphone to take down thoughts on the journey and it helps to just over-worrying about stuff and especially now since I have to work more externally (funding is finito!). Three years in and a long way to go, but a change of scenery is well worth it... if ye get the chance do it!!

Sorry for the digression, but in order to get a bit of perspective, Bug, get other people to read your work. A tip if that is not an option, read your writing aloud to yourself ... it really does help in helping in "What was I thinking there?". Bug - I think it was yourself that broached the idea of having a distinctive tips/suggestion section - any more on that notion? I'd be more than willing to put down a few tips (learnt from mistakes over the years :$

Any chance of passing some of my work as your own to get some feedback ... sure, your supervisor will be a bit shocked at the change of topic, but just say you had a St. Paul "Road to Damascus" epiphany 8-)

On the long term, at least now you know somebit of how your super's style of writing is like and can save yourself time in the future by incorporating that with your own. See it as taking a bit from someone who has got thro' and seems to be way stronger from it.

Now, I don't know what the weather is like there, but I'm off out into the garden with the lit review, some orange and ice, ciggies and some Steve von Till on the cd player (now there is one guy I would love as being me supervisor ... he actually is a teacher and all!). If you haven't listened to his stuff, I'd recommend it!

Bug - can we swap supervisors???? Your one sounds as if she does actually take time to read what you have prepared and is working towards getting it finished. I know there is a feeling that "Hey, this is my work, not yours!" so maybe bring up this concern with her in a diplomatic fashion i.e. is there corrections that COULD be made and corrections that HAVE to be made?
Take a break from the paper for a while and if necessary, give it to someone else just to see their feedback. Sounds as if you have a very considerate super so don't rock the boat too much.
On an eight draft of a paper now and feedback is f**king piecemeal.

Woke up this morning and thought to myself "What did you do last night?" so I had to just check did I say antything ultra-moronic :p

Sue is right - it is a steep learning curve and it seems daunting but no-body said it would be easy. Everybody has to start their profession from a blank and the phd is no way different. It is more about proving your ability to survive the process as much as what you have proven. Just a few things.
1. Get one or two good papers and look for the number of citations (google scholar has that stat). Find the main generic papers and us these to find other papers
2. Get using a good reference application. Endnote seems to be the main one. Don't worry about learning off the functionality for now, but use it to store a list of your references
3. Take notes and from these make out an outline document, which you build on (save each version with the date modified as a means of keeping track)

There are plenty of other bits of advice and this is just one of the places you can get them. The most obvious place you can find this advice is with your colleagues. If they are any way bit decent, they will sit down over a cuppa and give you some advice as to the best authors or the key topics in your area. If they don't, well then you know what you are dealing with. I am sure there will be times when you will impart some of your expertise to them. Also, there is nothing stopping you doing an interim report to the supervisor and just ask for a few pointers.

Don't worry - you are well capable but you must actively remind yourself of that and knock out the naysaying voices. It is hard, but to paraphrase Superchicken's apt phrase ... "You knew the job was dangerous when you took it Fred!"

Stop - you are well capable! So what if they have experience - you don't so you have a non-biasd view!
Stop crying and get into gear - sit down in a quiet environment and write down what you think are the main issues ... trust your instinct. Then by using the search engines for papers, find research accordingly. Science Direct and google scholar
I'm sorry but locked at the mo, but trust me, you are underselling yourself. Stop the worrying and even draw up a plan. Even if you did a quick gooogle search on the main topics and thetrain of thought, it would be a start

It is really down to pot luck! What I would suggest is get one of the main models but make sure to get it local and get it guaranteed for a year at least. That way, if things go belly-up, you'll get it fixed. PC World or one of those lads would do the trick. If it is for the PhD, don't go top of the range - all you want is something that lasts three years. Not from the UK, but can I make a suggestion? Ye lucky f**kers get great laptops at 1/2 price we do, so as a long term plan, I would spend £300-400 on the laptop, £50 on an external Hard-disk (for backing-up all your info) and put the rest away for a start on the replacement laptop 2-2 1/2 years down the line or getting broadband. Forget the Mac ... too much hassle interfacing with PCs. And if sh!t hits the fan, I bet the college Computer Helpdesk will not touch a Mac and if they can, will just see it as a hinderance.

Acer or one of the other top brands (Toshiba, Compaq) would do. Dell are ok, but after-sales can be a nightmare. If you do wish to go Dell, go to the Outlet store (just search for outlet on your local Dell site) ... you'll get reconditioned laptops at a discounted price.

At the end of the day, they all come from the same 10-20 factories, just different stickers. 8-)

EV - here is that website for possible conferences. As due dates for submission varies from 3-6months, it might be a good idea to get something local in your area in the timescale (leave the Las Vegas conferences until 2 year mark & your work justifies ya losing the whole stipend at Ceasar's Palace 8-)

http://www.conferencealerts.com/

EV - if ya really are looking where ya should be at, there should be two turntables and a micorphone ha ha ... sorry - Bad Beck reference!
If I knew then what I know now, I would be signing myself up for EVERY possible course possible in your college to help you get the stuff no-one bothers explaining (EndNote, How to present etc.,). You are not expected to have anything really at this stage, except a brief summary of what you have read (in fairness, it'll be 9 months before you get any inkling of an idea of where you are going). But fair dues to ya - your proactivity is admirable. Start taking exact notes of what you have read and do so in either Endnote or even a brief summary report (don't fall into the trap of "Oh that is too important to forget so I won't need to record it").
At this stage, you are just getting to know the area, unless you are continuing from a Masters/work from your degree. So don't rush into the notion of this looks like a good research trail at this stage. Get a better idea and then zone in.
If you really, REALLY want to be proactive, I would reckon on maybe suggesting the submission of a paper to a conference based on your lit review on the 9 mth/year mark and identify possible conferences (the website eludes me now but I will forward it on). It'll be a tangible target to aim for