Badhaircut, indeed there are good students and bad students, in the same way as there are good and bad supervisors. I am certainly not the kind that starts working at lunchtime and leaves at 3.00. I appreciate constructive criticism and I don't think that I would have got an AHRC + two other bursaries prior to that, just because I am good at blinking my eyes around. The point is another: the complete lack of support. I have never presented a paper because I have been encouraged to do so, or done anything else other than reading and writing, because it was suggested by my supervisor. Of course, I am capable of taking initiative by myself, but I think that here we should have clear what the supervisor's role entails - other than criticize (when four times a year, he finds time to meet you!)

I can only recommend you to focus on the positive relationship that you have with other people around and try to build up on that side. I know how difficult it is to see that other people are supported when you are not. Reason tells you to look at all the things that you have achieved, but the irrational part of you starts to question whether you should be there at all. I think that it's healthy to try to focus on your project and on people that may be more helpful and relevant for your future career. xxx

Hi *Pineapple*, I think that I can relate very well with your situation. The positive thing is that I get positive responses from everyone else, even from experts in my field (and my supervisor is not). This gives me the strength to move forward, but as you said, it's very difficult to cope. Psychologically very tiring. Energy that I could channel into more positive aspects of my work. I am myself considering changing uni, fully conscious of the risks of leaving at the end of my 2nd year. On the other hand, there is no alternative for me here.

Thank you all. I recognize my story in yours and it is of great help reading how you managed to cope with this. I feel less lonely and although still very concerned you certainly transmitted me a lot of positive energy. I will be away on fieldowrk for a while and I trust that getting out of the usual routine will help to keep focussed on the right things.

Hi belisarius, your message is of great help and it's great to hear that you managed to go ahead in spite of the problems with your sup. My situation is very similar to yours. It's clear that I am not alone - you have probably red my posts in the 2nd thread- and this give me the strength to go on. I am just tired and I would like a bit of support, but the more I try to sort that problem, the more it become apparent that I will never get it. I need to learn not to focus and the relationship with my s. but only on my research. Have you completed your PhD already?

Thanks also to you Susieb. You are right, there are so many people who struggle to survive that we should be grateful for what we have. I think that it's a great privilege to have the possibility to do research in an area that you like and where you feel you can make a difference. I will be researching abroad for a while, so I trust that the forthcoming months will change my perception of things.
I certainly need to re-assess my current values. I always thought that if you work hard enough - also at building up relationships- you get results sooner or later, but now I am not anymore sure.
Your messages are of much support, so thank you all. I printed them out and keep them in front of me on the desk for an instant injection of positivity!!

Thanks so much to all of you! Cornelia, what you say is so true! When I am away doing fieldwork I realize that I am stupid to let these things to take over, but when I am back after a while the same perverse game start again. I am convinced of the value of what I am doing and I know deep down that I can make it. Nothing as really changed from my Masters and I made it then, I can make it again. The point is that I don't want to struggle all the way through - it's very tiring!- and most importantly, I am more concerned about the afterwards. Academia, especially in my field, is a very small environment and if you have a person like my s. against, you can forget to do anything. cont -

Yes, this is what I am trying to do. It is difficult to keep motivated though. Also this attitude is so unfair and unreasonable...but you are right, there isn't very much else that I can do about it. Thank you for your suggestions.

Hi Smilodon, things are not so easy. My former s. was the best person to supervise me when I started, although our areas of interest coincide only for broad lines. When this person left, my new s. took over, but he's not really an exepert in the subject. Moreover is a very weak character, which explain a lot about his attitude. There is no other choice here. I should change Uni, but for family reasons this is not an option. Also I got funding here and I worked so hard to get it... Also I don't see how to speak with the HoD or HoS would help. If anything it would probably alienate my current s. further. The only thing that I can think about of is to keep as far as possible from them both, but of course this is far from being a good option...

I apologize again. I didn't want to start two threads...I am so desperate that I cannot think straight!

Suddenly what I produce is not enough, not good enough, and I realize that his comments come from my previous s. People in the dept are very nice, appreciative and supportive, but they are not in my field.
I tried to have an open discussion with him, but with zero results. He takes over a month to correct my papers and then does not discuss things directly, just send me the corrections via internal mail! I am in the 2nd year of my PhD and I don't really know how to cope for the time ahead. My former s. is very powerful and if I complain the consequences could be dramatic not only for my studies, but also for my future career. I need a kind word before I sink in my own tears...

I apologize for sending a negative post. People need good examples and positive messages, but I am really struggling to cope with my personal situation. Perhaps someone will remember that I am in the 2nd year of my PhD and that I had problems with my previous supervisor, but I put up with it. When this person left I felt a huge relief, as I always had a very good relationship with my current supervisor (he taught me in my ug courses). However, my former supervisor insisted to be involved in the supervision as external, and here the problem started again and managed to pollute the relationship with my new supervisor. I really struggle to cope with the situation.

Hello everyone! As I am going to be abroad for a while (Christmas break + research) I just wanted to wish you all the very best for Christmas and an even better 2008,full of good research hunting!
I would also like to thank all the people here that bothered to reply to my tantrums and provided suggestions and support. Thank you very much indeed.

I was in the same state last month. I attended a conference - I didn't really want to go to, but it was what I needed. Listening to other people's ideas was refreshing and gave me new energy. What I wrote afterwards was substantially better than what I had written just a few weeks back. I would suggest: Go out there, do some networking, and then start again.

I cannot reveal where I am or where I am from, just in case my supervisor track me down! But I could make an effort if you are Jeremy Irons in disguise!