Last night I went out for a bit of partying (despite feeling yucky with flu but only live once etc). I don't normally drink lots and I got rather erm... inebriated. This morning I remember that when I got back to my friend's house last night I had found some random number in my phone and drunk dialled it, leaving two rather rambling voicemails (my friend said I kept mentioning pi - my party trick is to recite it to 100 decimal places and I also said "I have a PhD!" quite a lot too). No idea whose number it was...

... until started getting flashbacks. I remember talking to a lot of guys and flirting with a lot too but don't remember anyone giving me their number. I remembered giving someone my email address but the pen wouldn't work so I figured it must be him. Oh dear. He must now think I'm a complete fruitcake!

So do I a) ring again and apologise, b) text to say sorry or c) do nothing and hope it fades into obscurity.

Not mean spirited at all, I think the same thing!

Rescue remedy contains brandy, water and various flower extracts. Cheaper to buy a bottle of brandy and have a tot of that instead. It'll have a similar effect.

Well I'm not a current PhD student but I'll say from when I was - I did a 3 year PhD, first year lived near Uni with 3 other housemates (two masters, one mature student). Second year and part of third year lived with my boyfriend (who became ex). THen I moved back in with 4 other housemates (2 PhD students, 2 erasmus students). I started my PhD when I was ... um... 24? Gosh how time flies...

I know exactly what you mean! I found it really strange to adjust - just had been so used to having it constantly in the background and it was such a huge anti-climax. No fanfare, no celebration, just hand it in and went to work the next day.

And yes, I felt ready to party the weekend, so it'll come to you! But what you are feeling is quite normal.

The trick is to wean yourself back into it - so don't just dive straight back in reading cover to cover. Pick through the main points first, familiarise yourself again with the overall structure and how it links together. Gradually build it up bit by bit and it will seem less daunting.

What have you done to try and take control of the situation? Part of the PhD is about becoming an independent researcher - and one of the biggest pitfalls I've seen a lot of complaints on here is that people fail to take enough of their own control. It's as much about managing your supervisor as your supervisor managing you. It's very easy to blame the supervisor without taking responsibility for guiding your own study.

You have little basis for a complaint, at least based on what you have told us. I'm wondering if you however are a litle bit naive about what a PhD is about and aren't taking control of it and expecting your supervisor to do all the management of it. Take ownership and steer your own course.

I don't disagree there is an inherent flaw in the system - academia is often about opinion and interpretation so it stands to reason it's possible examiners may wildly differ. In my examiners report, my internal examiner (whose opinion is worth nothing btw) said he would have failed it. But then his area is completely different to what the thesis was about and requires a different viewpoint. My external said it was good and had some really good and interesting ideas - but he understood the difficulty of doing an interdisciplinary thesis and what the limitations are.

I'm not saying however I think the system should be changed - I don't, I think for the most part it works well. But you are right it's very key to get an external who is "fit for purpose".

I often say that I feel I know less after finishing my Phd than before I started! I think the problem is you end up realising that there is just SO much knowledge out there it becomes overwhelming to the point you see that what you know is only a tiny fraction of what knowledge is out there.

So you're not the only one, don't worry!

I agree, it's really annoying - it's not as if it's some great secret as if you contact the recruiting agency or employer they'll tell you expected salary anyway!

I don't think it's passive aggressive at all and think it was quite reasonable to do pop a note round.

However, I do have to ask this as I lived in a flat and had problems with noise, is the noise actually excessive? The girl who lived in the flat above us used to play music and have TV on and could hear her moving things but it was just normal day to day noise and more the structural building problems than the noise actually being excessive. I got to know her quite well and she would have music or TV on at a "normal" volume.

I do sympathise - I would never live in a flat again.

I didn't publish during my PhD either (I did a mathematical subject). I changed direction quite drastically after my first year so didn't really have time as I was too busy trying to get results and develop on those. Having said that every time I speak to my main supervisor he always says "Are you planning on publishing anything...". The answer is always no (I work in prviate sector now and have no plans on returnining to academia so it's not a problem).

I would say my last point is something to consider on - if you're planning a career in academia it's good to be published. If you're using it as a platform to elsewhere, don't worry so much about it.

The weird thing is I'm actually quite looking forward to turning 30 - I see my 20s as my "uni period" and so want me 30s to be my "work" period.

It's just the things that come with it that make me feel old!

Since I've got home, I've been doing financial planning. We've just got a sharesave at work I'm looking into, reading about transferring my old pension to the new one, looking at where to get an ISA, planning how much to put in different things so I can save a deposit for property.

UGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! These are the sort of things I know a lot of my peers would already have looked at (I'm 29, so no spring chicken) but I always said things like that would make me feel old. I don't want to be old :-(

And in the past month I've made three different types of jam, three types of chutney, mincemeat... need I go on! Nooooo how did this happen?!?!?!?!