Thanks all. I've arranged to meet a couple people I know slightly over the next week but I will be following up on most or all of your suggestions. This is partly why I wouldn't want an academic career because it's difficult trying to form friendships and create a life when moving around for jobs and it gets harder as you get older. It's just not worth it for me.

Congratulations! Always nice to read good news.

I don't keep in contact with anyone from my university undergraduate course (I started the course much later everyone else and so friendships were established by the time I'd started and that was a lifetime ago). Other PhD students lived in or came from the same region as the University but I didn't and mainly worked from home.

I've moved around a bit for short-term research posts. I essentially like my own company (I do need and like a lot of personal space) and am fine but recognise that I've become socially isolated and feel I should start digging myself out of this rut but it's up to me to be more proactive.

Knowing the work was going to have to be done sooner or later worked for me. I knew there would be consequences in doing it later...

Thanks Sneaks and Waddett.

I'm not a big fan of facebook and certainly wouldn't live my life on it (my profile is virtually blank) but I posted to see if anyone wanted to meet up and some got back to me (all people I know or have met socially) but I'm still going to widen my social circle as variety is the spice of life and friends come and go. I'll not rule out any possiblities as life is for enjoying!

Thanks for all the advice.

I know but I hope for your sake your social life is better than mine or the next time I get out will be to collect my pension (which I'll not be entitled to as I lag behind in N.I. contributions!!!). Oh, what we do for an education...

On a positive, I just see this as a way of starting a new more interesting life! Bring it on...

Thanks Batfink. That's another good point, rather than fitting in with the interests of others (and not really doing what I want to do or going where I want to go) perhaps I'd be better forming something and letting interested parties join that. Life's too short to be miserable.

I do look very young Mac but sadly am not.

Slow down, don't be so hard on yourself - you are under real pressure and putting yourself under additional pressure which isn't helpful. I'd strongly urge you to contact the counselling department at your university and talk to someone about your situation and how you feel. This person should let you talk freely, letting you think more clearly which should give you some perspective. Please make that call or appointment today. What harm can it do?

Thanks Smoobles, I agree and that's great to know. I just need to find out what hobby or sport best suits me.

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Thanks. You've hit the nail on the head to an extent, I think part of the problem is I have been saying no and if I was honest I don't really connect that well with those I'm friendly with (we just want different things). I think I should be thinking of some new sport or hobby as it'll be challenging, doing something for itself and hopefully a way of making friends naturally. Yes, people definitely have their comfort zone and don't welcome new friendships easily. Personally, I love meeting new people, don't mind who is in the company, as long as they don't make trouble, as it keeps things fresh and interesting.

I tried those friend findings sites a while back and it was absolutely terrible. Hands up in that I'm socially isolated but I don't lack social skills. I had people telling me (effectively a stranger) a detailed version of their life story to date and although I was just looking to meet some people with common interests the underlying current was people were out looking for love (masked as making friends) and they assumed I was in it for the same reasons. I also found people either didn't attempt to make friends (the face doesn't fit type thing) or they were trying to be best friends with everyone.

Thanks a lot for the suggestions.

======= Date Modified 23 Mar 2012 09:00:19 =======
Any suggestions for making new friends? Having moved around, experienced some life changes I find I've no real friends and can't get out for a night! Sorry, but building up a friends list on Facebook and chatting online doesn't do it for me.

I'm not a young pup (about half way through my working life!) which doesn't help. To top it all a few friends have gone a little strange...I'll admit to being busy with the thesis and so haven't been out

The point is I need to widen my social circle. Any suggestions that work?

At two interviews I've been placed in a situation where the interviewers wanted me to start ASAP. On both occasions I've had to say I had to do right by my current employer and can't dump them in it. One of the jobs I had was only a two week temporary post but it was hectic (taking calls from students on receiving their results) and had I not fronted up it would have put others under extreme pressure. My loyalty will always be with the person or persons currently paying my wage. I had hoped these potential employers would use wit and realise if I was prepared to do right by my current employers I would most likely do right by them but not so. One was actually honest and left a message saying the reasons I didn't get the job was they couldn't wait two weeks for me but admired my stance.

I'm extremely truthful at interview (seriously) and it has went against me and so I'm not sure if it pays to be too truthful any more.

Thanks Pamw and thanks for letting us know. I did wonder how you were getting on and since I know you went through the mill for a long time it's good to know things have improved for you. Great news and I'd be a bit like you I'd like a mixture of stuff, if possible.

Thanks Lindalou83. I can only hope!