Hi Beverley,

I haven't actually found an official policy, as far as I can tell, there seems to be no such thing. I do respect the academic concerned, so would be loathe to place them in an awkward position. However, we all know that these things are rarely rational (?!).

As an undergrad, I'd completely understand the rules, as staff are involved in your academic progress. As it is, I only interact with this lec. in a social setting, and that means the boundaries seem to be becoming blurrier. I think rules would be hard to enforce when people are consenting adults and there is no conflict of interest, i.e., them marking your work.

Hey.

Olivia, I see what you're saying, as rules (unofficial or otherwise) normally exist for good reasons. However, since most of us spend significant amounts of time with other students/academics, it also seems that it should be acknowledged there is room for flexibility providing both parties can be sensible about things.

I don't know how realistic it is to suppress things - tried that by avoiding said academic for most of last term, but now general weirdness has kicked off again. Oh well.

The academic in question blows very hot and cold, i.e., exchanged numbers the other week, but this week has almost made a point of being distant. I don't want to push the issue, as it's unacknowledged, but others have picked up on it, which makes me think I'm not completely delusional.

As I said, the biggest problem is not the fact they are an academic. There are other issues going on, so just thinking what to do about it. Confrontation could be risky. Was just voicing it really, to try and get it out of my system, or rather, see if it makes any sense written down.

Hey Bellaz. Can totally see where you're coming from, and surprised the lec. didn't refrain from marking her work, and pass it onto somebody else. His professional reputation has probably been tainted, as we all know how small the academic community is, and it's not immune from gossip.

Hi Bellaz,

They have nothing to do with my work, and likely won't. They are, however, a new-ish staff member, so from their perspective, it might look unprofessional when trying to make a good impression in a new job. Over the year though, they have socialized a lot, and recently become more open.

That's a shame about your friend, esp. if they were both mature about it. I guess I can see how the marking-conflict might arise, but in our dept., it's anonymous at undergrad/ma level, presumably to avoid bias etc.

I should also point out that nothing has occurred between said staff member and I, it is me that has the attraction, and one week their behaviour is rather receptive, whilst the next, it's distant. It is complicated, but the main reason for that, strangely, has little to do with them being staff. Don't really want to say too much on a public forum. Just interested in how these situations are handled, and what, if anything, to do about it. As I am here for at least another two years, it's in nobody's interest to become entangled in a drama.

Hey. Thanks for replying.

Yes, the socializing mostly takes the form of drinking, and with the younger staff in the dept. - must have been similar for you? That tends to be conducive to an atmosphere in which personal information is divulged, and sometimes, flirting takes place.

The discreteness thing seems sensible, as, even if there is no conflict of interest, it might seem that way to some. As most of us are in our mid-late twenties, and the younger staff a similar age, it does seem normal that friendships, and sometimes, relationships may develop - as after all, these are the people you spend most time with.

2. I used to think the latter was a no-go, but I can see how it might occur if said staff-member had nothing to do with you academically. Or, do you just ignore it, and put your feelings on hold until graduation? I can't say I'm entirely comfortable with this new-found friendliness, and really don't want to do something irrational.

Sensible responses welcomed. This is the first time something like this has happened to me, and it's all rather unnerving right now.

Quick question(s):

1. Do any of you socialize with the staff in your dept.? If yes, do you think there is a potential for blurring of boundaries? i.e., becoming too sociable, or, and this is where it becomes tricky, possible dating?

Thanks again. I suppose with a PhD being, in general, more isolating than previous work, any issue becomes magnified.

I can deal with the funding situation, as I'm fortunate to be able to self-fund. It is less about that, and more about feeling valued, and academically capable, which at times, is anything but the case. We all deal with that to an extent.

I will look at other options though. Def. want to do this project, I just can't deal with the internal biases and pettiness.

I do control the direction of my thesis. So, that's not a problem.

The lec. responsible for the funding fiasco just doesn't seem a nice person generally. He told one of my friends that her PhD topic would make her unemployable. It's a constant stream of unprofessional comments, but he is quite highly regarded in the dept., so complaining would make life unecessarily difficult.

The new sup. is actually excellent, and the plan was to transfer to him eventually anyway (reason for change is that mine retired this year, but was still taking on PhD's, hence, being told I could remain with her).

As an individual, my sup. is supportive, it is the dept. that is proving to be the problem. If they regard you as being below average, despite getting the grades, it's a blow to your self-confidence.

I do feel misled about the supervision, and I'm beginning to realize that my options are not limited. I'd feel bad complaining to my sup., as he is a genuinely nice, supportive person.

I mean, what more to do, compared to others? The others applying are not substantially better than me grade-wise. There is only a difference of one or two marks between us all. One of them did worse at undergrad than I did. The other doesn't have a first philosophy degree (but did well on the MA). It makes you feel undervalued.

I wonder about the implications of transferring universities, as I do want an academic career, and with it being a small community, it is in my long-term interests not to cause a fuss.

Hi,

Thanks for that, I know it's not a huge thing. My ranking said: "Good - showing potential for doctoral research." The notes on the form say a higher ranking should be used for those who came in the top 10% of the class. The next one up was "Very good - showing high potential etc" - it's just demoralizing. What more am I supposed to be doing at this point?

The same lecturer has also made comments about the MA module grades. When one of my friends did better than everybody on a module, he said, openly: "you would never believe who got that mark given her usual level." It is one thing to think it, another to say it, as these remarks, whilst apparently innocuous, do get back to people, and it can be really demoralizing.

I think I could easily transfer elsewhere as a self-funded student, but I don't see it worth the hassle. Now I'm resigned to getting on with it, and getting away from the negative influences. I can't be the only one disillusioned with the back-stabbing, surely.