Hi Chrisolinski, something similar happened to me at a department symposium recently, so I can empathise completely. I just clammed up and everything went spinny, even tho I deliver lectures, hae given papers before etc, no problem, even had people comment on how good I was at it! Being in my own department, delivering to the top people in my field - who I really respect - really flipped me out. I also got quite paranoid and ashamed afterwards, the whole thing felt like a major calamity.

I agree with previous posters who say preparation and a good night's sleep are key. I had already given my paper at another conference, and just practiced it through the night before the , only to realise at that point that I really did not like it any more. I was away from home so had no laptop/printer and just had to read it as it was: My big chance to impress the big cheeses down the swanny... so I felt. I had also been under an awful lot of stress in my personal life and was feeling low because of that, I don't think this helped my frame of mind. Are you ok after the break up? Could there be some residue from that situation?

I hope you're ok, this will pass, and the comments you had were mostly very positive so I wouldn't worry about how you've made yourself or the department look. I'd defo take the training if it's offered, that sounds really useful for anyone.

======= Date Modified 11 Sep 2010 10:49:51 =======
======= Date Modified 11 Sep 2010 10:42:57 =======
AAAAAaaaaaahhh, what a character Sharky sounds to have been: a cross-dressing cage fighter. No connection to Katy Price by any chance?

I'm really sorry you've lost him Algae, and perhaps the pond is the best place for the new one. It'll be less of a reminder for you and more sociabe for the fish.

If it's any consolation this post has inspired me to get a fish - probably a gold fish when I've finished re-vamping my flat. I think I may call it Algaequeen.

Thanks Sneaks. I think it's more dramatic than that, his account has completely disapeared, and what makes that even odder to me is that I tried to delete my account about 6 moths ago and couldn't, the closest I could get was to have it go dormant, no deletion allowed.

Sorry Sneaks, my firend is not the marrying kind... In fact I did suspect facebook of being jealous of his status as a very popular and much featured 'hot gay bloke with a beard' on that particular FB interest group. He's my old friend from about 20 years ago, he used to live in my parent's house when he was an undergrad and we've stayed good pals ever since.

======= Date Modified 10 22 2010 00:22:04 =======
My friend's facebook account has been shut down and he can't open another with the same details. They haven't told him why, he just tried to log on and they'd removed him - he's had to open a completely different account. I find all this really odd - I'm quite suspicious of FB anyhow, maybe they found out about his left-wing undergrad activities? Do any of you have any idea why they might do this, are they spying on us and weeding us out?

I got one too...

Hi all, I got a bit dispondent today because as I was improving my chapter by making the changes my supervisor suggested, it struck me prteyy hard that although my chapter is going to be good, it wouldn't be as great if I had no guidance. What happens when we finish and need to write articles and books all by our selves? How do we improve? How do we make sure our work is top quality? I'd like to be able to be this good on my own - does that happen at some point?

Thanks for your thoughts folks :-)

I would just LOVE to move to Australia! Just been messaging my dear old friend who now lives in Sydney - I have loads of Aus friends. But I think I may be a bit too old, isn't there an aged 44 cut off point, I'd hvae to go in the next three years. And with that thought, I'll get going on the wrting I have to do...

======= Date Modified 07 Sep 2010 16:43:05 =======
I walked a mile and half to the supermarket and back and have been painting my living room - it's fabulous PhD procrastination. Does that count? No throbbing arms though.

My doc says my weight is ok, but that I could lose the few extra kilos. HHmmmm, she reckons that because my diet is ok, I'd need to up my exercise :-( Currently, I can't be bothered. I walk a lot, about 15 miles per week, and do 25 mins of resistence and stretching exercises at home a few times a week. I feel all right, although a photo of me taken from behind in a pencil skirt last week did surprise me: J-Lo eat your heart out - I really ought to buy cardigans that fit properly across the back too. Damn you Zara with you super-skinny Spanish sizes.

Can anyone tell me why my paintwork looks all uneven and blotchy? Am using a roller

I've just had a meeting with my sup, and he's really pleased with the chapter half I wrote - says he likes what I'm doing with the material and how I'm handling the 'issues' therein, however, there are some things wrong with my writing, I tend to repeat stuff without really knowing I'm doing it- saying the same thing in different ways, and my sentences can be a bit round the houses. I've worked pretty hard on my writing, my grammar is good, and style has got better, but it's like I can't see this stuff at the time, although a break from writing a piece does allow me to see its faults more readily. I just wonder, do you think style is something you can nurture past a certain point, or is it something some of us are just born with? I'd like it to come more readily and 'naturally' I suppose, so I don't have to wait a week before seeing it properly.

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

Sneaks, I love it. That is exactly where we would go!

======= Date Modified 04 Sep 2010 03:15:22 =======
Here's one for the supervisors:

Rip it Up (Orange Juice)

When I first saw you
Something stirred within me
I wondered of you'd bare the pain
If I could've helped you
I would've helped you
Rip it up and start again

Rip it up and start again
Rip it up and start again
I hope to God you're not as dumb as you make out
I hope to God
I hope to God
And I hope to God I'm not as numb as you make out
I hope to God
I hope to God

And when I next saw you
I had feedback for you
But my arms stuck like glue to my sides
If I could've helped you
I would've helped you
But I'd choke rather than swallow my pride
Rip it up and start again

Rip it up and start again
Rip it up and start again
I hope to God you're not as dumb as you make out
I hope to God
I hope to God
And I hope to God I'm not as numb as you make out
I hope to God
I hope to God

And there was times I'd take my pen
And feel obliged to start again
I do profess
That there are things in life
That one can't quite express
You know me I'm acting dumb-dumb
You know this scene is very humdrum
And my favourite song's entitled 'boredom'

Rip it up and start again
I said rip it up and start again
I said rip it up and rip it up and rip it up and rip it up and rip it up and start again



Hardly had to change it at all! I think Edwyn my have a double life...

I feel I must add that this does not apply to my current supervisor.

======= Date Modified 04 Sep 2010 02:40:45 =======
He was my first love! AAaaaaahhhh treasured memories, I think it was this song and 'Be My Wife' that pulled me in head over heels, I still dream of our wedding day, we'd spend his last years together on some groovy space-craft.

Hey Natassia, I saw Judith Butler speak once and I wasn't too impressed, a bit up her own I thought. Although having said that, she was very good, but just not amazing, which is what I always expect when I see a big name. What a lot of pressure that must be.

I'd have David Bowie, and he'd look all thoughtful like this: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ixHivTtBGAo/SoSI3ieAn2I/AAAAAAAAAvE/ebc5BI5s-DM/s400/david+bowie3.jpg when we had supervisory meetings. Then after reading my stuff he'd sing this to me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbpMpRq6DV4 and we'd run off together to live on the moon, or similar space-like destination.

Either that or Roddy Frame, I'd like to ask where he got the inspiration for the lyrics of 'Somewhere in my Heart': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSy2_VOxAlM&feature=related


OOOoooooorrrrrrrr for my third PhD, when these two are finished, Oprah Winfrey because I think she may be the second coming, but just hasn't let on yet. I'd like to ask her about life the universe and everything. She'd probably franchise me as a mulitnational world aid type business, and that could be very fullfilling.

that's hilarious, amde me laugh out loud. Maybe you should send it to the Guardian Ed section, and then you could answer question 5 with 'I'm considering taking up some opportunities in journalism'.