Overview of Heidi

Recent Posts

Please someone say something..anything to help me
H

Thank you purpleflower xx It is a new day - you have to open up the curtains to let the light come in - and that is what I am going to do. First job - contacting the university - I shall report back tonight to let you all know how I got on - fingers and toes crossed for me. On a brighter note, my daughter slept like a new born baby badger last night - which is good! Thank you xxx

Please someone say something..anything to help me
H

Thank you - I have actually just written to the pro-vice chancellor of research - the graduate school have been pretty unhelpful to date - so I have laid it all out - and asked for a tiny bit more time. I pointed out the number of publications I have written for the university, the teaching years, etc - and indeed how much I love my University. In the morning I will give him a call once he has had a chance to have a think about my situation - and then either way I need to get myself together. I just need to keep saying...I can do this. Thank you for your thoughts and support. I am literally amazed that anyone can ever hear me. I have felt so ashamed of not being able to hold my family together that I have not spoken to anyone about it. So thank you. Thank you.

Please someone say something..anything to help me
H

Finally, I am not sure if my original reply was delivered. It has not popped up on the screen. The essence of it was - thank you for your kindness and care. I am truly humbled. I just needed a little help - even just to be heard. I will try and start thinking with my head over the next couple of months: starting with speaking with the dean tomorrow to request an extra eight weeks. if that is not successful then working out a daily amount of words to achieve - and remembering why I am doing this - for my daughter. I will also put my trust in my lawyer - he can handle my husband. I will speak to a counsellor to help empower me to start to be a lioness for my cub - and i will try and let someone in. Thank you. I am overwhelmed by your help. I will follow all the advice - and have edited! Goodness I am a plonker at the moment. Thank you.

Please someone say something..anything to help me
H

Thank you, I just need to keep breathing! I will call the research dean tomorrow and explain the situation. Failing that I shall sit down and work out how many words a day I need to get written - and rely on the lawyer to protect my family. My daughter just needs love and cuddles - I have plenty of those to give her. I will book in with a counsellor to get myself more empowered - things will get better. I am sure of it. Its just been horrible. Thank you, thank you. Your kindness tonight has been so appreciated.

Please someone say something..anything to help me
H

======= Date Modified 29 Mar 2012 21:12:23 =======
I am writing this because I have never felt so alone in all my life. So here is my story. I have been writing a PhD in humanitarian aid and logistics part-time over the last six years. I had a professor who used me as a publication donkey....the consequence is I now have 18 refereed publications - I lectured part-time at University - which meant I could not be awarded a PhD on publication (you only need 6!). Three years ago on Christmas eve in the snow, I was on a train and it broke down. There I met my husband, who at the time was a Royal Marine Officer who had been blown up in Afghanistan and was suffering from post traumatic stress. Anyway, we married and moved to be near his family. My husband started a new career - and I continued the write up of my PhD. However during the last two years my mother and brother died - and in the need for family I decided to have a baby girl - who is beautiful (in the hope my mother would see her before she died). Basically, out of the 120,000 word PhD (its a big one!) I have only 35,000 words left to write up. All the primary data is done etc. I have seven weeks until the deadline. This deadline cannot be moved. Two weeks ago, my husband changed the locks to our home (literally out of the blue - we have never even had an argument). Left me holding our ten month old baby with literately nowhere to go. Our daughter was really sick with croup - it was horrible. His family is very wealthy and powerful. They chose to put me into a bedsit in the middle of nowhere - and now I am literally exhausted, drained, and feel like my heart has been taken. I cannot sleep. I am so frightened. My husband says he wants complete control of us and me. He told me not to see a lawyer - so clearly I had to. The lawyer says - do not worry we will be fine - and he will help protect putting a roof over my daughters head. However, with only seven weeks left to go on my PhD - I just cannot think straight. The words are jumping around. But the thing is, I know that the best thing I can now do is finish my PhD - because then I will always be able to support my daughter financially. All I want to do is curl up and cry - but there is no time. I wondered if anyone has been through something traumatic and still managed to get to the end of their PhD. Please someone help me find some courage - because I am lonely and frightened. I know nobody on the island I live on. And every time I look at my daughter I feel like such a failure for not being able to keep her family together. Please if anyone is listening...please just say something. Thank you Heidi.