Oh, Ady! Well, here's a happy start to 2012 then. You're done, you've reached a rare milestone. Can nobody take this away from you - ever! (Unless you did it at the University of Great Britain on the Channel Islands that is...) May you have many more such feelings of elation! Heidy :]

Sorry - part 2: And speaking from experience, what annoys me most when I am trying to get through to a friend is when she rebuffs my attempts, staying calm and friendly but ultimately intransigent. Even worse, when she remains tight-lipped, thanking me with a big smile for my "kind words" - and then listing the same good sides to what she is doing over and over again in a mixture of impenetrable naivety and optimism. Never mentions her hardships and never talks about the downsides. At most, she says cryptically that "nothing is perfect but overall I really enjoy it" and leaves it at that. Deep down inside she may be boiling with anger and insecurity at my comments, but she never shows it on the outside, making me question my assumptions after our chats. So, my dear Huhu, grow-a-pair: Meet up with your friend, regard her as a non-PhD holder and as another imperfect human being, with faults just like anyone else, but with a great support system. Listen carefully and calmly to what she is saying and when you think that she is starting to rub it in, retort in a calm, repetitive way and with a smile - just as you may at that conference you are going to. Do not take what she says personal - this is not the time to read much into seemingly harsh comments. Please do not hold an honest conversation with her about your studies at any stage, no matter how friendly she may suddenly become. Do not give her any sincere advice about studying abroad (at least nothing that she could not get from a uni prospectus). Most importantly, for the sake of your own sanity during this difficult time, and for that of your research and your presentation, keep that hag (;]) - whether it's your inner voice that has taken on the shape of your old friend, or indeed that super-achiever of an old friend - at an arm's length, playing a mixture of dumb, amused and very optimistic. Dont' forget, she does not have the first idea what it's like to be in your shoes - and your job is to keep it like that. Do not spoil the horrors of doing a PhD for her, ;]! Keep your head up, Heidy x .

Hi Huhu, Sorry for the long reply! It seems to me that your friend is saying things that strike a chord with you, things that you are thinking about yourself. Remember that PhD students are perfectionists and are probably more used to succeeding at what they set out to achieve than many other people. That may bode well for getting onto a PhD but not necessarily for doing one, especially during the difficult middle part of your research. Question: what exactly makes her your friend - especially right now? And why do you want to handle her with kid gloves? Are you afraid/in awe of her? Or rather jealous? We may be grown ups but that does not mean that we do not have a nemesis, each one of us. (Mine is Beyonce right now! The woman scares me…) I think you are also putting all your fears into one basket: the unease about the conference and your presentation, about the current progress in your PhD, about your friend's comments and her achievements, together with your impatience regarding your private life, and your fear of failure. Try to separate one from the other, and try to deal with them one by one - why not with the help of supportive, fellow PhD students or a counselling service? (There's no shame in asking for help!) Please, don't forget that no-bo-dy is perfect. It's always easier to impress people that are yearning for what one has achieved already; think of youngsters and how their eyes light up when they see a grown-up in his/her shiny new car (probably leasing for the next 20 years...). Your friend may easily impress you as a yet unmarried, childless PhD student but not necessarily a working, married mum of two+ children. Instead of listing all her achievements, how about asking yourself how well she achieves all of them on a daily basis? Further, your friend is not doing a PhD herself yet. Who knows, she may sail through the process. Alternatively, she may find it very difficult to cope in country B at some stage. After all, one should not count one's chickens before they are hatched! So when you meet her, do remember that you are talking to someone who, as regards doing a PhD, is still wet behind her ears and nowhere near as experienced as you are - simple truth. Further, ask yourself whether you are interpreting your friend's comments correctly or whether you are just very aware of your insecurities right now, pointing your finger at her, rather than at the upcoming conference, your probably weak(er) support network or your impatience with yourself. Without belittling what you wrote, is there a chance that you are reading more into what she is saying than there is to it? What makes you think that she is not impressed with you in some way? Otherwise, why would she, a woman as successful and arguably busy as you have described her, remain in touch with you? If she wanted to have a good laugh or sneer, she could watch Gok’s “How to look good naked” on TV or go to the theatre. However, if she is really the source of your stress, then as harsh as it may sound: My dear Huhu, please grow a pair! Don't let her walk all over you, especially during this infuriating, difficult time in your studies. What is happening to you now is a good lesson for your life anyway. As a PhD holder/academic, you will always meet people that will not mince their words about your research, your choice of methodology, country, life style, partner, age for having a baby, salary, etc. Further, what she is saying to you as a PhD student, is what many emigrants hear from clever clogs back home: "Why did you leave for country C? If you had stayed here, or gone to country A/B, you could be like me or like your cousin or our best friend XYZ now. Etc, etc." At least, you are getting a PhD out of your efforts! So, deal with it like the strong, grown-up immigrant and PhD student you are - head on. I have been on both sides of conversations like the one you described. And speaking from experience, what annoys me most w

Thank you so much - it worked! If it weren't for the darn word limit, I would mention each one of you in my acknowledgement section!! :] Heidy

Hi! I am despairing in front of my PC. I'd like to do the following: Switch between the MS Word 2007 formatting styles Portrait and Landscape for my text. Portrait (i.e. the default format that you get when you open a Word doc) for the text, and landscape for a one-page table, to be continued by the remainder text in Portrait format. The table does not fit into the portrait format and forms part of the main text unfortunately. Do you have any idea how I can achieve that? Any comments would be utmost welcome!! Cheers, Heidy :-(

Great idea! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfNm8tceL8M

I know the feeling, CathS. Almost there and yet nowhere... But do hang in there, it'll be worth it! Think of the alternative, giving up may give you a lift for a day or two but a year later you may feel very down for not having stuck it out. You may want to take a little break though - watch TV for 30 mins, eat some choccie biscuits and - most importantly - talk to a friend on a regular basis (every 2 or 3 days) reporting the state of your progress to him/her. That should give you some perspective and a means to vent some frustration. Go on - it's the final lap! Heidy :]