thanks all... am considering a diet... but haven't got a job yet. so i can't properly fund one. i'm also considering going vegetarian for most of the week and seeing if it makes any difference. currently am on one main meal a day and drinking lots of water. before i just ate too much - stress maybe. i was nibbling all the time. i seem to be putting on weight... because clothes that once fell off are now tight. that said am trying to strike a balance between being a little girl and being an all rounded woman and proud of it. i have no problem with weight as long as it is evenly distributed. when it camps on my stomach.... it makes me feel really down.

i also try to work out but have not been able to keep up with this. i usually do two weeks and then give up.

any tips from disciplined people on how to juggle diet and stick to exercise?

if you want a decent job, try starting off abroad where they respect hard work. you're not gonna get your papers respected here in the UK. most people will be either jealous, angry that you have made it and they haven't and won't be able to see beyond their selfishness. my experience anyway.......

i haven't done my viva yet, but just yesterday i had to hide my qualifications to get a job in a retail store... take heart. things will look up in no time.

Rick - males are lucky in that way.

Pineapple - i feel exactly the same way. we're exactly the same save for the fact that you have a boyfriend. i have none. :-( and the thought or relearning the dating game is doing my head in. plus.. i have no savings. have a 500 pounds debt. ( i know its small but its still debt. :-( )

Phdtodo - i was always felt that i was signing away my twenties... now i feel very doomed. in reality i regret the social implications, but when i look back am glad i never married anyone i met up til this moment. that would have been a bad mistake.

Rick - i will try your method to keep my sanity. lol.

am in this same situation. worse still i do not know my examiners. :(

Hi all,

Has anyone gained weight during their phd and managed to lose it?

Ok.. it's been five years and my body would have changed but i have really gained a tummy which got worse during writing up and need to lose it asap.

Has anyone successfully lost weight around the stomach. What did you do? Did it work?

J.

Congratulations Sue! I'm so happy for you.

Try to take sometime off and just do nothing. Sorry about your dog. Whatever happens.. take time off to recover from phd stress and all other stress that comes along with it.

i'm with Walminski.. on this one. quiting after the sacrifice you've made will only make you feel bad.

have you considered allowing yourself the option of quiting slowly whilst keeping the option of getting back to it if it turns out to be the right thing?

you can achieve this by:

1) taking time off. go to a counsellor and describe how you feel. 'hopefully' you will be diagnosed with something, maybe depression. although being sick is not ideal... you can use this to get sick leave and go and see your family as well as make more funds to keep you going during the phd as well as take a break from it all to gain a new perspective to things whilst at the same time, stopping the phd clock. this way you have a open cheque - if after 6 months off (that's how much i'd take and believe me not much will have changed in the area) you feel like coming back.. you can come back refreshed. if not, you can leave being sure that it is what you want.

2) no one can argue will illness either way. whether you have to tell your supervisor you're leaving for a while or you have to tell the whole world you're leaving the phd forever. leaving something that is making you sick will only make you look sensible - not like a failure. am not saying its easy.

a sick note bought me an extra year i needed after suffering from depression following 3 years of bad supervision after which i needed to restart my thesis as a new phd, allowing me two years including the write-up year to write. in my case i wanted the phd. did i feel like quitting? 90% of the time, but there's that part of me that still believed i could do it so i hang in there. i had also sacrificed too much. left my country and family, finances etc. so i know how you feel. i did hand in in the end. the thought of the experience still makes me cringe. but now, whatever happens at the viva at least if i don't get it, it is not because i quit and did not hand in my thesis. it will be because i did my best under the circumstances and it was not good enough. that to me is easier to live with. you cannot do better than your best. and doing your best is what you owe to yourself. no one has a right to expect more from you.

all the best.

all the best!(up)

thanks Tricky. he's hardly at the school as he is part-time. so calling him is not an option. no one will pick.

cc-ing the letter sounds a bit drastic. a meeting might be the way forward. after all its all that has worked in the past. am contemplating emailing him again to ask for a meeting to discuss this issue. i will also send another email to the school secretary. if i hear nothing at the end of this coming week, i will contact the director of research.

re giving him names.. i asked the secretary of school about this and she said that's its my supervisor's role to find examiners.. not mine. another thing is, if i suggest a name and the viva does not go well, i take full responsibility. so even though i have a few names in mind, i prefer to hear his suggestions first and then if am unhappy with them, i'll suggest mine at my own risk.

another thing that may be causing this delay is that my supervisor has not kept up with research as he also works in industry and makes more money there. therefore he has no incentive to attend to his research students.

what do you think? am i doing the right thing or being too quick or too slow to act?

this was also the same case with my thesis. i acknowledged in a page or so the existence of the similar thesis and stated its strengths and weaknesses and how mine was different. i also came up with a different theoretical framework. our findings were similar, but mine more convincing and more novel... i hope. :-)

i think this is a good thing rather than a bad thing. its gives you a model to follow or improve. key thing is you must get a hold of this thesis and read it word for word. and then distinguish your work.

all the best.(up)

my supervisor is still as silent as ever and has not responded to my email 5 days later. do you think i should:

1) send a reminder

2) keep my cool and wait for next week to pass and send a reminder if i have not heard anything.

3) email the secretary of the school who is also silent on the issue again.

4) email the director of studies in the hope that he will chase supervisor?

am afraid this last option might strain relations between me and my supervisor. its been 3 weeks now since i submitted.

i think it is best to be patient. (i know you have been patient enough already! but just hang in there and keep reminding them.)

the legal road will only turn the school against you and should only be used when the school has already turned against you and there is no other alternative course of action.

I worry for you because of your attitude shown above. it's probably this same thing that makes your supervisor say you should give up. you may have been struggling balancing, but when you get to writing up you need to change your priorities and give more time to your phd. writing up is harder than you will ever imagine. its the hardest stage of the phd! my suggestion is you can only continue if you are COMMITTED to getting the phd. am not saying if you think you are interested.. but if you really want it. phd and academia do not necessarily go together and only you knows why you enrolled. if the reason you enrolled still inspires you, you should continue.

re transferring to another uni - this will depend on how cooperative your supervisor is. if they are definitely going to fail you, there is no need insisting on being with them. however, if you also don't plan on changing the attitude above, moving to another uni will only result in the same complaints. it is your phd and it is up to you to give confidence to your supervisor.

i speak from experience of having a supervisor team say my work was rubbish. i changed my supervisors twice, restarted after 3 years and did the final two years away from the uni part-time. i have handed in now and am expecting my viva soon and my latest supervisor is quite confident i should be able to pass.

what i can say is:

1) decide whether you want it and are committed to doing whatever you have to do ( financial and emotional) to get it and whether you are going to believe in yourself - and not in what everyone else has to say about your ability.

2) if you want it, do what you have to do to remain in this uni. starting at another sets you back timewise.

3) try to appease your supervisor. ask them what you can do to raise the standard of your work and do it.

4) be prepared that they may already have made their mind up about your inability to meet the phd standard (mine had!) and therefore keep looking at other unis for supervisor who can agree to a transfer for academic (is your research better done at another location?) reasons.

5) start liaising with new uni while you prepare a decent draft to allow your supervisor to judge your work.

6) if after handing in, your supervisor is still complaining, contact director of research asking for new supervisor on academic grounds. at this point you really need to be showing that you have addressed all the committees recommendations and you have the ability but your supervisor is probably not the right one for you on ACADEMIC grounds such as methodology etc. don't cite personal conflicts. academics protect each other and they will gang up and turn against you.

7) write to the dean of school and discuss in CONFIDENCE your options and at this time if you have found a potential academic in the school, talk to them about being your supervisor. be prepared that your dean may support your supervisor. (they did in my case!)

8) book appointment and prepare a presentation of your good work and present to potential supervisor. show them you are phd standard and it would be easy to supervise you as a phd. ( you need to be on ground for this!)

9) hopefully they should agree to supervise subject to a transfer being approved by the school.

10) determine not to repeat mistakes of the past for instance: a) being complacent with feedback. b) missing deadlines c) handing in substandard work 4) working with a supervisor who is aiming for an MPhil while you are aiming for a phd.

sorry i have been a bit harsh on the attitude part. it's because it's key. if you address it, you are on your way to solving this problem and getting that phd. if you don't, there is no point at all in continuing. no one wants to supervise a student who does not really want a phd

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take a month off and come back to it fulltime at the start of December!

that'd be my advice. :-)

i was very afraid of my thesis post submission but one day i read 55 pages of it and found very few 'perfectionist' typos (commas and that) nothing major. i remember adding a word seconds before submission and sweating as i read it later. thankfully it fet in properly.

after that i drifted away from it all.

thinking back..... i feel like my work is shallow sometimes. but whenever i read it, it becomes pretty obvious that that's actually not true - its pretty good. my supervisor also agrees its an original contribution to knowledge and says my discussion chapter is my strongest. so am a bit happy and banking on that. i can understand your concerns with yours in that respect. but.. i once watched a viva video of a person with a weak discussion and they passed with minor corrections and were given an opportunity to rewrite it.

my new concern has been my ability to actually talk about my thesis.

i have never talked about the argument in my thesis. never! i always shyed away from it because i was never sure about it. so for my viva i need to learn by heart the definition of some things and practice how to articulate them. thinking about this just makes me numb.

for now i have decided to take it easy before i get my dates. after that i will see my viva as any other oral exam and really learn my stuff. after spending 5 years on it am not allowing myself to jinx it with panic.

so panic is not an option for me on the day! i just believe i will pass! whether that is true or false, its what i need to believe to get through this without sinking into depression or getting a nervous breakdown!

all the best!

am off the whole week. Yipee!!! you should do the same. sleep and allow your brain to recover from the stress of writing up!

i have sent the email... :-) maybe it helps to show am thinking about it at half past one in the morning. lol.

fingers crossed!

i will also email the admin. :)

thanks all............

hugs to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!