am so afraid of what you said about publishing. because my supervisor keeps taking me back and forth, i find that i get more fulfillment from publishing - which is a dangerous place to be in. i probably put more into publishing that into my thesis. i think constant critique is the cause of this. with publishing at least something out there thinks my work is great. that motivates me. thats said, before i get feedback from supervisors i will try and send off the two papers and then fully concentrate on my thesis til submission.

tomorrow i plan to work from home so i should be online most of the day. hope your work is going well.

hello Lara. its always great to hear from you.

i just noticed i wrote 2pm instead of 2am. wonder where my mind was. anyhow, time for me to clock out now. i feel a bit stressed. i've managed a bit of work. i didn't finish incorporating the summaries. i guess it's the deadline that's getting to me and all that has to be done before then. i hope this PhD is the hardest thing i'll ever do in my life. not prepared to take on anything harder.

thanks Cakegirl.

wow Lara! an allnighter? i remember doing a few after i failed my first year upgrade. i hated those moments. i'll probably clock out at around 2pm, my new sleeping time, and try my hardest to be up by 8am tomorrow for final polishing before i send off this draft to my supervisor. my supervisor will not be happy that am bombarding him with work, but anyway, that's what he's there for. after that am gonna focus on finishing publications 2 and 3 which i have put off for a while. am really looking forward to that, because they are in my broader research area and so i'll have a break from thinking about my thesis. if only for a week or so.

thanks Lara. i've actually had a flip through myself. not bad at all. i noticed i got lazy on the times. so i'll remedy that.

today i worked from about 3pm and am still at it. will clock out later.

the going is tough, but worth every moment, especially when you see a chapter growing.

you know that feeling when you know that you are writing the original part of your thesis, am enjoying that right now.

off for a cuppa.

am incorporating the summaries now. i feel numb. just read through page 1 of the chapter am writing and thought, if i had an option i would be out there in the park!

anyhow, am taking a cup of tea and typing away. i want to see if after forcing myself i can actually meet my 9th June deadline.

am in humanities - if that makes a difference.

in the last three months i have found that even when i meet my deadlines, my supervisor keeps taking me back to stuff. my reaction to deadlines has also changed for one of being the person who always meets deadlines to going numb before deadlines and not being able to work at all til after the deadline - especially if it is my supervisor's deadline. am ok with my own deadlines. in terms of hour many hours you put in, i have found mine to be roughly the same throughout. only that i'll get down and write towards a deadline and therefore feel like am doing more than when i was reading.

i think presuming that you were always motivated, had a deadline, no unexpected events happening and a cooperating supervisor, i would give a month for each chapter if you are writing from scratch so about 6 months. 3 months if you had read all relevant literature and knew your stuff. am inclined to agree with aloha's 9 months to a year. i think that allows for life to go on while writing up and accomodates unexpected life events, motivation changes and waiting around for your supervisor. my aim was 6 months, now i think it will be more like 9.

working away now - doing summaries all day. hopefully i'll finish and incorporate them into my chapters.

thanks Lara! Cakegirl - i totally emphathise. don't worry, you have us - you don't NEED them. put it all in perspective. true - through this process we know who our real friends are.

hope your chapter is going well Lara. i'll make time to read through your blog - something to do during my break.

thanks Lara. you put a smile on my face. at least someone out there gets me.

otherwise, am just tucked in this book. it's great to know am not the only one in the world studying.

hope work is going well.

conversation carried on. then my friend said, " not everyone will have achieved what you have by 25 and therefore see things like you do." that was so unprovoked!!! just because i gave a view on an issue i was suddenly the subject of attack not because of the view, but because of who i am.

anyhow, i've come to realise that people don't get you when you're a PhD student. they are intimidated by you. people who used to friends become your worst critics... only few friends actually stay friends. time to focus on my work and close my life to, 'friends'. i now understand why academics hang out together. some people in this world are just too shallow.