H- the guy has no clue about my field. he isn't even from my field. he just knows someone working in my general field and he's concluded that they know more than i do about applications coz they got a job on completing their undergrad degree. as for further interests, he's definitely looking for more - which am not interested in.

1) think about yourself and your working patterns. do you have to work from home? if not, try a library and you won't find your grandma a distraction. alternatively, get up early or work late - when she's asleep. i personally try to be up at seven lately coz i've met this guy who comes to my place immediately after work and am finding that hard to put up with. i've decided that relationships are a no no this year coz am writing up. if you can get your boyfriend to agree to only seeing you in your free time - evening or/and weekends, then i think it can work. it can only work if he's SUPPORTIVE not distractive.

i totally agree with phdgirlie. i've always found that guys i've dated during my phd always got so attached and wanted too much of my time and attention. on my side, i also found that i couldn't concentrate coz of all the distractions (wanting to spend all evenings and weekends with me. i work best in the evenings). am the type of person who needs to concentrate 110% to deliver. i can't be on an emotional rollacoater and work. so, i think you should do two things:

thanks verdy. i've decided to limit my association and eventually cut him out of my life. i think that's its obvious that he crossed a line, especially with my contact details, and if he doesn't see it, then i'd rather not be associated with such a person.

i pretty much know that there isn't much new stuff am gonna find out. and i feel bad that some good for nothing person thinks they can figure my life out, decide that i need to be helped to look for a job, give out my contacts and book me appointments for hints on how to get jobs. i just feel invaded and i wish i didn't have unsolicited help. i've always done my stuff on my own before and i've come through ok. i don't wanna get a job because so and so helped me and even worse, owe my success to somebody who feels they can figure me out. do i have a right to be angry?

hi everyone. am having a really lousy evening. i had a very productive day and then hosted this dinner at my house. i've been job hunting as you all know. then this guy comes along, he's been trying to be friendly lately and he's in a great job in a science related job. he decides that i really need help getting a job in my field - social sciences. talks to a few friends about this and now i have an appointment with one of his friend's spouses who's apparently gonna show me how to go about the whole application process. like i don't have a clue!!!!

am planning to apply for a job to start in sept next year whether i've finished or not. probably following submission waiting for viva. 8 months is a lot. i wouldn't combine writing up with a full time job. its too distracting, time and energy consuming. why don't you try and write up and finish before taking up this job or take a loan finish and probably a job will still come up?

congratulations!

very funny. its amazing how you all have confidence in me. wish i felt that way. hi Pea. Piglet - i so wish that was true. Seabird - i've seen your other posts during my lunch break. i hope things get back on track. just get on with it. i read somewhere this morning, that its best to just write, even though you had four more weeks, you're work would still be of the same quality as if you did it today (in your case by sept). so...... just write.. if you had more time, you'd just procrastinate. lets face it . don't worry about quality - it will be good - eventually. lol at H.

finally, am glad to report i managed to be in uni today at 9am! what a miracle!! still can't believe it. am so proud of myself. thanks for all your suggestions. yesterday didn't go very well. i came in and just caught up with my colleagues - no work done. anyway, am off. gotta get back to work.later.

thanks everyone. shani - that sounds like something i could do (easily). juno - have a deadline in two weeks. the thought of loosing an extra day.. not doing anything today though. hope your work is going well.

hey everyone... apologies for my long silence. following my successful transfer i took two weeks off work, which turned into a month!!! wild procrastinating. i feel much better now and ready to get back to work.. i just wish i could get down to it. i keep surfing the net hour after hour and before i know it, the day is over. somebody help!

UFO wrote up in three months i think. am also writing up, trying to write a chapter each month, but my supervisor is so thorough that each chapter ends up taking about three months! i don't want to think how long revising the final draft will take.

you'll be fine. just start writing. divide it into small bits to get you going.

Congratulations H!

Good - nah, he doesn't have a clue.

i always say, you'll meet someone much better. try to move on. its hard i know, but like Ann says.... you'll get over it with time. we all do.