i'll be working on a deadline this weekend. is anyone else gonna be working this weekend? hope its gonna be rainy coz its really hard to stay in when the weather is good.

are you sure this is the right decision? i have had similar problems and am still hanging on?

very - but everyone makes mistakes.

no supervisor is gonna want such a phd student, but lets hope they forget about it.

The application process takes 3 MONTHS. It is only after these three months that your enquiries would have been justified. Your email is under no circumsances justified as it makes too many assumptions - maybe it was another secretary. Anyhow, keep your fingers crossed and hope they forget all about it.

In converse, if you've got this son who can't be bothered to take PERSONAL responsibility, as a parent you take that responsibility for them until such a time that they can handle responsibility themselves. On the other hand, if a student knows your parents are gonna take responsibility to get them a Tutor, why should they go through the pain of learning the stuff on their own. There are many too many angles to justify this scenario. I just think we should accept that there are many ways to skin a cat and everyone has to do what they have to do to skin their's. What matters for everyone is that they skin their cat - i'e graduate with a good degree, or that their child graduates with a good degree. Not how they end up doing that, willingness of the child's acknowledgement of personal responsibility not withstanding.

A student looking for help with their work, even going to the extend of asking his parents to solicit help from sources the student might not be able to reach, IS taking PERSONAL responsibility Otto.

I once paid a friend £8.50 an hour, out of my meagre stipend to tutor me in econometrics - simply because I needed to use it in my thesis at the time and I couldn't get my head round it.

Seeking personal responsibility is not limited to DIY, i.e. taking books and reading them on your own even when DESPITE YOUR GREATEST EFFORTS, you can't understand them.

all the best silverbobs. am a social science phd. i should also get back to work. later.

my supervisor is yet to say any such thing about my work, so if there is no other reason you stay on your PhD, stay coz your work is of a high standard.

Am glad that you find my advice helpful. On whether completing the PhD will make a difference in your life, as a perfectionist, you have to deal with what's gonna happen when everyone around you discovers that the ever-perfect Silverbobs couldn't handle a PhD. It might seem to be a small issue for others, but being seen to have been tested to the limit and fallen at the last hurdle for a perfectionist by far worse, than just perservering and finishing the PhD and keeping your reputation. Everyone aroud you is proud of you and this PhD you've taken up. The question you need to answer is whether you prepared to deal with giving explanations for what may perceived as failure or worse still, with being perceived as a failure.

i have been through ups and downs during my phd and many times i've felt like this. this went on for months and months and i was just working for the sake of staying on the course. being a perfectionist, and i am one believe it or not, is not easy coz with a phd there is nothing to aim for apart from passing. Check out the following link on the seven secrets of highly successful phd students. Hope you find these guidelines of help. They've been of help to me. Meanwhile, no one expects you to work weekends if you're doing 9-5 monday to Friday. I personally only work weekends coz my weekdays start at 12 and i have found it difficult to conform to the 9-5 lifestlye. Take a few days off to take your mind off your thesis. Your energy will be renewed when you get back to it.

http://www.grad.ac.uk/downloads/documents/PGR%20tips%20archive/PGR_Tips_Issue_12_Mar07.pdf

you should probably take a few days off if you feel you need time off. over-working can lead to a situation where everything gets to your nerves.

coastman - i didn't notice the call you out part of your post. am not sure they do that in my uni. i should find out. most things are usually done via email and pigeon holes.

am definitely putting it under expenses - seriously considering the sympathy vote tho :) thanks guys.

Your apologies have been noted Otto and Esenboga I hope you're over this.

Otto, an apology is not too much to ask - no one deserves to be called a bastard or to be put down from coming from an affluent background. If the boy has a rich dad, he doesn't have to go around justifying this fact to those who don't find themselves in the same favourable position.

I worked my way thro uni, without any help. Tough! I could barely afford the basic uni lifestyle leave alone help with my revision. I knew that and I worked my tail off. But that doesn mean that its wrong to help someone who needs it.

Otto - what would do you if you have the money to pay an above average salary and your son wasn't hacking it at school? Would you sit and watch him go down the drain, or would you look for help from everywhere you know, including Phd student Esenboga who knows about this forum?

Speaking of appropriateness of topic - lots of stuff that isn't phd related is discussed here, jobs that may be of interest, boyfriend and girlfriends problems, the weather etc. There is a site regulator. It's not for us to go around telling people to take their posts down. That is the job of the forum moderator.

Anyhow, mine is not to take sides, it's to say we should treat the next person as we would like to be treated. I often come here with my problems and questions - and would hate to be treated the way Esenboga has been treated.