======= Date Modified 09 Jul 2011 23:54:14 =======
I have to say, Beajay, you must have experience of some lovely psychiatric wards if affirmation is commonplace there! In my experience these wards are nothing but dehumanising and often very scary places. I actually developed PTSD from my experiences on a psychiatric ward, and have suffered debilitating flashbacks for over 8 years, despite intensive treatment. I acknowledge that my experiences might have been rather extreme, but I am struggling to find anything positive about the experiences I've had on these type of wards! I'm not planning to get admitted ever again (my last admission was over 6 years ago), but you must point me in the right direction, I've clearly been admitted to the wrong place! Best, KB

Hey again- I think Pjlu has put it very well, and basically explained what I was trying to say, only much better! I have bipolar disorder and although I have not been seriously ill for a while I can really empathise with the effects of the 'cheer up, it's not that bad' type of advice that people often offer. It undermines and massively over-simplifies the whole experience of depression- if only someone with severe depression could 'cheer up' on demand! I've spent about 2 years of my life in total shut on psych wards trying to do just that, along with many other troubled souls. Perhaps I am getting a little off topic, but I think this relates in some ways to the 'love your PhD' advice. For some folk on here it really isn't as simple as looking on the bright side and trying to think a bit more positively about their PhD. Personally, as I said before, I agree with you and have very similar beliefs which have resulted from my own experiences- I just think it might be very difficult for others to take your message on board given the complexities of some people's situations. Best wishes, KB

Eeek, I've been thinking about what to do straight after my viva. I won't have time to celebrate my submission since the viva is so soon afterwards. I will have one free day after my viva then the next day (if all goes well with the viva) I'm off to a friend's wedding abroad for a few days with my boyf. It will be fantastic to get a few days away if the viva goes well but if it doesn't go well then I don't know what I'll do. Either way, I think straight after the viva I'll be downing lots of vodka! KB

Hey Snowdropbooks, I completely take your point. Although I'm only in my late 20s I have been through the mill a bit with serious health problems and the untimely death of several friends through similar health problems, and I can empathise with how you feel about life being too short etc. I have taken similar steps to yourself to ensure that I cut the rubbish out of my life and do what my heart is telling me to do. I have never hated my PhD, although I have had problems with my supervisor at times- I have absolutely loved 99% of it.

However I can understand why some people have such awful PhD experiences and I can also understand why some people carry on regardless. I think everyone would love to love their PhDs, but it's not always that simple. Many of us, although not all, have career ambitions that necessitate completing a PhD (even one that isn't enjoyable), others are more than halfway through before trouble strikes and do not want to quit, and lots of people also have personal reasons for wanting to complete a PhD. I think it's important to recognise that for some people the PhD is not an enjoyable experience, but as another forum member highlighted recently, for many people it is better than the available alternatives of unemployment etc. Anyway, that's my take. I get you, but I think it's important to consider that other people may be undertaking a PhD in very difficult circumstances.
Best, KB

Hey all! Yeah, Slowmo next, then I think it's me after that...it feels like there has just been a constant stream of us submitting and having vivas over the last few months, and it looks like it is going to continue that way!

I'm sort of feeling a bit calmer now than I was a couple of weeks ago when my deadline got pulled forwards. I'm hoping to have a final draft sorted and seen by my supervisor in about 10-14 days, allowing another 10 days or so to format and edit. I hope that will be long enough! The fellowship application is really not coming along well and I am losing enthusiasm. Starting to think that I really need to move away from here and at least spend a bit of time away from my sup before I explode. Yesterday she actually shouted at me for being nervous about my viva and told me it was pointless and that I was wasting energy! I know it's true, but that doesn't mean it's possible to just discard my nerves! Sometimes I think she isn't human. Just to add to the chaos I have been invited for a job interview in about 10 days which means I will lose at least a day and will have to spend a night away. But I really like the look of the job so I'm gonna go for it. Eeeek. No pressure.

Delighted to hear about your success Dunni, and pleased that things are looking up for you Pink_Numbers as well. Can't believe that this rollercoaster is going to be over in a month...

Best, KB

Hey Slowmo- I think you really have to do whatever you feel is right for you and your thesis this week. I have just over three weeks left until submission but even at this stage I have had to cut down my meetings with my boyf to just once or twice a week (and he gets the train here and back to save me time) and I have changed any evening arrangements with friends to lunchtime meetings instead since I work best in the evenings and lunchtime meetings take less time! I feel really guilty but luckily my friends are mostly doing PhDs as well so they understand. My boyf does make me feel really guilty (not deliberately) because he only works 3-4 days per week and wants to meet up on the other days, but we have a few days away booked straight after my viva so we are both looking forward to that. I am having my first day off in a month this weekend to go to my nephew's first birthday party and I even feel guilty about that but I am looking forward to it! I don't think you are being melodramatic at all- this will all be over in a week and your friends won't have gone anywhere! You will regret it more if you feel like you didn't quite put 100% into it so I would just keep going, whilst also building in breaks and coffee etc with friends when you feel able to. Best of luck! KB

Hey! Just to add to my previous post, which on reflection, does sound rather negative! I have a supervisor who gave me positive feedback for about the first 3 months of my PhD and then decided it was unnecessary to give praise and just focused on the bad. It is tough, but having said that, it is important to use the feedback to your advantage. I have managed to get a few publications out of my PhD so far and am about to submit another 3 papers for peer review and potential publication- something I probably wouldn't have achieved without the extensive 'constructive' feedback from my sup. For that, I am grateful. With respect to reviewers' comments, my papers have mostly been revise and resubmits, but I got all of them accepted into my first choice journals with various amounts of revision (some good journals and some pretty average). Some of the reviewers' comments were really helpful and contributed towards a much better final publication, some suggestions I disagreed with and refused to incorporate into the paper, which did not prevent the paper from being accepted. So one thing I have learnt from peer review is that you can pick and choose what you respond to- some advice you get will be great, and some will seem either pointless or at worst, misinformed. It was really helpful to me to learn how to stand up for myself on the points that I disagreed with and to realise that actually I could defend my work coherently where necessary. So even lots of 'negative' feedback can be really valuable in the long run...it's a learning experience. But it isn't pleasant. Best, KB

Hey there! I completely get what you're saying- a PhD can feel like one lot of negative feedback after another. I think this can be for different reasons. Firstly, academia is (rightly or wrongly) all about peer review and what others think of your work- whether you are trying to get something published, or applying for a grant, it all comes down to peer review. For this reason academics at the top of their game are used to receiving and giving feedback, and they've gotten so used to slating other people's work that they forget that us newbies aren't always used to that sort of behaviour, because it's completely normal to them. Therefore when you hand something in, they behave in the way that has got them to the top- they criticize it and look for the holes in it- that's what they've been trained to do. Of course there are always 'nice' researchers who do a lot of collaborative work and get on with most other academics, but sometimes it feels like these people are the exception. I also think for people who are very high up it is easy to forget what it's like to be doing a PhD, or to even regard PhD students as a bit of a pain when they have bigger fish to fry, so it's easy for them to not think about how they deliver feedback. I honestly think some academics have absolutely no concept of how this sort of behaviour can affect new researchers, and would perhaps take a little more time to consider their actions if they understood how it makes people feel. Then again, that's assuming they have time on their hands to do so, which is often not the case. That's my take on it anyway. To some extent its good to be toughened up if you're planning on a career in academia, because you'll inevitably have to deal with a lot of 'constructive criticism', but it's certainly a steep learning curve for some! Probably best to treat the situation with some humour- that's what I've learnt to do! Best, KB

Congrats Dunni! You must be exhausted what with the travelling, the viva and the kids, but hope you get time to celebrate properly - you really deserve it! So good to hear all of these success stories recently! Best, KB

Hey Delta. Well my second sup doesn't really have much involvement with my PhD, but my primary sup has been both a massive help and a hindrance to my project. She is great in the way that she is so efficient, always giving me feedback on my work within a few days, encouraging me to publish my PhD as I went along and providing useful comments on several drafts before submission, and helping me out financially so that I could present at really big conferences. At the same time she can also be so rude, nasty, impatient and insensitive that at the moment I do not feel very tempted to consider working with her post-PhD (although we do have an application for funding already submitted). I think it would be naive of me to think that I could have produced a PhD of the same quality without her support and guidance (but I'm not saying this is the same for everyone!), yet she has also been the source of many tears and a lot of stress especially over the last 6 months or so. So very mixed feelings on that one! KB

Okay- in that case I'm a bit too old! Sorry! Good luck with it, KB

Hey Delta, you are welcome to my submision-to-viva time of 6 days if you like! I have to admit I'm in favour of it being sooner rather than later, but 6 days is pushing it! I've got 4-5 weeks to finish and submit my PhD, prepare for my viva, submit 3 papers for publication and prepare a rather lengthy fellowship application :-( If it all goes well I'm sure I'll be glad it was over with so quickly...but if it doesn't I'll be kicking myself for taking on too much! KB

Loads of luck Dunni! Will be keeping an eye out tomorrow for your good news! Best, KB