Awesome, well done you! KB

Well as a team we got our sup a bouquet of flowers and a card last year, but that was because it was her 50th and we all knew about it. I wanted to get a helium balloon with 50 on it but the rest of the team instructed me not to get anything with 50 on it so we just got a normal 'non-50' card! It went down pretty well, and she does get us cards for our birthdays unless she's abroad somewhere. I guess it depends on your relationship with your sup! Maybe get a joint one from you and others that are on the same team/work with the same sup as you (if there are any!) and that way it's a little bit less personal! Best, KB

Hey 4matt! It's a tough world, this researching stuff. First off, I did an MSc before my PhD and I think that it was actually more stressful than my PhD has been so far. Not to say that the PhD doesn't have its very stressful moments (and many of them), but I think for me the MSc was an even steeper learning curve than the PhD! Is your MSc purely research or is it part taught as well? Mine was half and half and it was tough balancing a substantial research project with lectures, coursework, exams etc, and it was a really hectic year. So in a way, you might be hitting the toughest bit right now. I'm not promising it will get easier, but things might even out a little more yet!

The hours you describe sound long, but I think quite similar to what some of us on here are working. The reading side is difficult, I have a huge pile of papers I want to read as whenever I see something that looks interesting, I just print it off. Needless to say, the pile never gets read, it just gets bigger and bigger and gives way to something more urgent every time. It is important to prioritise your reading. You are not expected to read absolutely everything in your field, and it's tempting to try to, but you will always come across some paper you've never seen before and think, how have I missed this? You will never get to the end of the reading, so you really need to get into the habit of reading the stuff that's necessary, and scan the paper first to see whether you need to read it or whether you can get the gist from the abstract and just skip to the interesting bits. It's tough, but it's the only way to survive! And review papers are always quite handy if you need to be familiar with certain literature but don't have the time to scour for papers and read through every single one of them. And you have to take time off to enjoy yourself now and again or else you will go crazy! I had no time off over my MSc but I find with the PhD that sometimes there are points where it seems more natural to take a few days off before starting on something new etc, and it is important to try to do that.

I was also a bit of a perfectionist- as you describe, A's, then a first, disctinction etc, and so scared all the time of letting myself down. And one of the best things about the PhD for me is that there are no grades! It is truly a relief for the first time in years to not have to worry about whether I'm going to get the top grade or not. Of course, there are other ways that you are judged, but I find the PhD more forgiving in that if you make a mistake, you are given the chance to correct it and to improve your work, you are not stuck with a grade that will be on your record for life! There's still pressure, but for me anyway it's a diffferent kind of pressure, and a type that I find easier to manage. Of course, everyone's different!

And you're right, you need to find a way of working where you can stay sane. I have to be very careful with my routine as it is quite easy to knock myself off balance with my bipolar disorder, and it takes a while to find a way of working that works for you, but you will find it with a bit of experimentation. But don't burn yourself out, you're better to take a bit of time off sooner and have a break rather than driving yourself to the point of breakdown and needing far longer off to recover (not to mention feeling really crappy to boot). But the PhD is a long slog, not a sprint, so try to pace yourself and be nice to yourself too.

Best wishes, KB

======= Date Modified 10 Apr 2010 13:32:18 =======
Hey! It's quite a tough job knowing where to draw the line here. I have had quite severe health problems in the past (bipooar) which my supervisor is aware of, and when I started my PhD she asked me to always be upfront with her and let her know if I am starting to have any problems. I did get quite ill about a year ago and it was quite obvious to everybody that I wasn't well. She called me in to talk about it and it was a bit strange. She's a qualified clinical psychologist (I'm in a psych department) so it felt a bit weird, almost like she was playing the psychologist role with me. To be honest, in the end it got a bit uncomfortable I think for both of us, and I have tended to keep a bit more distance between us now if it's something to do with my health, although I still fill her in if I'm not feeling so good so she knows where I'm up to. In your situation I think it's probably important to make the point that there is a specific reason that you have been unable to make the deadline, but maybe not divulge all the details. At the end of the day, you're not actually asking for non-academic support, you just want him to appreciate that you have a lot on your plate or whatever, so I don't think there's any harm in maybe giving him a brief outline of what the issue is, or just to say that you are dealing with some personal circumstances right now that are affecting your work. Good luck with it! Best, KB

Hey there! Ooh, the waiting game is horrible. I don't know much about waiting lists, but there are quite a few people on departmental scholarships in our department, and these tend to be awarded on the basis that an effort will be/has been made to get funding from elsewhere, i.e. so the department either have to shell out less, or they can then afford to offer it to someone else. I was originally offered school funding and then was awarded funding from elsewhere, and a friend of mine under the same supervisor was also offered school funding and has just been awarded funding from a research council. I suppose it depends whereabouts you are on the reserve list, but I wouldn't lose all hope. Is it possible for you to apply for external funding as well? It might increase your chances- perhaps you could ask your potential supervisor if there are any places you could apply to? Best, KB

Hey guys, thanks for your replies. That is what I shall do then. I've been thinking it over today and I am so tired with it all and anxious at the thought of fitting it all in, I know how much better I would feel if I could sort out something that feels vaguely realistic and aim towards that instead. My sup is away at the moment (it's alright for some people who can take 3-week long hols, eh!!) but I will have a lovely couple of timeplans to show her when she gets back! Hoping she gets back in a good mood! Have a good weekend all! KB

Hey Sneaks! Well I think you should apply- a guy I know in our department is just finishing his PhD off and was just last week offered a lecturer position at a different university, so there is hope. He's done well, got a few publications, been to quite a few conferences etc but it just shows that it can be done. I don't what his salary will be, I am guessing about 30K. I'm aiming to carry on to do a post-doc in the same department when I'm done. I'm not very optimistic anout getting the funding but I'm going to try. Two of the other post-docs under my supervisor got their positions straight after their PhDs and are earning 28-29K. I'm not saying I'm 'expecting' to land this type of position, but I'm going to give it a shot...I would just apply for everything you're interested in, you've got nothing to lose and you may as well aim high! Best, KB

Hey all! I know I have moaned about having too much to do on here for a while (I know, don't we all!), so I have decided to be assertive and sort it out. What my sup is expecting me to do is ridiculous (I have checked this out with lots of people!) and there's no way it can be done in the time I have. Ideally I need to get rid of the follow-up study I'm meant to be doing (which I am convinced will not show anything due to the shortness of the follow up period) and aim for more participants in both of my groups at the one timepoint. So I was thinking I would draw out a timetable for what I have left to do according to the original plan, and according to my new plan, to show my supervisor. Plus points- more participants in both groups at time 1 means publications in better journals as well as a better chance of finding significant relationships between variables, and will give me the time to actually write these imaginary papers. And I might stand a chance of finishing maybe in 3.5 years, which is okay as I just about have enough savings to live on for 6 months. I have already suggested this to my supervisor and she is insisting on the follow-up, but she is going to drive me to a nervous breakdown at this rate so I am going to try again but be a bit firmer. Does this sound like a good idea or does presenting her with actual proposed timetables to prove my point seem a bit too confrontational do you think? I don't want to piss her off! Thanks people! Best, KB

Hey Teek, really glad to hear it went well and you feel as though you're being listened to properly. Hopefully you'll soon be feeling a bit more chirpy! I know what you mean about the whole 'connection' thing- I recruit my participants from the local psychiatric unit which is the same one I see my consultant at and have been an inpatient in. I'm always dreading that the psychiatrist that helps me out with recruitment will twig that I'm a patient there, but it hasn't happened yet! Some of my participants are also under the same psych as me, which is a bit weird...oh well. Long as I'm feeling well I don't mind! Fingers crossed that you start feeling better soon, glad it went well for you! Best, KB

Hmm, I have never been drinking whilst writing, but I have a pal who used to drink while he marked undergraduates' work. Apparently one night he had a bit too much, and when he checked over his marking the next day he found that he had written 'oh my god, this is absolute shit' at the bottom of someone's work! Lucky he checked! So personally, I would play it safe lol! Best, KB

Hey all! Thanks for your replies! I put my own project together too Bilbo, then applied for funding, and although I love it, it can be really hard as it is so close to home in a number of ways. Not even just with my grandads, but a lot of the people I work with are in institutions and that feels really close to home after all the long term stays on psych wards I used to have. I also have long term memory damage due to the electroconvulsive therapy I used to receive as treatment, and I still struggle with this- it sometimes feels like my memory isn't much better than that of my participants! I wouldn't have my topic any other way though, I am determined to go on and stay in mental health research, and probably stay in the field of dementia though I'm not absolutely decided on that yet. I do like researching stuff that's close to home, and I think my experiences make me better at what I do, but sometimes I wish I didn't have so many reminders of times past! And I'm intrigued too now sneaks! Best, KB

======= Date Modified 07 35 2010 14:35:43 =======
I was just wondering....my research is with people with Alzheimer's disease and I have had one grandad die with dementia and my other grandad is now in the very late stages of Alzheimer's disease. It kills me just to see him in the state he is in, it is truly awful. So in a way a lot of my motivation for what I'm doing comes from this, but in another way it's just damned hard to keep my research and my personal life separate, and I certainly don't like to think of my grandads as 'research subjects' rather than as close relatives who I absolutely adore, although I do often think about them in relation to my research. I think the other hard bit is that the research I am doing is kind of seeking to show something that is actually the opposite of what I am seeing in my own grandad...that is, he is a contradiction of what I'm hoping to find. If that makes sense. It doesn't half make things a bit tricky. Does anyone else have this sort of situation on their hands?

Best, KB

Hey! Yes, I bet most of us have been there- I certainly have. It's horrible, and there's not a lot you can do except wait, chase it up eventually, and hope for good news. I just tried to keep myself busy around that time- the places I applied to for funding didn't have a set deadline either, so I was literally just hanging on for months to find out, hoping that one day a letter would drop through my door. In the end it dropped through my parents' door and I had the agonising moment of my dad opening it on the other end of the phone and the silence while he tried to work out exactly what it was saying before he could relate it to me! Try to keep yourself busy and distracted- I think that's the best thing to do at the moment. Fingers crossed for you- let us know when you get the news! Best, KB

Haha, unlucky! I put my foot in it rather recently when visiting a particpant. I was visiting a particularly religious couple, and one of the first things they asked was whether I was religious. Wanting to make a good impression, I told them that I was a Christian (actually, technically I am, but I'm not really a practising Christian- I go to church only for weddings, funerals, and so on, but I didn't want to offend them by saying I wasn't religious or whatever). The participant called his wife into the room in delight, to share the good news that I was a Christian. 'Oh', she said, 'I knew I recognised you, I must have seen you in church, which church is it you go to?' Shit, I thought. I replied that I just went to the family church back home (again, not technically a lie), but it went from bad to worse when they started quizzing me about my favourite bible readings and the gentleman actually asked me (whilst I was recording the interview) whether I 'believed'. I managed to mutter something about being open-minded and promised myself I was never going to lie/exaggerate about my religious beliefs ever again just to get on the good side of a participant! I am just so paranoid about offending people! I hope this post hasn't offended anyone- I think people should believe in whatever they want to providing it doesn't harm anyone and genuinely am quite open-minded about religion and beliefs, but the above wasn't one of my finer moments! Best, KB

Hey again Teek! Yeah, I guess 6 sessions wouldn't be so useful. It might be worth asking whether they keep people on longer-term... our counselling service often sees people for just a few sessions, but have longer-term slots as well, and a specialist CBT person too. I certainly didn't go there expecting them to keep me on for 6 years, but they seem to be very flexible and have been brilliant with me. I was also a bit worried that they wouldn't really be suited to people with more severe mental health problems, and the counsellor I see (well she's actually a psychotherapist, but anyway...) has said that even she doubted she would be able to deal with me at first, but we clicked really well and she is very experienced, so we seem to have made an awful lot of progress. The other thing is that it would be very difficult to get this level of support from a counsellor/psychotherapist (in terms of time and number of sessions) on the NHS, so it might be worth taking advantage of the student services while you can, if they would be able to offer you some appropriate support (i.e. ongoing support, not just 6 sessions!). The other thing might be to ask about having a CPN...the consultant you see might be able to sort that out for you. I used to have one and that was quite helpful in terms of practical support, although I find the counselling service better for me than the CPN personally. Anyway, hopefully the consultant will be able to discuss options with you, hope it goes well and you are able to get some help and start feeling better. It's good to try to get help now, my life was torn apart by the bipolar a few years ago- I spent 4 or 5 years in and out of hospital, dropped out of uni three times, and honestly thought that it would be the end of me (at one point it very nearly was). Now I've found the right help (medication and psychotherapy), I still have to be very careful with my lifestyle, see the consultant regularly etc, and I have my ups and downs, but nothing like what it used to be. Life is great again and I appreciate it even more now! Fingers crossed you find something that works for you. Best, KB