Hi Florence,

I'm 22 so am not in a rush to have babies but in the past year and a half since starting the PhD I've become more and more aware of the sometimes huge personal sacrifices you have to make...Things which I never seriously considered before I started (for example having worked about 10 hours a day, every day, for the past 2 weeks). Because it's not just the PhD is it? If you manage to finish it in any sane length of time then there's the hurly burly of academia, or, conversely, trying to persuade non-academic employers that having a PhD will not harm your ability to do a 'normal' job *rolls eyes*.

I've thought about this quite a lot recently and whether just having a regular job and reading and thinking in my spare time would be enough and I came to the conclusion that it wouldn't, right now. I want my work to be out there, I want people to read it, I want to debate about the things I care about rather than carrying it all around in my head with me. And right now that means more than anything else (health and family aside, of course).

This post probably wasn't in any way helpful but I'm not sure I can offer constructive advice. Just to say that you're not alone.

God that's depressing. If I handed that in to my supervisor he'd probably be thrilled!

The writing pain is pretty acute right now. I don't know what I'm trying to say and what I think I might be trying to say seems pointless...maybe even wrong.

It's interesting you used Marx as an example there Joyce, I'm pretty sure he didn't want to keep the peasants at bay;-)

I agree with you in a lot of ways Wal. My thesis involves a bit of philosophy and sometimes I'll puzzle over a concept for months before realizing 'Oh! Is that it?!' Philosophy's a difficult one though because a lot of philosophers get people's backs up for being verbose and using words in funny ways but then I think sometimes they are playing with language, trying out its different possibilities. Particularly with the massive intersections that have gone on recently between literature and literary theory and philosophy.

Bit of a tangent there. But overall, yes, you speak truth and I try my best to keep my writing clear, which involves not being scared of the dreaded 'I'.

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Have you ever read another PhD students work and realised it was just generally much better than yours? No subjective analysis involved- maybe the writing style was more engaging or clearer, their aims were better defined or they'd read much more widely around their field (or all three, as in the case I have encountered :-))
My mid-point review is coming up and a friendly fellow PhDer gave me her report for guidance. I knew I had a lot more work to do, but the disparity in quality of mine with one week to go before submission, with hers is huge.
I'm not looking for sympathy here, or for people to tell me it's all in my head (:p), just wondering how other people have felt in these situations and whether it reflects the varied quality of theses generally?
(I should add- for my own sense of pride- that as far as I can tell I've had a lot more on in my first year and a half than she did, academically but outside the thesis).

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Welcome Sebean,

As someone who has been very lax about this and is now paying for it - keep track of all your references from the start! Don't faff around with your own systems, use some decent bibliographic software and keep on top of it.

Also get yourself a copy of the PGF forum bible 'How to write your dissertation in 15 minutes a day'.

Good luck and enjoy!

Aye!

Trying to pretend I have any idea what I'm talking about and failing. No time to figure out what I'm talking about!

Hi Guitarman,

I'm going to say something which probably won't be very popular. Whilst I'm very glad to see that you are enjoying your new job and lifestyle, I do feel you are being slightly disparaging towards those who are continuining with their PhDs: comparing them to a 'real job' and 'real applicable work', for example. I would never, ever knock somebody who decided to leave their PhD so I feel perhaps you could be more understanding of those who have decided to carry on.

Not the only woman Sneaks ;-)

Sleep well Wal.

That clip sums up the spirit of the Nocturnal Worker's thread for me. I'm sure there'll be another series, Mark as a new dad is too much of a good opportunity to miss.

Hope you're getting there Wally?

I'm on board. Choo chooo (For those who watch Peep Show I always imagine saying this in the way Mark does the fog horn noise when talking about the El Dude brothers.)

Teaching Northern Lights tomorrow and haven't finished reading it yet. I hate it. Talking bloody polar bears and the lot. Yes I know, children's literature, v.important, pedagogy, zzz.... I think I'm just going to tell them I hate it. Might rouse somebody to reply.

How do you imagine other folk on here?

I'll start off. Satchi is very sweet, fun and girly.

Hello all,

I thought I'd give a quick update as you were all so kind when I needed it. I'm glad to say I'm feeling a lot better. I think (embarrasingly) it was the combination of being sort-of dumped and the journal rejection which made me feel so bad. I've not yet told my supervisor or read the journal feedback, but I plan to do both of those things next week when I'll hopefully be feeling back on form.
I've still been working this week but just taking things a bit more slowly and not making my usual to-do lists. Those usually motivate me but I felt like it would be an extra pressure this week so I've just been slowly getting through bits and pieces. I've also decided- call me crazy if you like- that I am going to submit to the second journal at the end of this month. The paper which this article is based on is the one I gave back at a conference in January which I got a LOT of positive feedback from, and this second journal is a special edition tied in with that conference. It's the best opportunity I can see I'm going to get to publish this article and if I can be brave then the feedback I've got from the first should really help.
It's going to be a tough couple of weeks combined with my mid-point review but I've made a sensible plan and I have some fun things going on outside work. Then, in April, I will see about taking a few days off.
I went to a talk last night which was in my discipline (literature) but not at all connected to my studies and I found it totally fascinating and was absorbed for the entire thing. It reminded me how much I love my subject and how much I would miss not being able to study it any more. If I don't get a job at the end of this then I can at least say I spent three (crazy, intense and at times heartbreaking) years studying something I love.
So again thanks everyone, and I hope normal service will be resumed shortly (up)

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======= Date Modified 08 Mar 2010 21:02:42 =======
Thanks so much everybody,

I haven't thought about my workload much today and whether or not I'm going to try for the second journal as I'm still feeling fragile so have just done a little teaching prep (REALLY don't want to teach tomorrow. Today's events have been combined with stupid, stupid boy trouble so I feel like I'm just being rejected from all angles!
I know I need a break; I can't remember the last time I intentionally took a week off. I'm not sure I ever have. But then part of me thinks: what am I going to do on a break? I have barely any friends left and the ones I do I rarely see them. I would just spend a week being reminded of how alone I've become.
I will e-mail sup tomorrow and explain some of my worries. He's a lovely man and has always said he would be there if times got hard so maybe it's time to test his mettle (although he doesn't need to know about my silly love life).
Sorry I can't get together a more coherent reply at the moment folks but, again, thank you so much.

ETA: Oh Bug I didn't see your post, you lovely person. I've got something in my eye now.
ETA 2: My sister just texted me: 'THE UNIVERSE IS NOT REJECTING YOU.' Made me laugh, finally!