and if he asks me where my "productivity" was from the time i supposedely had off from my ra job (which wasnt that much time, and the time i did have off, i spent working on the first paper) and then when they had major deadlines, i offered to work weekends for the ra project and i did!! to get all the work done.

and then i spent in total two years, working on the two papers, meticulously checking every single data and making sure everything i wrote was accurate, and making all the figures and changing them everytime they changed their minds, and redrafting over and over again...and reading hundreds of papers...and gathering all the literture..

because i know once i gave it in for submission, and realised a mistake whilst i wrote my thesis chapter, it would be too late. and i feel completely betrayed that he said they did all the hard work. when i did all the hard work also in producing the final draft, that they could "work on"

my fellow phd friends at the lab are so supportive though. and they know the truth. and they are going to arrange to meet up after my meeting so we can talk about it. so at least i will have that to look forward to.

i have to show him what i've done. so i am spending this week , gathering all my stuff , its all crappy zero drafts. but i will just be honest, and say i had writers block for past few months during the time my dad was ill. and i just couldnt work on my thesis. i will be honest, and admit it. he will probably berate me for not being "professional" but i dont care.

Hi Bobby, so kind of you to ask, Yes I sent a reply to his email. I have not heard back from him yet. I am dreading my meeting with him next week, when I have to show him what i have done and he's going to shout at me, and maker me feel like i am a phd fraud and i am incapable of defending my work. i have such low confidence now, that i feel i have forgotten everything about my phd and i don't know anything and wont be able to defend my thesis. but i will carry on and work on my thesis and try to put it behind me.

and for the offer to help me, with regards to submission, i will take you up on that offer!

i'm still waiting for them to come in the post. i asked her last week to send them to me and she said she would.

i emailed her again asking her if she sent them, but no reply, i'm thinking of calling her to ask her if she's sent them. but dont want to come across as being pushy. besides the graduate tutor is back from his holiday next monday eeek! he's gonna tell me off for not listening to him and not writing the thesis and instead writing the papers.

Miss spacey :) yes you're right, the paperwork takes 4 months. i hadn't done the paperwork because i was aiming to submit in december. so i spoke to the graduate tutor to send me the examination forms and i said, im concerned by the 4 month time it takes and the sept 1st deadline and she said, it should be fine, and that she will speak to the graduate tutor and try to sort it out for me, so yah i might get a grace of a little bit more time. but i think psychologically i will tell myself i only have until sept 1st.

thanks for your email!

set yourself a timer, you ONLY have 30minutes to read a paper and make notes of it. act as if you're in an exam. that's really helped me to charge through more papers..

so give yourself a week, to read all the relevant papers, and dont expect to understand everything you read. but the second time you read it or the third things might start to sink in and you will begin to see shapre to what you want to write in your introduction.

good luck! and if you like you can keep us updated with how you're doing.

one month is plenty of time to write an introduction. only focus on subjects and information that is RELEVANT.. your introduction is not meant to be an encyclopedia. that is what i used to do, i used to go over the top with detail and include stuff that wasnt really relevant, that the reader didnt really need to understand in order to understand my own results and findings. be selective. and you will enjoy it more.

give yourself a week or so, to just read all the papers. if you get stuck on a paper, don't waste too much time on it, you might find another paper later on that explains it better. just make a note to yourself Paper X - finding it difficult to read, will come back to it later.

the point is, it's much easier to improve on a crappy first draft, than it is to write perfect. wanting to write perfect first time, like it's already been said by woof, will cause a mental block, a writers block.

if you're really stuck. start a 10minute timer and do some freewriting, and write about anything even vaguely related to the introduction. you can even write about how you feel about it, what subjects you want to include, what you like and what you dont like. anything.

the point is to just write no matter how crappy it is.

and BB once told me that a psychologist was arguing that the best way to write first, was to write loads and loads of rubbish, even if it's just copied and pasted stuff from papers, or crazy ideas of your own. and then you can edit it down.

and apparetntly people who write crappy first drafts are more productive than those you plan meticulously and try to write perfect the very first time.

I too am working on the introduction of a chapter.

what helps me, is to do a pubmed search of all the relevant journal articles, and then skim read them all, writing down things that seem interesting and things i can use in my introduction, and then in a different colour, my own ramblings and thoughts and ideas.

i aim to write really crappy drafts, and i don't care about how it sounds or how "babyish" my own writing is.

How did it go?

*clocks in*

9 pages of handwritten notes (verbatim, and my own ramblings and thoughts and ideas)

productive time = 2 hours and 35 minutes.

lol for some strange reason, even though i do nothing but study in my study room all day, i only ever manage to get 2 hours and 30mins or so, of real productive time.

will try to improve on my "productive hour" score.. i'm competing with myself.

i too have only ever been in academia! have never had a proper job, i did have a RA job for one year, during my phd.

don't worry about the gap in your cv, someone adviced me once on this forum, that you can say you were doing research, act as though you were a research assistant.

it sounds like quite the struggle. if i were you, i wouldn't want to go back to it. i would want to start afresh on something that i really love and enjoy. be it a new course, or finding a job or volunteering..

Thanks alot woof, for posting it and sharing it with us, it's REALLY helped me !

yah , i am in science too, and all his advice can totally be applied

oh yah i totally related to that part aswell! and it's nice to know even very high up professional people suffer from procrastination and are intimidated by large tasks.

3000 is excellent for a days work! very impressive Jojo!! you deserve a star! *hands Jojo a gold star*

but you're friend is right. at the end of the world, it really is just "work" and there is more to life. just for these 3 months, just think you've been sentenced. but after the 3 months, you will be released. that's what i think, i've been given a jail sentence. and to pass the time, i might aswell work on the thesis. lol

some people just have a tougher time with their phds, because things don't go as easy or its more difficult. that's the whole point of research, you don't know where you will end up.

don't beat yourself up. the fact you're trying to write your thesis in these 3 months, is brilliant, and it makes me feel better to have a partner in crime!

i'm really glad you updated your thesis out line and it made you feel better. that's great!