what sparked it, was i was just about to work on chapter 4, and then all of a sudden i started to have a panic attack about this "extra" chapter my supervisor wants me to put in my thesis that she emailed me yesterday, but i don't like that chapter, and wanted to cut it out of my thesis, but she wants me to write it in my thesis :( i had left it for 5 months! and did not touch it. now i felt panicked that i have forgotten what the results showed and felt that it was all a mess, and i wouldnt know where to even begin to write that chapter on cgh arrays. so i told myself, i have 10mins to make a zero draft, a brief outline and look through the results for this chapter, look through my files and my rough notes from my last meeting from one of my other supervisors. cause i feel like i've forgotten what the results were.

Thanks Reda,

I am doing this technique at the moment. I have a timer, that I set to 10minutes. and that for 10minutes I work on one aspect. it really helps to focus and concentrate. because even if you hate a certain aspect, you can do it for 10mins. (inspired by Joan Bolker's book)...and also Knowing you only have 10mins to spend on a particular aspect, really motivates you and focuses your mind...

I am going to put in the hard work and become more focused on the "essential" issues, topics and subject matter for my thesis, instead of getting distracted by tangent subjects that are only loosely related to my phd subject matter and worrying about revising for my viva and instead fully concentrating on writing the thesis first.

I hope you understand that my desire is to complete and submit my thesis by the stipulated deadline. I appreciate that the task will not be easy but I have no choice but to complete my thesis before the deadline and I endeavour to do my best to produce a good standard of work.

I cannot thank you and **** enough for your support to date and look forward to your continued support and guidance.

Kind Regards,
Lara

I appreciate you helping me with targets and time plans.

Right now I don't feel like I have much of a thesis, it's all zero drafts and I don't feel like I have anything concrete to show you at this moment. But I will bring it all together and produce a plan of how I think my thesis should be presented, with outlines and notes, to show you in a week's time.

I recognise that I lack the ability to write and produce high standard scientific writing which is why you and **** had to work so hard on the papers I had written, in order for them to be worthy of publication. I really do appreciate all of the work you and **** put in.

...I will work very hard in the next 3 months and am aware that it will not be easy but I have completely cleared my diary of any other commitments, and I will be writing non-stop in order to get my thesis done. I will also read and understand and revise everything that is related to my subject in preparation for both the mock viva and real viva.

I appreciate the burden and time that it is going to take you and Susan to help me with my thesis, for that I am deeply sorry and extremely grateful.

even though i was soooo tempted to tell him how much he upset me, and what he said was unjustified, and say that i should have worked on my thesis instead of papers. i did not... instead i wrote:

Dear *****,

I have noted the comments made in your email and I can only respond by saying that I have done my best to try and complete my thesis and it has always been my intention to complete my thesis, however, I do recognise that it is I who has to take full responsibility for the fact that my thesis is not yet complete. Now that I have this ultimate deadline, I would very much like to be given the opportunity to try and submit a thesis.

Hey BB, oh cool your phd is in genetics too! we will have to use each other as a sounding board one day then! my mphil viva was traumatic! my examiner asked me questions like, how many genes are there in the genome! and i didn't know. it's been plauging me recently, so i looked it up. 25,000 protein encoding genes in the genome.

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Hey Reda, thanks for asking, you're so nice :)

Yeh I just emailed my supervisor, I wrote an email and got my best friend to check it and edit it, incase i was too emotional. she did just that, and I have attached it below.

Thank you for saying such nice things, I really appreciate it :)
I will try my best in writing the thesis, that way i know i did all that i could, even if i do fail. And i want some good to come out of all of this, if other people can benefit from my experiences and mistakes, than that's good :)

and Joan Bolker says "that even in a short block of seemingly mindless writing (power of unconscious) you will occassionally , on rereading your words find something you didn't know you knew"

I'm also just about to start this. i have to work on the results section of a chapter, and i'm stuck, so i'm going to try the freewriting (which i've done in the past, to sort of get the ball rolling) and it really does work!

so try it and see where it leads you

i know you can do it!

and Joan Bolker points out to people that go , omg only 10minutes thats crazy, but says "but you have so far not been able to write anything"..

and that mathematically it's an "infinite" improvement.

once you've done 10minutes than build it up. and then go back to the mess and highlight things that might be useful.

so don't stop for anything, don't stop and look back, don't cross anything out, and it's fine if you want to repeat the same thing over and over again. but the point is "keep writing, even if you hate it, you can do it for 10minutes"..

here's an extract from joan bolkers book that might comfort you:
I read her book daily, whenever i am frozen with fear, or guilt, i find it very comforting.. and highly recommend it. in the months of my writers block, it was the best thing i did, getting this book and reading it.

"when you sit down to begin a piece of writing, your first aim ought to be to make a mess - to say anything that comes to your mind, on the subject or off it. not to worry at all whether your stuff is connected logically, to play with your subject ......"

so your first task is to sit there for 10minutes, and write.. freewriting about the subject, anything at all about the subject, how you feel about it, what you don't like what you do like, anything. you can write for 10minutes, that's doable. no matter how horrible it is, you can do it for at least 10minutes. of course you wont just do 10mins a day everyday and get it done, but it's a start..

i too in a week, have to show my supervisor a draft of the results section. i have spent far too long reading about the subject and reading papers, and have done very little on the actual results!! eeek. but i will try to pull together something. anything to show her.. something to show is better than a blank piece of paper..

also in a couple of weeks, need to show them my entire thesis and what i have done so far ! so will make a rough outline of my entire thesis in bullet format...

you can also say at your meeting, after you have shown you draft, the rest of its in my head but i can't articulate it. they can't prove it's not in your head! and you're already confessing that you don't have the ability to fully articulate it. :P

or if you think it's not going in the direction you like, then point that out. at least you know in your heart, you have given your best shot and thats all that really matters, not dissapointing yourself. do it for yourself..

visit this website, which really helped me when i was suffering from writers block and guilt:

http://newkidonthehallway.typepad.com/new_kid_on_the_hallway/2006/03/writers_block_a.html

you have two choices, you can either spend this week and pull together a zero draft, a rough outline of what you think might be worthy to add and tell the other people, or you can confess you have not done anything. the thing is, when you give them the outline or zero draft, they wont know you only did it in a week.. and tell them, most of your ideas are abit random and scattered and still in your head and you're working on it, but here's a rough idea or plan of what might help. or tell them, you still haven't quite finished the analysis, it's taking you alot longer than you originally anticipated but you're working through it, and then tell them you've done 30% of the analysis and so far the results seem to show , x y z, or say i need a little bit more time to fully understand what the results show...

set your stop clock (i'm being serious here and not metaphorically) and write anything ... even if its just remotely loosely connected to the subject, you need to write about... and in the midst of the chaos you might find something..

even write about what you are scared about, what you don't like about the subject, what you do like, what you have found, what you need to work on, something. anything. what your happy about the subject and what makes you uncomfortable and unhappy...

Shani I totally understand what you are going through.

okay for starters, don't beat yourself up about not having written anything for a month, loads of writers have writing block, it's probaly fear that's causing the writer's block.

i am sure in the midst of the primordial soup thats swishing in your brain about what you do have, there probably is worth something to write about it! but you just have to find a way to extract it.

Joan Bolker talks about this fear and suggests, 10minutes, of free writing...