LOL at sjo4 about endnote throwing a hissy fit! so true!! so many times it has done that, where the document just freezes. so yah totally agree with you on backups!

backups is the MOST important thing you must do whilst writing.

i once read. your computer is in two states. always think like that

1. its crashed.
2. its about to crash.

make backups, weekly, daily. external drives, dvds, usb keys, online virtual. print out stuff, have your friend have a copy of your ongoing work at her house. being paranoid is key! i've heard nightmare stories of phd students losing their entire work, cause of lack of backup.

talking of which, i am backing up everything tonight onto dvds. and even then make 2 copies of dvds, because dvds can also become unreadable. and get an external harddrive too. cost about £60 from amazon. its worth the investment, trust me!

oh i haven't thought about how to do table of contents and headings. do you use word to do that?

i know that i don't want to waste any more of my precious years on this phd. my supervisors still thinks i need to do more experiments, but i will refuse, i rather fail and move onto do something else, then be stuck in that lab and doing experiments i know will never work and be sentenced to another year. so i will simply write up my thesis with the data i have, and let the examiners decide, whether i fail or pass. i would rather fail, then be told that i have to spend another year doing more experiments, especially on an experiment where i know is not going to work. sometimes you have to learn to pull a plug on something. doing something over and over again will not change the outcome..

(i just randomly came across this old message, i was googling miranda)... hence why i'm a couple years late lol.

and besides I had no backup plan and didn't know what else to do as job wise or career wise.

that pivotal moment, walking and wanting to quit, i wish I had the courage to do it, but it's now been 8 years!

and my mom saw how depressed i was yesterday and said, if i was really that miserable i should have just told them and it would have been okay if i did quit and it would not have been the end of the world..

but now, i'm just going to try my best to write my thesis and be over and done with it. and then move onto and find something i really enjoy and am happy with....

Looking back I wish I had the courage to quit in my first year. So good on ya Zara, for doing what you thought was in your best interest!!

But I was so scared to dissapoint my parents and my friends and family. After the first year was discounted because the project was complete tripe, I started again on a new project with a new supervisor. But after the first year, I should have quit.

Looking back, I had this moment, where I REALLY wanted to quit but felt I could not, as my parents would be so dissapointed and angry, and i would let everyone down.. i felt obligated to see it through.

anyways enough downloading on you guys, you all have enough on your plate as it is... but i do appreciate your help and empathy and understanding and support and encouragement...

but it's definately helped me to talk about it. i've kept it inside for so long. now that it's all out there, i feel better...

i once read someone that psychologically when you write things down, that trouble you, they no longer have that much hold on you.. that it's therapeutic to write down things that are troubling you. otherwise they keep going around and around in your head..

and also sharing definately helps.

i'm going to get some dinner now, i haven't eaten all day.. i think i will start afresh tommorow.

thanks everyone! i'm so glad i accidentally came across this forum, it's been a lifesaver

you all are so kind and wonderful!
thanks for your support.

lol i havent even submitted my thesis or even written it! and i'm worried about the viva. i should first write the thesis and submit it and then worry about revising for my viva.

but it's like past bad experiences can play havoc with your confidence.. and it doesn't help that my supervisor tells me that i write very poorly, so don't feel confident in my writing and makes me feel that i will fail my viva because i don't know anything about my subject and don't understand it, and wont be able to defend it.

---

Thanks everyone for your support, you all really really helped me.

I will now put it behind me, and move forward, and no point thinking over and over again about what i should have done and what i have not done. i will try my best everyday...

I am so dreading the meeting with my supervisor

i also keep thinking and dreading the viva. my mphil viva was horrible, and i cried during my viva, when the examiner made me feel like the stupidest phd student in the world, because i did not know how many genes there are in the genome. i wasn't aware she was going to ask me random questions like that, and at the time, my project was rubbish. i almost wished she failed me so i didn't have to continue, but she said, learn everything there is about genetics!
now i feel paranoid that i have to know everything, and i think i get bogged down with tangents that are probably not really relevant to my subject.

great advice BB you're right! I wont grovel and you're right i shouldn't assume complete responsibility. even though right now i do feel like it's completely my fault. but you're right.

okay i will keep it brief and just arrange a meeting and tell them i will make a thesis plan. and wont justify what i have been doing for my thesis.

thanks BB!!

problem is, QMUL have set the deadline of sept 1st.

but the examination forms have to be sent to SENATE house, and they wont accept a phd thesis unless 4 months have elapsed. so yah will explain that to QMUL

thanks!

talking of which, have you sent off your examinatioon forms?

this whole phd has just been a nightmare. i feel like it's been a jail sentence for the past 8 years. i put everything else on hold and always felt guilty about doing anything that wasnt "phd" stuff. even supervisors make you feel guilty if you have a life, and expect you to work 24/7. and always say, when i was a phd student, i worked 7 days a week!..

i so wish in the first year, i had just quit and did something else. i thought everyone would be so dissapointed and my parents devastated. but now my mom said, you should have if it made you this miserable.

but now i must prevail. i just gotta give it my best shot and see what happens. i told my parents if i submit and i fail, or i fail my viva. at least i tried, and it wont be the end of the world. my mom was totally understanding and said, it doesnt matter if you fail. just try your best right now.

hey BB thanks for your version! that sounds much better !! you're a star. i will send that version:)

well no, you're right. I REALLY want to submit by sept 1st deadline. but I am worried, that because I have not sent off the examination forms yet (i am still waiting for them to come in the post) and they take 4 months to clear. you have to send the examination forms 4 months BEFORE you're allowed to submit your thesis to the senate house.

and i recieved the email from QMUL in the middle of may. and then in brackets they said, examination forms take 4 months to clear!

also, JUST incase my supervisor tells me to do a shedloads of extra writing and write an extra chapter, i want to know just incase i miss the deadline what are the repurcussions. but yeh, i am totally aiming for the sept deadline.

I am willing to put in the hard work and become more focused on the "essential" things and topics and subject matter for my thesis, instead of getting distracted by tangent subjects that are only loosely related to my phd subject matter and worrying about revising for my viva and instead fully concentrating on writing the thesis first.

I have read a couple of books on how to write a phd and I hope I can put into practice what I have learnt about writing. But I know I am not a good writer, but I will try my best to produce as good enough polished versions of my chapters as I can.
Regards,

I appreciate you helping me with targets and time plans.

Right now I don't feel like I have much of a thesis, it's all zero drafts and I don't feel like I have anything concrete to show you at this moment. But I will get it all together and produce a plan of how I think my thesis should be, with outlines and notes, and show you in a week's time.

I am afraid I am not as intellectual and a good scientific writer, hence why you and ***** had to work so hard on the papers I had written in order for them to be worthy of publication. I am very appreciative of the work you and **** put in.

okay here's a draft:

Dear [supervisor],

You're absolutely right, I take full responsibility for my thesis not being completed. I cannot explain fully what I have and have not been doing for my thesis. But that's all in the past now. Now that I have this ultimate deadline, I would very much like to be given the opportunity to try and submit a thesis.

I will work very hard the next 3 months. I have completely cleared my diary of any other commitments, and I will be writing non-stop in order to get my thesis done, and I will read and understand and revise everything that's related to my subject in preperation for the mock viva and real viva.

I appreciate the burden and time that it's now going to take you and ****** to help me with my thesis, for that I am deeply sorry. If there is anything I can do in return for your tremendous help with my thesis, please let me know.

And I have no idea how to respond to my supervisor's email. Any suggestions?

I was thinking of writing something like the following... Using Dale Carnegie's advice, of how people always want to be "right" and admitting to one own's failures first. i highly recommend his books by the way! (how to win friends and influence people, and how to stop worrying and start living).

Is there any way I can have my registration with QMUL to remain active IF I do not meet the september 1st deadline?

I read the QMUL guidebook and it says that late submission after the deadline, is liable to a £250 late fee. So if I don't meet the september 1st deadline, I would have to pay the £250 fine?

I would like to know what my options are just incase God forbid that I fail to meet the deadline.

Thanks so much.
Kind Regards,
Lara.