I really hate questions, even though I know my topic, once someone asks a question my mind goes blank

Exactly. As soon as some audience person starts talking I pretty much can't think at all. From their first word, my mind goes blank, so much so that if a question is not incredibly easy (as in I could answer it in my sleep) I'm just lost.

This is my first ever presentation on my project so I had no idea what sorts of questions I will be asked.

The only positive thing from the whole experience is that my project seemes to be generating a lot more interest than I thought.

Ooops igonore wrong forum

Cont.

Just wondering if anybody else had similar experiences and did you just ride it out or seriously considered quitting? This was my best chance to make an impression as all big deal people were there and I failed miserably

I beleive that if you can't do things well, then better just don't do them at all. So what is the procedure for quiting? Do I fill in some form or will I need to discuss this with someone? At this stage, I just want out.

I also felt almost like my supervisor who has been incredibly supportive so far was kind of showing off with the "big deal" guy and went into far more detail than necesseary while completly ignoring my discomfort of standing there. It was just a complete disaster. Worse still, I had people come up to me afterwards telling me "That was good" in that "Feel sorry for me" tone of voice.

So I have presented in the department seminar and I'm very unhappy with how I went. The talk itself went ok, but I was really stuffing up the question.

In fact I couldn't answer most of them, there was one guy in the audience who kept asking ton of questions and I just didn't even get what he was talking about (and he is pretty big deal so I know he wasn't talking complete rubbish). My supervisor was answering for me and I just stood there like an idiot while they discussed things for 10 minutes or so.

I kept thinking how I am never going to be able to discuss that topic at that very high level. Looking at them I feel like I'm not good enough and never will be. I feel that even if by some miracle I manage to get a PhD, I will be unemloyable and never a true expert in the field I'm doing research in. Best I can hope for is mediocricity (and I know I have spelt that wrong too).

So I have presented in the department seminar and I'm very unhappy with how I went. The talk itself went ok, but I was really stuffing up the question.

In fact I couldn't answer most of them, there was one guy in the audience who kept asking ton of questions and I just didn't even get what he was talking about. My supervisor was answering for me and I just stood there like an idiot while they discussed things for 10 minutes or so.

I kept thinking how I am never going to be able to discuss things at that level. Looking at them I feel like I'm not good enough and never will be. I feel that even if by some miracle I manage to get a PhD, I will be unemloyable and never a true expert in the field I'm doing research in.

I beleive that if you can't do things well, then better just don't do them at all. What is the procedure for quiting? Do I fill in some form or will I need to discuss this with someone? At this stage, I just want out.

I didn't use my superivisors name and already have an idea on how to do go about funding, our department offers some support for traveling expenses.

Yeah I slightly regret not consulting anyone now and am almost more worried about telling people if my abstract gets accepted than if it just gets rejected - and I don't have to say anything.

Ok submitted my first ever abstract. Wish me luck
I'm about 99% sure I will get rejected but since I haven't told anyone I'm not worried about it.

Does anyone know how long does it usually take to hear back from conference people?

And if your abstract gets rejected noone but you is notified right?

I have done few presentations in my dapartment and have abstracts of those written out and checked over. I feel like I would like to present at a conference and do some traveling (even if it's still within the country only) and there are couple of conferences next year that I could possibly present at. I'm thinking of going ahead and submitting an abstract without consulting my supervisor. She just has very outdated views (such as that PhD students shouldn't present at conferences) and I don't feel like talking to her about this. Also, if I get rejected I don't want anyone to find out :)

Do you think this is ok to do?

It depends on what type of person you are. I told mine about my chronic illness so that I can get reduced hours. I ABSOLUTELY hate people viewing me as sick though, so even though I cringingly told at first and all seemed well, I have never had that much use out of it. I look healthy, and because I tend to act that I'm feeling better than I really an in front of pretty much everyone, I think supervisor almost forgot about my illness. I also don't bring it up much at all. Sometimes I get the impression that he thinks that I'm just lazy and "faking it" despite the medical certificates.

So do tell but nly if you are prepared to keep asking for help or time off when you are feeling sick.

I'm just worried about my employment opportunities if I do medicore PhD project. Then again I don't want to "rock the boat" as I'm sure my supervisor means well and is trying to help and I'm worried about damaging perfectly good relationship.

Maybe I should just get PhD out of the way and concetrate on "proving myself" afterwards? Any thoughts on this?

At first I thought I was really lucky to have a supervisor that is commited to my project and that stays in contact and we have meetings all the time.

My project is pretty weak (as in anybody could do it) for the most part. But there has recently been a part that was going to be more challenging and I was looking forward to that. I was already seeing how good it will look if I managed to solve this in my thesis defence presentation.

But, before I had a chance to even look into this (we are talking few days here) supervisor has already contacted me to tell me that he has already found a simpler solution to this and that it's good for me because "other approach was just too complex" . I'm even going to ignore a personal implication here that he didn't think I was capable of the more complex approach and concetrate on the practicalities. Yes, his approach works well. Yes it's going to be a lot less work and will save me time. But it will keep my project looking completly medicore.

Tiger, you are probably a lot better than you think.

BTW cc,

When your supervisor said that you are middling did it upset you?