Congratulations, Dr! (up)

Hi dotdot,

Very sorry to hear how bad you're feeling, and that it seems to be getting worse. I know this sounds very obvious, but have you actually talked to your supervisor(s) about this? I know that it is a difficult thing to bring up, but they may be able to reassure you that you are being too hard on yourself. Similarly, you could see a college counsellor. I know you said the woman in your office is being very supportive, but you should let your supervisor know.

ALso, if you do decide to leave then it's really not the end of the world. It will not make you a failure or any less intelligent or accomplished a person. You are not defined by your research and if it's just not for you then it's better to find out sooner rather than later. Not to say that you're not up to it, but you shouldn't feel required to stick with it just because you've started.

Congratulations, Dr. Donzy! great news; was all worth it in the end. (up)

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I agree with Lindalou - they are generally professional relationships and for many reasons don't develop into anything 'close'.
For a start, they have to be able to view everything you write/say objectively - if you start to see them as a friend then that becomes harder for you both. Also, there is an inherent imbalance in the relationship: they are your main point of contact for years of isolated research, but they themselves deal with MANY students and probably several other PhD students. They may even become a kind of spectral presence when you are working since you know they will read whatever you write, etc. But, from their perspective, they simply don't have the time or inclination (usually) to be sociable personally. It's nothing you've done, so don't worry about it. :)

Yet to receive any PhD-related (mince) . Now that's my number one frustration.

Very interesting post, Bejesus. Thanks for taking the time to share it and good luck finishing. :-)

Threads like this are very important, so thanks for starting another one! As several people pointed out, may people only come to places like this when they are really in difficulty. It's like reading reviews of restaurants/hotels online; most people only take the time to write something when they want to vent!

So far (9 months in), I'm really enjoying the experience. I love being in control of my own work, and that my work is learning more about my passion. The main difficulty for me is definitely trying to get the work/life balance right. Because of the nature of research you always feel behind - there is always another book (or fifty) to read and there is no boss to tell you to go home at the end of the day. But because I'm generally interested in my topic I find myself doing work even when I 'give myself' a day off!

Hi,

I'm surprised to hear your account of the office environment. I would have thought academics recognised that people work best in different situations (especially since many academics are private, introverted types!). In fact, supervisors should be happy if you can work independently at home rather than needing constant contact and chats. Even meeting every 2 weeks seems like A LOT to me. Are you a social sciences/science student?
Anyway, you should definitely stand your ground and not let this stop you from moving. I wouldn't frame it as a question. I would just tell her politely and suggest email contact + meetings every X number of weeks.

Hi,

I'm surprised to hear your account of the office environment. I would have thought academics recognised that people work best in different situations (especially since many academics are private, introverted types!). In fact, supervisors should be happy if you can work independently at home rather than needing constant contact and chats. Even meeting every 2 weeks seems like A LOT to me. Are you a social sciences/science student?
Anyway, you should definitely stand your ground and not let this stop you from moving. I wouldn't frame it as a question. I would just tell her politely and suggest email contact + meetings every X number of weeks.

I'm not sure what a 'senior research fellowship' involves or means to be honest, but I imagine that having a PhD will make you qualified to do research at a 'senior' level. I mean, research fellowships are given to PhD students, so a senior one is just a way of distinguishing them from that, or am I wrong?
Either way, well done on being offered the job. I am sure that they have offered you it because you have what it takes. I think any job you take is going to be stressful and I would go for it!

Welcome, BME. :-)
Lucky you having a PhD partner who will feel your pain!

The original posts are from nine years ago, Oortiz. Hopefully the situation has evolved since then!

Is your office owned by Mac, by any chance?!

You can't compare percentages across countries/continents. Unless you are doing a very quantitative masters, it would be virtually unheard of to get 79% in a UK/Irish course. A Masters with distinction is (generally) >70% overall, but even this is relatively rare.

A pass in a Masters is the norm - even for PhD candidates. Some universities don't even distinguish any other grades (i.e. merit or distinction) - it is simply pass or fail. If you get a distinction it is easier to get funding, but not having one would not prevent you being accepted into a PhD programme.

That's really funny (and good!). What were the problems before? my supervisor has a Mac and I don't, but there haven't been any problems with documents to my knowledge!

I'd add to your list:

Motivation
Dedication
Inspiration

I'm sorry your supervisor has said this. Did he not elaborate on why he ''feels'' it's not for you?