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Hi Human,

Sorry you're in that situation - I can imagine how frustrating it must be! I agree with Lindalou's advice - try see what your options are, but email him in the meantime. If you have more chapters ready to be read then I think I would attached one in an email and I'd include something like this:

''I realise you are currently reading through my chapter X, Y, Z, but I have attached chapter P. I was going to wait until I had received feedback on X, Y, Z, but I thought you might prefer to consider the four of them as a group.''

He sounds quite resistant, but I think sometimes you can will someone into doing things simply by describing the process to them... If he's not ''currently'' reading your work, he may move it up his to-do list. Also, I like to describe things as though I'm trying to do them a favour ''thought you might prefer...''
Good luck!

======= Date Modified 08 May 2012 21:49:03 =======
Shared research credits rarely apply to the relationship in the humanities. I don't know of any PhD students who have co-written papers or books with a their supervisor (before or after graduation). Obviously it still helps towards their internal research credits, but I'm not sure how highly its weighted. For example, in the eyes of the university would supervising 1 successful PhD be equal to publishing X number of papers? It is an alternate way of building up your profile. The 'star' researcher in my department has much fewer PhD students. Presumably he doesn't need them (draining his time!)

Hi Ian,

Many thanks for your helpful advice and insights. Your presence will be missed.
Best of luck with all your future work. (up)

Congratulations, Dr. Smoobles! Best of luck with your job. :)

Hi Linda,

I agree with Button; your supervisor may just consider it more efficient to get straight to the areas that need work, rather than praising the bits that don't. Some do see their role as predominantly providing constructive criticism. Some people are lucky enough to have supervisors who understand the value of framing everything positively, but most seem to think we can handle a more negative approach.

Don't lose heart - when you get down to adjusting your writing things may not seem as substantially different as they do now. Give yourself at least a day to process the feedback and lick your wounds, then try to see the feedback in as positive a light as possible. After all, it is better to hear this now rather than during your viva. (up)

Well done! Enjoy the freedom :)

Hi Delta,
Sorry to hear it, but very understandable! Thanks for all your helpful advice and best of luck with your job search. :-)

Ah, congratulations Dr. Dalmation! delighted it went well for you and that your Viva wasn't traumatic. That's interesting that you think they only read parts of it. While I presume they would have to discuss things a lot among themselves in that case, it goes against the whole point of having a coherent and cohesive thesis if they never have to follow the argument from start to finish!

But that is neither here nor there, the main thing is you're through. Enjoy the celebrations (up) 8-)

A very interesting post, Bejasus. Thanks a lot for sharing your insights. I'm going to look into the books/tapes your recommend. I need something, anything to lower the stress levels - and I'm already exercising and eating well. :-s

Hi Zen,

I don't have any children myself, but there is a thread on PhD parents here that you might want to look at:
http://www.postgraduateforum.com/threadViewer.aspx?TID=21309

I definitely think there are bonuses to having a child during your PhD as opposed to during the years directly after it. As you note, we can work mostly at home and have flexible schedules. I think it probably just depends on your temperament. I would be worried that I would become too stressed with the added pressure on my time and that this could reduce my enjoyment of the experience. But I suppose this would probably be even more difficult if you were working in a university! I think that if I was in a supportive long-term relationship then I would definitely consider the PhD to be a good time to start a family. :-)

Congratulations, Dr. Smoobles! Glad you had such a positive viva experience. Enjoy your celebrations!

Congratulations, Dr. Naturalme! Very well done. (up)

======= Date Modified 08 Apr 2012 18:16:34 =======
Does your university have a graduate students' union that organises events (usually with free food/drink!) for post-grads? It can be a good way to meet other post-grads who are feeling similarly isolated (those with a lot of local friends tends not to attend!)

Have any of you heard of 'couch surfing'? It's first and foremost a networking site for sociable/poor travellers to find places to stay (couches to crash on), BUT you can also join groups by location and often there is an active community who to meet up (based around a certain interest/activity). Members tend to be people who genuinely enjoy making new connections, so it might be worth check out. :-)
http://www.couchsurfing.org/search/activity/in/current

Hi there,

I completely understand how you feel - I'm similarly perfectionist - but I think you just have to accept that a PhD is research, and the big picture is what's important. If you are on the right track and making progress, then that has to be 'enough'. There is no 'A' to validate your work, and inevitable constructive criticism has to be taken as such: the negative comments do not mean that you are not trying hard enough or that your supervisors think you are stupid. They just want to make your work even better. This is the nature of academia and the PhD process - you have to become good enough at your subject that you can give it the seal of approval (when you no longer have a supervisor to do so).

I have to remind myself this a lot. Like you, I always want my work to be as good as possible and I can beat myself up over silly errors. But, I think being aware of your perfectionism is an important part of getting past it. Try to remind yourself that you set standards so high that you can't constantly meet them. :-)

Hi Heidi,

Firstly, I commend you on how well you seem to be handling this awful situation (even if you don't think so). What you are going through is an extreme case and your university should definitely be able to make an exception with regard to deadlines. Even if means you have to be more open about your situation than you might like. These people are human and I'm sure they will have some compassion.

You have obviously done the vast majority of the work and to have so many publications you should feel confident that you can put your daughter and your personal situation first for now. You WILL submit when things have settled down a bit. Like others have said, get support in your university and on here. Look after yourself.