======= Date Modified 19 Apr 2012 10:51:56 =======
Heidi,

Glad to hear things are working out for you.

From your PM (you put me 90% of the way there), I've worked out exactly who he is. Nope, the family won't want bad publicity, which puts you in a strong barganing position come the divorce. Families like that (though not all families from that sort of background are like that) can and do treat people like disposable commodities - a very 18th / 19th Century 'elitist' attitude if you like. You really are best out of it and they aren't worth the position they perceive themselves to be.

In all sincerity, the very best of luck (and hugs) to you and your daughter. The sooner you leave and are out of your husband's family's sphere of influence, the better.


Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

P.S. Sorry I've been quiet, work and a close relative's health have taken up my time.

======= Date Modified 05 Apr 2012 10:32:54 =======
My former University regulations stated "The minimum font size should be 11 and a maximum of size 12 for the main text. Appropriate fonts are Arial and Times New Roman." Spacing was to be set to 1.5 or 2 lines. The examination / research guidelaines for your University should have such information explicitly stated.

The specific guidance I received was as follows:

* Times New Roman 12 point was to be used for general text;

* Arial 12 point for figure or table body / content text - I would drop figure or table text down to 11 (or even in rare cases 10) if I had problems with too little space;

For headers, I was told to use:

* Arial Bold 14 point for main chapter headings;

* Arial Bold 12 point for main section headings (i.e 2.1, 2.2, etc.);

* Times New Roman Bold Italic 12 point for lower level section headings (i.e. 2.3.1, 2.3.2 or 2.3.2.1, 2.3.2.2, etc.) - I never went beyond a fourth level of header (i.e. 2.3.2.1 or 2.3.2.2);

* For Table or Figure Headers (not body / content - see above), Time New Roman Bold 12 point (not italicised).

The Thesis front sheet was in either Arial or Times New Roman 24. I opted for Times New Roman.

I was also told never to use more than two fonts, thus I stuck to the Times New Roman / Arial guidelines I was given above.

Tempting would have been to use Old English Text throughout. :-)


Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

General advice is Universities don't work to a timetable recognised by the rest of the world. They could tell you straight away or go completely silent for ages. It took three months for my application process to be completed.

If you've heard nothing after say two weeks, I'd get in touch and ask what the progress is with your application.


All the best,


Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

Heidi,

I'm surprised you only asked for six weeks. Given your circumstances, I think you'd be okay to ask for more time if you needed it.

That said, you've probably now got a manageable deadline to work to as you need to devote time to your daughter too. Hand in, concentrate on her and move on so to speak.

It's good that you're slowly getting sorted out.

Chin up, the finish line is in sight!!! (up) (up) (up)


Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

I wish we could import our own profile pics. I've one of a tiger I use elsewhere.

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

P.S. Delta, PM sent.

Yes, be polite. "I'm sorry if you're busy, but it seems you sent my application to the wrong address."

There is the chance your application has gone astray and you need to make sure this hasn't happened.

Handled correctly, if the person you contact is involved in the selection process it could work in your favour. You could be seen as efficient, organised and polite.

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

======= Date Modified 30 Mar 2012 15:15:17 =======
Are you in the Channel Islands per chance? Seriously, don't answer!!! Your reference to 'Royal Court' suggested that.

Finances aren't going to be a problem to see you through and I'd be out of the bedsit as soon as possible.

Why do you feel a failure if it's your husband's family that's initiated all this?

Reading between the lines (sorry if I'm being presumtuous), I sense other things (reference to 'all those beautiful women at work') and that's even more reason not to blame yourself.

You're clearly still in love with him despite everything. Perhaps if his family was out of the picture, you'd get a clearer picture of how he felt rather than how his father felt. However, I wouldn't in all sincerity hang your hopes on that.


Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

Delta has spoken some good sense and contacting the Uni. mental health department / counselling is the way to go.

Most Universities have the option to go from full time to part time, so this should not be a problem. There's be some admin, but from the above that is clearly the best option for you. I understand your remark that you feel if you stop, you'll never get going again.

As regards the admin, you need to ask for something called a 'Change of Mode' / 'Change of Study Mode' form to be filled in, which depending upon your University has to be filled in by both you and your primary supervisor, to be later approved by the head of the research committee. At my former Uni. this was a two page form that with other relevant documentation was downloadable from the Uni. website.

Fingers crossed you get through this difficult period and in just a few years time you post on here to say you've passed viva and got your PhD.


All the best,


Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

Heidi,

I don't think I can add anything extra to what others have said, except you need to concentrate on what is most important to you. Your daughter is everything and you need to do your very best for her.

The PhD can and must wait if possible. How can you concentrate? The University must have a suspension of studies option available in what even they will recognise are extrodinarily difficult circumstances. For a situation like this where your husband has kicked you and your (and his) daughter out, you need time to sort yourself out with more permanent accomodation and to being the difficult process of divorce from him. Perhaps the post traumatic stress disorder is making him behave irratically, but to either throw you out of his life or to control you in the way you describe suggests he is possibly a very disturbed individual. His own family must see he needs to seek help if that is the case.

If you cannot get this extra time, then there are plenty people on here that will offer you moral and emotional support during your last few weeks. Also pop by your University Counselling Service so that at least you can talk to a real flesh and blood person.


Chin up, you will get through this. Just know that there are decent people out there who care.


Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

Well done!!! Enjoy the rest of your life!!!

I don't fully agree as I believe preparation in the form of background revision of current knowledge and what you're expect to know did help me, as all bases were covered and that gave me extra confidence in examination that I wouldn't be tripped up by lack of knowledge of a basic detail.
However, the viva is very much about opinions as you're being examined about material that is new to the subject area. Scripted answers don't help with cutting edge research as much of an area can still be up for debate and discussion.

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

Thanks again Ady!!!

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)