Have you looked into the possibility of funding to do a Masters? I don't know how much might be available - and it wouldn't be as generous as PhD funding - but with First Class Honours and a teaching background I'd think you'd be a strong candidate.

Same goes for a PhD though, so might be worth hanging in there and trying again.

Hi

I'd be surprised if your dept. were offering funding to someone who wasn't 'PhD material' - I think you can safely assume you're up to the job! Yes, it all seems a bit daunting and it would be hard work - but no harder for you than for anyone else. And as has already been pointed out, you could always just start and see how it goes.

I wouldn't be too put off by the worry that you're not sure what you'd do with your qualification. At the end of the day, surely it would open up more possibilities than it closed off? The whole baby/career thing is going to crop up whatever you're doing. Still, if you really can't see your doctorate taking you anywhere - if you don't fancy an academic career and don't see what other use you'd put it to - I guess that's not exactly a recipe for success. Maybe you should talk to someone about the career paths/options of Geography PhDs?

It doesn't sound like there's anything else really tempting you away from the PhD, like the offer of a dream job, so I'm inclined to say do it and keep your options open. (Obviously the picture changes completely if there's something else you know you'd rather be doing!) I suspect you're just suffering a case of nerves about what you'd be taking on, but I'm sure we've all been there - as I say, it doesn't sound like you have any real reason to doubt you could do it.

In the present economic climate, just knowing you've got a living wage for 3 years is nothing to be sniffed at either.

The flip side of Bewildered's reply is that it seems plausible that if it came down to a tie breaker between you and an equally qualified student for PhD funding, teaching experience might just swing it. (How true that is and how much it matters, though, will obviously depend on the level of competition for funding, whether the institution you're applying to is bothered about teaching experience, etc.)

Anyway, from what you say it's not just about the teaching/MSc balance - it's about the teaching/MSc/'unrelated boring job' balance. If you're planning to work 2-3 days in term time anyway, why not aim for to 2 days 'boring job' and 1 day's teaching, say?

I think Pamplemousse is right to draw your attention to the health/possible discrimination issues here... There seems to be an assumption here that your pregnancy can just be handled 'by the book', with you taking maternity leave at the appropriate time, but I don't see how that can be right if it hasn't been a by-the-book, healthy pregnancy. And it does sound as if you're in no state of mind to press on with the work they're demanding - maybe there's another health issue there with stress or depression.

You need to take some expert advice I guess, but it sounds to me like the demands being made of you are unreasonable in light of your health situation.

I did my MA at a Uni that sort of distance away, and always felt like I was at 'arm's length' from the department and its staff and students (as I was only around for scheduled seminars and not able to socialise much or attend talks by visiting speakers etc.). And it did get to be a pain, and rather isolating, doing the dissertation while living a four-hour round trip from the library (!) and with only occasional meetings with my supervisor to go in for. Because of that experience, I thought I'd get more out of my PhD if I was able to participate in the wider life of the department and make more use of uni facilities/training services etc., so I decided to do it closer to home.

Having said all that, I don't see why it shouldn't be perfectly *possible* to do a PhD at a distance and only go in to uni for (say) monthly meetings with your supervisor, plus the odd library visit (assuming we're not talking about a lab-based project here!). It's more a question, I think, of what opportunities you might miss out on (e.g. teaching work, attending work-in-progress seminars & talks by visiting speakers, training in research skills etc.), and how you'd feel about commuting, working in isolation etc.

If you were happy to do that commute a couple of times a week, there might not be an issue at all.

Congrats! You're right that people shouldn't be put off applying for posts/funds just because competition's tough... if I'd paid too much attention to all the "Funding? For an arts PhD? HAHAHAHAHAHA!" you hear, I'd be back in some office job now instead of looking forward to my doctorate.

Thanks Sinead, I hope I've helped.

I suppose one thing that's conspicuous by its absence in my advice is anything specific about structure and signposting.

It's never quite as simple as the old chestnut: “Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them what you’ve told them”, which suggests a simple 3-part 'introduction-argument-conclusion' structure, but that's still a good rule of thumb.

A good essay, even a shortish one, will have a lot of: "In part 2, I'm going to do so-and-so; this will enable us, in part 3, to assess the merits of such-and-such" and "Having established that so-and-so, let's now move on to consider the implications for such-and-such" and "However, there is still the lingering question (already touched on in part 2) of such-and-such" and "I will defer discussion of this question until part 4, by which time we will have a much clearer idea of such-and-such". Don't let your reader lose track of where you've been and where you're going.

Thinking in these terms will help you as well as your reader, because it will help you identify what's essential to the thread of your argument and what's tangential and can be safely relegated to footnotes and brief asides. If you can get all this clear in your mind at the planning stage, you'll save yourself a *lot* of time later on.

Sinead, I know where you're coming from with this one. When I started my MA I'd have thought 12,000 words was enough to tackle a subject inside out, but by the time I actually came to write my dissertation, I'd realised you NEVER have enough room to do full justice to all the relevant ideas.

My subject area is philosophy, so you'll have to decide for yourself how applicable the following is, but my advice would be:

* Be realistic about what you can achieve and how much ground you can cover - scale back your ambitions if necessary.

* Keep a clear focus. Exactly what are you arguing for?

* Be selective. You don't need to consider *every* possible argument and counter-argument; just tackle a few well.

* It's OK to make reasonable assumptions you don't have time to defend - just be sure to spell them out.

* You don't have to *ignore* complexities/paradoxes etc., just don't get bogged down in them. It's OK to say things like "this essay is not the place for an examination of the controversy surrounding X (since my concern is just with Y), so in what follows I'm just going to assume such-and-such". In one of my (distinction-standard) essays I came right out with: "In order to keep the scope of this essay within manageable limits..." and briefly referred to certain material I'd be ignoring in order to tackle one narrow area in more depth. (I hadn't even *read* the wider material really, but I knew it was there, that it was relevant and that there was no way I was going to be able to tackle it in 4,000 words - so I said so.)

* Footnotes can make the difference between a so-so mark and an excellent one, since they enable you to show the examiners that you've researched and thought about the topic and are aware of issues/authors/arguments you just don't have the space to tackle in depth. For instance, at one time I had a thousand-word section on metaphor in one of my essays, but it just wasn't *that* important to the thrust of my argument; so I cut it out, leaving just a quick "Other thinkers have emphasised the role of metaphor" in the essay and adding a sixty-word footnote sketching two thinkers' views on the subject. (Be careful on word counts obviously, footnotes usually still count.)

In summary: keep a clear, fairly narrow focus in the essay and if there are complexities/controversies/assumptions you don't have the space to deal with, just acknowledge them briefly (maybe in footnotes) and move on with your main argument.

Sounds like a no-brainer to me... just as you're getting fed up with what you're doing, someone swoops in and offers to whisk you away to an exciting new project? How often does that happen?

Well, that's a bit of good news on the health front at least. Just because you don't need *medical* help though, doesn't mean you don't need practical help of some sort - so I'm sure it's still well worth your while talking to a counsellor and your supervisor.

Just because your doctor doesn't think you're clinically depressed, of course, doesn't mean you're not at risk of *becoming* depressed. So as well as talking to someone who can help you put things in perspective (and take some practical steps towards finishing your degree), try and remember to do the obvious things to look after yourself - eating & sleeping properly, keeping active etc. (I know it's hard to work up the motivation to go to the gym or for a walk when you're feeling down, but it really will help you feel more positive.)

Sorry, I feel like I'm patronising you now - not my intention. Best of luck.

Sinead, remember that it's in *everyone's* interest to help you finish your degree. No supervisor, no tutor, no university wants to see students fall by the wayside - they want people to succeed. (Apart from anything else, it looks better for them!) And there *is* an understanding at universities of the sort of pressure students are under, and the way it can overwhelm them sometimes.

If you really need to leave to safeguard your health, of course you should do so - but you shouldn't take a drastic decision like that until you've talked to some people who can help you put things in perspective, take steps to improve your own state of mind (whether through counselling or treatment for depression, or whatever else) and suggest some practical ways they could help you finish your degree (extensions, deferring the dissertation etc.).

Everyone on this forum is happy to help as much as they can with words of advice and encouragement, but at the end of the day we can't *really* help you the way a counsellor, or your supervisor or your doctor could help you face-to-face.

Very best of luck Sinead and look after yourself.

I'd just like to second that reply - don't torture yourself wondering about hidden agendas etc., just talk to your supervisor and clear things up. I'm sure 'crossed wires' is right.

I wonder if this head of dept. is just one of those people who's not very good at dishing out praise and enthusiasm - I've had experiences myself where a tutor has seemed distinctly lukewarm in discussions about my work, but gone on to give me excellent marks. In the end I decided to interpret his 'lukewarmness' as evidence of the fact that 1), he felt it more important to focus on constructive criticism than praise and 2), he had very high expectations of me and hence wasn't too amazed when I lived up to them!

My hunch is that you'll tie yourself in knots if you try to do the research as you go along - what happens if you're 10,000 words in and come across something that changes the whole picture? What happens if you're 10,000 words in and realise you've been sidetracked for the last 4,000 words (easily done!) because you're not clear where you're going?

I once convinced myself that the thing to do with a 12,000 word essay I was writing was just to get a complete draft together - however messy - and then revise it till it was perfect. Big mistake! I was up to 14,000 words and nowhere near finished before I finally accepted I needed to go back to the drawing board and rethink exactly what ground I was going to cover. I probably wasted at least a week working on material that I ended up binning.

I'd resist the temptation to start writing/planning for now - I know it's nice to feel you're making progress ("1,000 words today - at that rate I'll be finished in 3 weeks!") but I suspect you'd be better off giving yourself a couple of weeks to do the research, mull things over, try to settle on a position you want to defend, start jotting some ideas down etc. Then when you DO sit down to start writing, hopefully you'll have a clearish picture of the finished article in your mind and be able to genuinely work your way through it from beginning to end rather than throwing words onto the page and seeing if anything sticks!

I don't think you've left it so late you need to panic. 2-3 weeks research, 4-5 weeks writing and a few days to revise it sounds doable. Hard work, but doable!

Literally, that would be "It is, in fact, that one cannot see it without laughing" (I think!). So a natural-sounding translation might be "In fact, you can't see it without laughing" or "In fact, you have to laugh when you see it".

Pseudonym - I'm not sure why you think the fact that you'll be teaching at primary level makes working as a teaching assistant less likely... my wife's a primary teacher and at her school (which admittedly has more than its fair share of children with special needs of one sort or another), there are typically two teaching assistants in each class. In her experience I think a lot of support staff (teaching assistants, learning mentors etc.) are people who intend to train as teachers at some stage.

Some of them change their minds when they figure out how hard teaching actually is, of course, and quite a few of them are ex-teachers who wanted an easier life! Since you've asked for advice, I'd have to be honest and say I would think very carefully about staying on and getting that PhD if you think it would keep other career options open to you further down the line. My wife's a highly committed teacher but still says she can't see herself staying in the profession for more than 10 or 15 years - it's just too draining. The holidays are really not all they're cracked up to be (e.g. my wife did at least 30 hours of planning and report-writing over half-term), and the hours during term-time are pretty outrageous. 8.45 - 3.15 sounds modest enough, but by the time you factor in time spent planning, marking, maintaining the classroom (tidying up, making displays), attending meetings and training sessions, preparing resources etc. a realistic figure would be 50-60 hours (say 8.00 - 5.00 weekdays plus 10 hours evenings & weekends). And that's not to mention the mental/emotional drain of dealing with the job's inherent frustrations and difficulties, e.g. coping with violent and disruptive behaviour, trying to give children with special needs the help they need without neglecting the rest of the class, and being required to follow a curriculum that may be wildly inappropriate for many of the children you teach (e.g. covering sophisticated maths & literacy topics when half your class can't yet read or add 2 and 2).

Oh, and my wife is also fond of pointing out (when I suggest that her job is at least secure) that it would only take one slightly-too-hard tug on a child's shoulder in breaking up a fight, or one false accusation of a shove or a slap from a pupil, to bring the whole thing crashing down. (This does happen, alas.)

Sorry to be so utterly negative - and in fairness, I should point out that my wife insists on working in particularly difficult, inner-city schools; it can't be that hard everywhere! - but I really do get the impression that many if not most teachers become jaded and/or burn out long before retirement. If you're in a position to have a 'plan B' up your sleeve, therefore, I would be inclined to do so!

Best of luck with it anyway - I admire anyone who has what it takes to be a teacher. I wouldn't last five minutes!