Having come to the rather obvious conclusion I work best if the right music is streamining into my ears via Youtube ( for various reasons this is the best option for me to get to music whilst working on things), I am now running out of ideas of things to listen to, that are in a certain genre, and am wondering if any one can help me build a play list, so I do not have to sit with static in my ears, wondering what to listen to next!

I have been enjoying music along the lines of the below and would be so grateful for any suggestions along these lines...

Counting Crows--Raining in Baltimore
Counting Crows--Rain King
Counting Crows--Murder of One
Counting Crows--Accidentally in Love
Natalie Merchant--Kind and Generous
Natalie Merchant--Give Them What They Want
Natalie Merchant--Noah's Dove
Natalie Merchant--Stockton Gala Days
REM--Driver 8
REM--South Central Rain
REM-Don't Go Back to Rockville
Melissa Etheridge and Bruce Springsteen--Thunder Road
Jimi Hendrix--All Along the Watchtower ( when I really need to be energised, this song never fails!!! 8-)
anything Dan Fogelburg
anything sort of bluegrass-y, roots folk music, Celtic, or English

======= Date Modified 14 Sep 2008 19:28:10 =======
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Just one more thought, sorry to go on and on, but hearing about situations like this really winds me up. I understand about what you say on how hard it is to talk about these experiences, or to report them. You can be made to feel as if somehow YOU did something wrong, or should have handled it differently, etc., and its a very hard thing to bring up to someone. It can be one of the hardest things you ever do, and in bringing it up, you can re-experience all of the trauma and the pain. The power of forcing silence on this sort of behaviour is profound. Like I said, its all too common, but most people have kept the experiences to themselves, and are surprised to find out how widespread it is and that it happens to women of all ages, colors, appearances, etc.

YOU did not do anything wrong. The feelings you have are perfectly understandable given what was done to you. It takes courage to approach this situation head on or at all. Hang in there. I have been there and I know how hard it can be--but you can also find your way through it. Don't let some ($)*£$£)*&&&& rob you of your PhD.

mope

Which is a long winded way of saying you can get through this, but do realise there are some real reasons why this has taken such a toll on you. You have been attacked at the very core of your being, and it can be very damaging and hurtful. Society does not teach women how to be appropriately assertive, IMO, women are taught to be concerned about pleasing people and pleasing men, and we all know the jokes about aggressive/assertive women. In some ways I am glad I went into law if for no other reason than it teaches you to be able to argue and assert yourself. I am not saying you have to turn into a hard mean person to survive, not at all, you do not want this experience to rob you of who you are, and it will not. A social worker friend of mine once told me that experiencing emotional distress when you are in a dysfunctional environment is the sign of having healthy emotions. You got burned once in this environment, rebuilding trust takes a lot more than an apology from the supervisor that let this go on, you probably do not know how or who to trust in this environment, and your feelings are screaming out loud to protect you from harm again.

I think the supervisor should be concerned about rebuilding this relationship with you, not the other way around. Can you approach him and tell him that you are unable to feel confidence and trust, and you want to talk about why, and hear his suggestions on how he can rebuild the bridge?

I hope you feel better and I hope you hang in there. I think its complete C*** that this ever done to anyone. Sadly, if you talk to women you find that this is all too common, and people feel ashamed and do not share the experience. Its complete C*** that this was done to you, and I think that your supervisor has a lot to make up to you to make this situation right. And the next time someone starts in like that, just look them in the eye and say, B**** that is harrassment and I will not stand for it. **** off. That sends bullies away.

being a female in a heavily male dominated profession or environment can be intimidating, and I can totally sympathise with this situation. I understand how it brings on feelings of being frightened, panicked, etc., because at some level the intimidation that you experience is geared to do just that. It is possible to feel this feelings at a very deep visceral level, where its difficult to rationalise them, but they are there nonetheless, residing in the 6th sense. People have a difficult understanding this unless they themselves have been in a situation where this has been done to them, and then they will completely understand. I have read some articles where this experience is described as an injury to your spirit, and indeed it is. It is very wounding.

Practicing law in a very conservative and male dominated environment was no picnic for me. I heard my share of demeaning sexist remarks, had inappropriate comments directed at me, all done to try to show me I was not wanted or to intimidate me during cases. I was around male attorneys that would curse a lot ( not in the court room) and I think sometimes it was a show to intimidate me. Not saying my response works for everyone, in every situation, but to cope, I just decided to fight fire with fire. If they told a sexist joke, I would say hey, I have one, and tell one about men and then laugh and laugh as if it were the funniest thing ever. If they cursed, I cursed as well, and worse than them, which again served to make them uncomfortable because they thought women shouldn't curse. The idea was not to become one of them or even to stoop to their level, but to simply fight fire with fire...to say hey, I can take it and whats' more, I can be pretty darn good at dishing it back.

In time the situation mellowed out and they quit trying to intimidate me, but yes, it cost a lot inside. When I am plunged into professional mostly male situations, I can feel a sense of belligerence, and a don't mess with me attitude inside, outwardly I try to be calm and polite, but if someone is inappropriate, I let them know I do not appreciate it and will NOT tolerate it.

Smart casual at least-no way jeans! Think about it. You are in a role of a lecturer, people are paying money for the education. If someone showed up to teach me in jeans, I would seriously think that I was being disrespected. It sends a message, what you wear, and jeans are for bars, for casual wear, or for being a student, but if you are in a role of offering your skill and knowledge through teaching, jeans conveys the message that you do not care, you are apathetic or too casual...

tide

spine

lime

spite

slice

mine

dart

stack