"all my friends who began their PhD with a 'lets find out about' plan have dropped out or gone massively over the completion date (up to 5/6 years full time)."

I was a 'let's find out about' person.. it took me 3 years full time and 1 year, 4 months writing up whilst working full time...so I'd say about 3 years, 9 months if I were to do it full time..

Nailing down your research too early could mean you sail through the first year and a half and then find out that what you've been researching isn't novel enough... or that you're way too focussed on one area etc..

I'd suggest you look at your research like a funnel.. you start off broad, but in one particular research area.. and every month, you get more and more focussed... that way you have a broad knowledge of the area and can justify why you chose one approach over another and why you chose to focus on X,Y and Z...

I did a PhD for all the wrong reasons... but was 100% determined not to quit. Did I want to break into the research world and make some earth shattering discovery? meh.. Did I want to become a lecturer from an early age and help infuse knowledge into young minds? Nope.. Did I have a passion for my research? *snort* hahahaha.. no...

1) I didn't want to get a job
2) I liked the Uni lifestyle and got on well with my BSc supervisor
3) I liked the idea of having the 'Dr' title.
4) I found the idea of a blonde haired woman with a large chest holding a PhD most amusing as it challenges a number of stereotypes.

Do you think... sometimes.... there is a danger of taking things *too* seriously? I mean, don't get me wrong.. I was totally freaking out over my viva and writing up took over my life - but perhaps it's a good idea to put a humerous slant on the PhD without knocking its value?

Are you doing a PhD that requires you to be in the lab 8 hours a day? if not, I would suggest working from home...

I suppose it depends how you want to play it - I mean, you could either try to be 'nicey nicey' and continue to try and be friends with them (which I suppose you could do for a quiet life - certainly not weak) or you could just think 'sod you'.. invite loads of your mates over for a chinwag.. and they could all go on about your incurable rash and ask how your contageous disease is...

Of course, you could just get one of your mates to phone you whilst in the lab and the idiots could overhear 'Yes, everything is fine thanks.. the people here aren't very friendly, but hey.. I hear that's what jealously sometimes does to you'

On the other hand, no.. don't do that - that's the kind of thing I would probably have done... Hope it gets better soon

Don't quit. What happens when you get a great job (as I am sure you will) being a lecturer, or in industry and the same kind of thing happens? You'll quit your job and find somewhere else? Yes, it's crap and it's upsetting - let's not deny that, however there are idiots and horrible people everywhere.

I'd approach your PhD as you do, a job - it worked for me (however I was lucky and had a lovely research group) it's NOT your entire life.. and you don't *have* to socialise with these people outside core hours.. So they're nasty and rude? sod them, quite frankly.. I would suggest looking for external activities... even look to other PhD students in other departments, just for support.

And when you HAVE made other friends, you'll probably find the morons actually become a lot more bareable.

Don't think you're at fault.. and don't quit.

'PC Geek, 55 minutes! Wow. One would think your external hadn't thoroughly read your thesis '

I don't think he had.. and he was in a real hurry to leave... he didn't stay for lunch and literally rushed out after telling me the result - my internal had pages and pages of questions, however after the external professor said 'Ok, that's me finished' she took his body language to mean he was in a hurry so asked me 3-4 token questions and said 'that's it'...

She told me afterwards I was bloody lucky as she had found flaws in my research (the ones I had already identified and was ready to defend) but said as I wasn't pulled up on them, I just had to make minor changes to the thesis..

I think this is probably the only 'better' thing I can hold over my partner.. he got a first in his BSc, finished his PhD 6 months earlier than me, earns more than me... still, his viva lasted 2.5 hours...

I'm taking it to be a petty and shallow victory

Depends completely on the external examiner.. I had a word with my supervisor about mine and he told me the kinds of questions my external has usually asked - he was apparantly hot on 'research methods' (something my thesis didn't mention) so he asked me about them and one of my minor corrections was to add a section to do with research methods.

My viva was odd as it only lasted 55 mins and I felt a total fraud as all the examiner did was ask me very generic questions.. 'how do you see a virtual organisation?' and 'Do you feel you could have done this bit better?' Was very odd.

Have you identified all the 'holes' in your research and justified them and are you able to back up every decision you took?

I totally agree with 'all you need is motivation'..

I'm sure some people will think that the PhD degree has been diluted after reading this post, but hey.. I've got one (or will have in 2 months when I graduate) so I feel slightly qualified to talk.

I failed my A level maths degree, didn't get the points required to get to the Uni of my choice, but they accepted me anyway as I was a woman on a male dominated course....I got a 2:1 in my BSc and went straight onto my PhD.

My PhD was completely tailored to my strengths (so no maths) and I found it easier in parts than BSc modules... I think the hardest part is slogging away, re-writing and re-writing things, getting more and more corrections and keeping up enough motivation to not give up...

It's NOT all about being 'amazingly clever' or about being able to kiss ass... so I think you'll do fine :)

Don't look at it as a failure - save what you have done and hopefully you can use it in your thesis. That's what I did with a lot of papers that weren't 'good enough' for publication...

It saved a lot of time

If you're on facebook, are you one of the members of 'arghh.. why did I do a PhD?' Cool group.. quite slow moving..

I guess it just depends on your personality.

The thing is... I've read and seen so many PhD students be total and utter doormats.. not have a backbone when their supervisor treats them like crap. The 'mystical PhD degree' is given so much worship, that certain students are so worried about not getting theirs.. that they take lots and lots of abuse as 1) They *must* be in the wrong, musn't they? 2) Their supervisor is so much more respected than them 3) They don't want to rock the apple cart

Whilst I would be the first to say I am a very loud person - I would only ever dream of being rude to someone who has been rude to me, and only then if it would hammer home the fact to them I refuse to be treated badly.

Maybe a more diplomatic approach is the best course of action, whatever you decide.. don't be a doormat

I'd talk to your main supervisor.. say that this other woman is a cow and jealous and that you don't want her opinion if all she is going to do is criticise you without any help... constructive criticism is always welcome, but criticism for the sake of it is pointless.

When you do see her again, I would make damn sure you look her in the eye and say ' Thanks, I'll take it into consideration' and continue to say that phrase over.. and over.. and over again.

Hopefully after a while she'll realise that, that phrase = 'Sod off you silly moo and be a bitch elsewhere' You MUST be good if you did OU off your own back and have got this far... ignore her.

I've heard and seen co-supervision... It can work incredibly well, especially if one supervisor has a huge workload. I had 2 supervisors and I know many friends at other Universities did.. I thought it was actually a legal requirement now, at least on paper - that way you can't turn round and sue the Uni if you fail by stating you had inadequate supervision... When my number 1 started annoying me, I talked to number 2... and vice versa...

I think you did make a mistake, simply because you had a good, close relationship and I can see why he might feel betrayed. I would certainly email him saying you really value his expertise and ideas and hope your impulsiveness is forgiven - then leave it at that.

Certainly not just a PhD thing.. when I started in the scary world of work, we were allowed to work at home on Fridays for certain projects - cue my unemployed friend 'Oh.. I'm bored, can I come round?' comments every Friday and the other friends 'I'm popping round for a cup of tea'

I personally WOULDN'T want to work at my partners house (if we didn't already live together ) as why? I mean, if you're there to work.. you work and then you see your partner in a more relaxed, chilled mood as you've done all your work...

If my partner was moaning about me working round at his.. I would think that was slightly needy - I mean, you're working during the day, regardless of where you are so I would continue saying 'no' .. as soon as you 'give in' you're doomed for another 3 years!

I think in some ways you're being a bit harsh to your friends and family...

I mean, some people don't have any support at all... they have crap friends or parents and siblings who don't even know or care they are doing a PhD, let alone attending a conference...

My non-PhD friends and family didn't really 'get' what a PhD was, but they *did* show interest and for me, that meant far more than asking the 'right' questions... so what if they didn't ask me about my new research objectives and instead asked me if my supervisors wife was still being a cow to my friend? at least there was communication there....

Not everyone will 'get' a PhD... but that doesn't mean they don't care

Depends what Uni and what your supervisor is like. At Reading I took holiday off as / when I felt like it... I didn't do anything 'formal', just informed my supervisor not to expect me in on the following dates...

I think I took about 4 weeks a year... however did tend to go home early on Fridays etc..