sometimes I have a little crisis & wonder if what I am doing is a bit pointless......

Insomniac I know this may sound a really stooopid question given your username but do you have problems sleeping generally or is it just when you get really stuck into your work?
You could try taking some herbal valerian suppliement & I would really recommend trying a meditation before sleep. You can down load a few free good ones from iTunes that will help you with deep breathing and relaxing your muscles, this will guide the brain into the alpha-state - the most relaxed form of wakefulness before sleep.

You have been through a bit of upheaval mentally & emotionally- the viva is a big deal & you have done extremely well, so I do think you are being hard on yourself. It isn't really suprising you are having a bit of a mental slump and feeling down about it - I hear this is fairly common response afterwards -I guess its just a mental release after the tension.
However, I also think it is human nature to fantasize about how it could have gone differently and the things you could have/ should have / would have said ...only if and to imagine it being much better in retrospect.
Where as I'd never put it in "get a grip" terms, I do think you need to relax and say what is done is done and allow yourself to feel good about what you have achieved rather than be worried about what you didn't say or do. You have done so well - give yourself a pat on the back

( UK residents do you remember Trevor & Simon of swing your pants?! - didn't they say give yourself a pat on the back?)

Relationships are hard and a PhD makes it even harder sometimes in a way tat only someone else who is doing one can understand...it's very difficult for b.f to empathisize what my life is like on a day to day basis & I receive a lot of negativity from his family, who basically think I have given up work to doss about. They still ask me how my little college course is going and what sort of job I might do eventually- despite the fact that I have had succesfull career in tha past, and now lecturer PT.
My b.f is a high earner and I am being framed by his family as some sort of black widow/gold digger and the more they go on the more uncomfortable he seems to be with me finishing the thesis and him paying the mortgage even though ironically it was him who gave me the final push when I started and said "go for it - I will support you".

Thank you for all your kind replies everyone -made me feel loads better
Am a bit in limbo at the moment somewhere between trying to work it out & leaving.
It's wierd because we're not arguing or anything -just neither of us is happy at the moment.

*sigh* I don't know what will happen, but thanks again guys it feels nice to have someone albiet virtual who understands. xx

I know we have had topics along similar lines about people having non-academic partners etc - but my relationship is under a lot of strain at the moment - some of it PhD related & some of it not. I won't bored you all with the minutia but it looks like it may be the end of the road for me & my b.f. Has any one else had an experience of a break up / moving out/having to find somewhere new to live. Everything is in his name and I have not been making any financial contribution to the mortgage. Despite making what I see as other contributions ( mainly time & energy) this doesn't really help me on a practical level. I am seriously thinking that I will have to take some time off to find a FT job to cover costs etc.. & it all seems so daunting on top of all the emotional effort & having to take a break from the one thing that is going really well i.e the PhD.
:-(

btw Ann - something tells me you'd be GREAT on the telly. Maybe you could do a Trisha like advice show?!

wow Bobby - thats v. cool. I have been approached by an 'expert' agent with a view to doing some talking head stuff. Have meeting with a producer in a few weeks. I have worked in TV news before -but behind the scenes which is quite different.
My b.f is a TV/radio presenter and he thinks its great but I am really nervous and worried I will loose the ability to speak succintly or say something really dumb.
Did you have to do a screen test or auto-cue?

Are people taking time off?

I have just finished reading On Beauty by Zadie Smith and there is a great bit of dialogue between a married couple having a row over something quite mundane. The husband is a proff, and he argues with his wife in academic speak and she is like f*** off with your "critical analysis", blah blah blah fool.

I do that too - I mean use academic lingo in non academic situations. I saw a man with a funny plaited beard the other day and I asked the person I was with if they thought it signified membership of a subculture ? :-$

jojo you can't possibley quit now. Sorry you are having a crappy time (PGFT is crappy OK?)

If you have actually started writing up you are so near and I know it must seem quite the opposite with all this stress - but reall hang on in there - something will happen/change with the stoopid super.

xx big hug.

good luck for tomorrow fluffymonster

OK, thanks for the ideas and encouragement with the hotpants everyone.
Special Hello to Piglet as well - hope all is well & you're nearing the end.

Today I discovered the most hideous blue checked Burberry handbag in my Mum's wardrobe , which she assures me is very very very old, pre-all saints, pre- cherie blair & pre chav & she claims she can never remember purchasing such a thing.

However, I have been most inspired & I am going to seek the finest velour track suit type get up £10 will buy me.