Shani: No, you haven't over-interpreted. It's true that they think that because my "work" is flexible, I can do things for all of them whenever they require me to, because I can do my own stuff whenever I am not doing their stuff. They just didn't count on the fact that there are other people besides them who want my time. I'll take your advice to be more assertive over my work, and definitely am going to be less emphatic towards people coz I really have a resource issue!

Ah, thanks a lot for all your advice. We've been together for 5 years, in an on-off sort of relationship but during our "off" periods, we're still stuck together. He's pretty emotional and now that he's not giving me a chance to talk to him and not responding to my SMSes which try to explain my situation, I seriously don't see how I can get through to him. Guess it's kinda hard for me to just say goodbye to him and move on coz of the long duration of our relationship, and the fact that he's my first bf.

Thanks for the advice. Most of the time, he doesn't tell me he wants to meet me till the day itself. And often, if I'm working at home, he'll call and say "I'll see you in 5 minutes". Then I'll have to throw aside everything and meet him. After that, I find difficulty switching my mind back to my work because I'd be so tired listening to him complain about his officemates.

My grandma too is complaining that I don't talk to her these days (she sleeps with me and I work in my bedroom so when I'm on the computer doing my work, I either get really engrossed in my work or I can't concentrate because she's talking to me all the time).

I'm seriously wondering right now if pursuing a PhD is the right move when it seems to be interfering with my relationships with people. Am I just a terrible time and relationship manager? How do you folks cope?

Lately, my bf has been requiring a lot more of my time - on the phone, hanging out, going on holidays, and because I'm so attached to him, I say yes all the time. He seems to have gotten used to that, but I was really worried for my work and the semester has begun (which means more teaching, grading, research responsibilities) so I did mention to him that I needed a little more time to do my work.

A senior returned from Canada last week and we had a pre-arranged dinner for her to meet with a bunch of other classmates. Unfortunately, my bf asked me out on the same day for dinner and when I said I couldn't, he got mad at me, and now is saying that he's busy whenever I smsed him, and he refused to answer any of my calls. I'm wondering if I did something wrong by rejecting him that day, but I did honestly have a prior appointment...

Hi,
I'm new to this forum, and I chanced upon it while surfing Google for "PhD breaks relationships".

I'm doing a PhD in my hometown, and I live with my family. For the last few years that I've been in the program, I've felt like I had to make a choice between one or the other. It seems that doing the PhD well requires ALL my time, and professors have been telling me that I need to put in 130% of my effort and work 10 hrs a day, 6 days a week.