======= Date Modified 25 Mar 2011 09:30:13 =======
Thanks JoJo. I hope all is going well with your corrections!

I've gone from feeling really unhappy, very tearful and apathetic etc etc to feeling rather angry! It just feels like a complete waste of my time! I would have got myself a job if I had known this was going to happen.

External cancelled it 12 days before the viva because he felt my thesis was too long (120,000 words) and no other reason. I submitted in October 2010, so I've spent a long time working towards and psyching myself up for this viva. I'm desperately trying not to see this cancellation as anything more than an overly long thesis.

Examiners have around 3 months to read a thesis (according to my supervisors) so I'm looking at July or August for a new viva (they haven't found a new examiner yet). Knowing that I'll have this looming over my head for about 4 months until a new viva  and a year at the most to sort out corrections. I still don't know whether I'm going to pass this PhD in the end- I may end up with an MPhil after all this- which will probably finish me off! It will take around 6 years to finally finish this PhD or MPhil if they decide to fail me. Anyway, I'm going to focus on fighting for a PhD rather than an MPhil.

In short, I still feel like I've failed, I'm unemployed (but looking for work) and I'm surrounded by family members who keep telling me that this is my fault for submitting an overly long thesis (and I can see their point).

Thanks for the all the replies. It's very helpful to read different interpretations of this devastating news and these responses are helping me cope with this. Thanks for the continued support. I really appreciate it. I'm feeling a little better today. I'm concentrating on finding a new job and staying clear out of unhelpful and unsupportive family members and generally trying to distract myself from negative thinking.
:-)

======= Date Modified 23 Mar 2011 20:09:24 =======
Heard from my supervisors. They had no idea I received the letter! The letter was supposed to be sent this week as my supervisors wanted to warn me in person before I received the letter. The letter was sent via the registry not from my supervisory team. Their trying to find a replacement asap so I can sit the exam asap.

I'm feeling a little better, but I still feel very deflated, devastated and upset! I'm trying not to think the worst, but I gather the new viva date will probably be around July or August which is just painful!!! :-(

Hello and thanks for your replies.  Well following from this forum, I've made the first step. I've sent them an email to them just saying what happens next. Also pointed out that I feel devastated this has happened so close to the viva and that I feel like I've failed. I know my main supervisor said she would not be around for the actual viva, so there's a possibility she may not have heard this news- I doubt it though.

I'm going to spend the whole day in central London with a friend away from my thesis and away from laptops- before I start bawling my eyes out again. :(

Thanks Woof- your message has really touched me, so thanks for your reply.

The letter was sent on the 17/03. I've heard nothing from university :( other than that letter that I received on Saturday. All I know from the letter is that my external refuses to mark it because it's too long. When I submitted, my university said that the viva will probably take place in Feb, then it was moved to mid March as a possibility, then both examiners agreed on the 1st of April as a definite date. Since submitting, you can imagine my nerves were already in shreads wondering when the exam will take place, let alone focusing on preparing for it.

I don't know what my supervisors are doing in finding a new examiner. To be honest, I'm terrified what my supervisors will say which is why I haven't contacted them. I'm desperately trying to stay positive and not think the worst (ie a failed PhD) but I can't help it! I feel very alone and isolated from my university-which is probably my own fault for not contacting them.

I just want to put this thesis behind me and move on. There's only so much I can take, let alone fight for an opportunity to resubmit for a PhD.

Thanks Delta- I'll try and take things easy.

On reflection, I have to take some responsibility here. It's my fault for massively exceeding the word limit and ignoring my university regulations on thesis word limits. Partly why I'm not telling my dad because he will 100% say that it's my fault this has happened.

I'm just going to take a break from this PhD and concentrate on trying to get a job and distract myself from this whole process. I'll be ok :)

Thanks KB and Dunni73.

After the last few days of feeling really very awful (ie confining myself to a dark room since Saturday, not speaking to anyone really-well apart from talking to concerned friends- and bursting into tears every now and again) I'm starting to feel a little better. My ex called me yesterday and wants to see me soon which has given me something to look forward to. At the very least, I intend to open the curtains and actually do something today rather than remaining under my duvet feeling sorry for myself. My dad was asking what's wrong with me yesterday so I must look visually upset- I'm too upset to tell him what has happened, but he will find out soon enough I guess. He signed for the 'recorded delivery' letter so he know' s I've heard some news from my university.

I submitted in October and up until Saturday, I knew that the final end point, at least in terms of examination was really very close. Since finding out the viva date in February, I had something to work towards and I was counting down the days. I have piles of paper round me and I've spent the last few weeks psyching myself up for this examination and thinking about life beyond this PhD. I've also spent a lot of time planning how to discuss how my work relates to my external examiners work- which is now a complete waste of time.

Now, I don't have a date, or an examiner and it just means that this state of limbo continues and it just prolongs the agony. It feels really cruel to tell me this so close to the viva date. To receive this news via an official letter also feels very cold and void of any supportive sentiments from my university. I still have heard nothing from my university- other than the letter that was sent last week.

I really don't think I'll actually make it the viva stage. I know examiners have 3 months to read a thesis, so if I make it to the viva stage, then this PhD could take SIX years to complete. If they do find a suitable replacement, I'll be wondering whether they would cancel it again which will probably screw around with my motivation to continue. There's also the added issue of whether I'll actually pass this in the end or whether they actually decide it's only worthy of an MPhil. I know I keep coming back to the possibility of an MPhil- but it is an issue for me and a recurring thought.

Anyway, I think I'm going to try and do something positive today and start looking for jobs. I received a lovely email from someone advertising a graduate job- ie he's strongly encouraged me to apply for it- which is positive I guess. I may also go for a long walk and get some fresh air.

Sorry to send such a negative post, but I'm feeling a little better today. I just long for the day when this PhD is no longer looming over my head.

Best of luck to those of you about to sit your viva. I'm very envious! Congratulations to those of you who recently passed.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Thank you for pointing out that this cancellation may be due to my external examiners workload- I did not factor that as a possibility. I know the admin lady said on numerous occasions that both my examiners are extremely busy academics and I know from conversations with my supervisor, that my external examiner takes some time to respond to emails which also suggests a very busy academic.

Given the amount of errors throughout- even though I've spent some time working on my acknowledged omissions/limitation sections and ways to improve my thesis, I still can't help but that think this cancellation was due to the quality of my thesis :( I still feel totally deflated and demoralised and I feel like I've failed.

I've had so many PhD related hiccups along the way, I was sort of expecting some sort of problem before the viva. I've had in the back of my mind that due to my long and overly rushed thesis, perhaps this viva would not take place anyway, so I was sort of expecting this. My reputation at my uni is probably destroyed beyond belief.

Also another thing, my supervisor said in an email not to worry about the word limit and just concentrate on submitting asap with a view to reduce everything down after the viva, which is what I followed! Also, the university accepted my PhD and started the viva proceedings, knowing full well that this thesis was over the word limit.

I really can't find the strength to contact my supervisors. The letter arrived either Friday or Saturday morning (I was in Birmingham from Thursday and returned on Saturday evening) and was also sent to my supervisors and the PhD director. I think their probably fearing that another external examiner would reject the PhD due to its size. I'm also expecting them to ask me to consider submitting for an MPhil so I can move on. I've always wanted to obtain this PhD eventually, but I feel like I'm losing my internal drive to continue, especially as I've faced numerous setbacks along the way.

Anyway, I'm going to concentrate on finding jobs and I'm also thinking about my career aspirations beyond this PhD.

Thanks for the support everyone. I just want this PhD nightmare to finish sooner rather than later.

======= Date Modified 19 Mar 2011 21:01:43 =======
Thanks Bilbo. I'm definitely not suicidal and I've got great friends around me. I'm just losing my patience and drive to continue on with this PhD. Wondering if i' m flogging a dead horse here! Maybe I should just cut my losses and just quit! :$ well maybe not that drastic (but that's how I feel at the mo!) :-(

======= Date Modified 19 Mar 2011 20:43:10 =======
Thanks guys. Well it states on the official uni letter that my supervisors need to find a completely new external examiner and one who is prepared to mark a very lengthy thesis. I was over the word limit by around 25,000-30,000 words so I understand the rejection, but I simply ran out of time to cut it all down. I was an ESRC student which perhaps explains the pressure to submit. I submitted shortly after September 2010.

Judging by this wait, it could take months to find someone new.

I feel embarrassed, humiliated and ashamed of myself. Reading between the lines- perhaps my examiner felt the corrections were too extensive, or it was simply cancelled to save the department from a failed PhD.

Why did they let it get this far or let me submit?? they knew it was a very long thesis :(
I've just completely lost the will to live and keep going! :$

I've delayed looking for jobs in order to prepare for this viva- a COMPLETE waste of my time.

Very bad news :(

Due to the length of my thesis, my external examiner has refused to examine my thesis and has therefore cancelled my viva. My viva was supposed to take part in less than 2 weeks.

This has to be a really bad sign and a high probability of a PhD fail!

I'm really disappointed and upset!

======= Date Modified 11 Mar 2011 10:36:32 =======
Arrrrghhhhhh!!!

My viva will take place three weeks from today- eeeeeeeeeeeeeek! OMG- I'm running out of time :(

Working through each of my chapters, I'm working on three documents....

1. Document 1- Specific viva questions on each chapter- ie why did you use this approach, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this method, why did you focus only on older people in your qualitative chapter etc etc.

Last week I collected piles of research papers written by my internal and external examiners. Following from their work, I've devised a list of questions that they could potentially ask me on specific parts of my thesis. I've discovered that both examiners used similar methods to me- so I'm trying to pull together how I could improve my chapters on the basis of their publications. These specific questions are a little scary though- but these questions are helping me think about formulating responses.

2. Document 2- Acknowledged limitations and omissions on each chapter- ie typos, missed references and references since my literature review.

I've been thinking about this document for months- ie thinking about my limitations and my many many typos and errors.

3. Document 3- General viva questions- Bilbo et al viva questions

Again, I've spent some time thinking about this- ie my contribution to knowledge, strengths of my thesis, hindsight type questions etc etc etc.

For post-viva people, do you think I'm on the right track with my viva prep?

PS- My stomach is really starting to flip! I feel sick!! Lord knows how I'm going to feel a few days before the viva! BUT, I can see the strengths of my work in relation to studies within this field. I'm just hoping all my work will result into a favourable outcome (ie resubmission) and not the dreaded MPhil.

======= Date Modified 07 Mar 2011 09:26:03 =======
Thanks Littlestar.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, deflated and sad this morning.

I have a mountain of new studies to work through. I want to be in a position where I can show some awareness of these new studies and show them that I've acknowledged that I'm aware of these omissions and I intend to integrate them into my literature review chapters. However, I don't want to spend too much time on this literature review stuff though as I'm running out of time!!!!!!!! But these papers contain useful discussion points and also includes comments on why my research is necessary and important for this field- so hopefully not a waste of my time.

In drawing up these publications, as I've argued in my the thesis, virtually all of these studies explore my two vulnerable population groups as two homogenous population groups. My thesis is one of the very few studies that explored the experiences of these two vulnerable population groups both as separate groups and as a combined group. By collecting data on both populations, unlike other studies (which makes my research distinctive) I'm in a position whereby I can ascertain the similarities and differences of peoples experiences of this particular service. I can also comment on whether the experiences of one vulnerable population group is representative, generalisible or similar to the experiences of the other vulnerable population group. This raises potential questions on drawing generalisations across vulnerable groups as a whole as I've found many differences in experiences of services within and between vulnerable group populations. Also raises potential questions and implications about quality of life between the two population groups or perhaps reflects a wider societal perception of supporting these vulnerable groups within services? Anyway, perhaps a another contribution to add to the mix? My examiners and my supervisors are specialist in one vulnerable population group, whereas I'm trying to identify and illuminate some speciality with two vulnerable population groups. Again, perhaps another strength of my work? I can add to the evidence base by developing publications on the two separate population groups as well as publications on exploring the two population groups in one publication. Or maybe I've just missed the point entirely! ;-) :$

Anyway, plan for action this week is to draw up a document of acknowledged omissions from my second literature review chapter and try and work on ways to improve my methods, results, discussion and conclusion chapters. I also need to work on viva preparation questions! eeeeeek I'm running out of time!!

I really hope they don't fail me! I feel like I'm in a nightmare on death row about to face the firing squad! Must crack on....... thanks for the support everyone
;-):$

======= Date Modified 05 Mar 2011 09:03:41 =======
Hello, just an update really.

I'm going to spend the weekend updating my literature review chapters and placing my findings in the context of very recent publications and social policy. In doing so, I've come across some key papers I originally missed from my literature review (although rather obscure references)!!!!! which has increased my worry and anxiety levels considerably! It shows that my literature review chapters are not as comprehensive as they could have been. It also perhaps shows that I'm an amateur researcher!!

How do I approach this one?!?! Perhaps admit these omissions, show an awareness of other relevant studies related to my research and discuss a plan of action to integrate them within a resubmitted draft?! I could say I wanted to focus on research exclusively carried out in the UK rather than integrating research findings from abroad (although perhaps a weak justification!).

On the plus point, these new pieces of evidence largely support my findings and also highlight the strengths of my work (ie new research). Reading these papers are also helping me revise literature surrounding my thesis.  I'm hoping I'm not making a mistake here or wasting my time by reviewing these papers! I only want to spend 2 days collecting papers and the rest of the time swotting up on my thesis. Equally, if their not going to let me resubmit for a PhD, then what's the point?!?!

I keep coming across mistakes in my thesis that only discourages me from looking at my thesis.I'm trying to stay positive, but I have no idea how I'm going to get through this viva in one piece!!!?

Anyway, in order to counter=act the negativity shown above,  I'm going to try and focus on believing in my self, increasing my self efficacy and trying to force myself to look at my thesis. I'm also working on challenging my negative cognitions by redefining this situation and focusing on my successful academic achievement from my past. For example, my internal examiner for this forthcoming viva wrote in my upgrade report that I have an impressively well structured and extensive thesis and I have the academic capabilities to complete a PhD.

I just want this nightmare to be over soon. I feel like I'm living in some sort of hell dimension!


:-(

======= Date Modified 02 Mar 2011 22:33:44 =======
I know people fail their PhDs and it's the stuff of nightmares for pre viva PhD students. Oh well, what will be will be I guess!! :$ I'm just going to have to do my best and fight for a resubmission, but I won't know for sure until the viva. I really don't know why I'm putting myself through this. I'm soooooooo tempted to cancel the whole thing! I will be disappointing so many people, including myself, if I don't pull through. Absolute nightmare. (Mental note to self, please stay positive!!!).

Anyway, sorry dark jester, I don't want to hijack your post with my worries.

I hope your friend is ok. It could have been an outright fail, so at least your friend is receiving a degree at the end of it all.

All the best

======= Date Modified 02 Mar 2011 17:32:17 =======
Hi Dark Jester.

Well my thesis was very extensive and very long (120,000 words) and they said that it's more than likely that my examiners lost their way with my thesis and lost the objectives of my work. My thesis includes a lengthy research question/objectives chapter, but I think given the amount of depth I've gone into with my thesis, it's perhaps understandable why confusion exists around my thesis area. Although both myself and my supervisors are pretty clear of my research questions and objectives, given the amount of different analyses and presentations of different things within my thesis, there's room for improvement in terms of linking everything back to my primary objectives. I know every social science thesis differs in some way, but in my thesis I've integrated a variety of different participant perspectives, collected data from all over the UK, presented four different studies (overall mixed methods), introduced new measures, developed sampling directories for further research and presented content analyses of six peer reviewed journals to show how under-researched my field is and also to highlight the originality/ contribution to knowledge aspects. Furthermore, my internal examiner marked my upgrade report and was extremely positive about my work and from his feedback from my 2nd year report he clearly understood my research aims and objectives. Simiarily, some of my studies explictly extend and validate some of external examiners previous work, so he will (hopefully) have a clear understanding of my overall primary objectives. Hopefully, both my examiners will have a clear understanding of my research objectives, but I know there's room for improvement in linking the different aspects of my thesis back to the primary objectives. I've had a clear series of objectives all along, it's not as if I've worked all these years without a clear objective- far from it! I just need to work on being concise and presenting crystal clear and punchy objectives.

Judging from the findings from my content analyses of peer reviewed journals and from the content explored in my literature review chapters, my thesis also taps into a very under-researched field so I'm pretty confident I can argue originality and contribution to knowledge. Also, I've deliberately explored and researched specific research questions that my external examiner argued needs to be explored. My external examiner is on of the very few researchers that specialises in my thesis area, so he will also know how under-researched this field is. In sum, I hope I can demonstrate some contribution to knowledge!
 
Given the amount of work I've put into this thesis, I'm hoping and praying that my work is worthy of a PhD rather than an MPhil. It's just a question of whether my examiners will allow me to resubmit for a doctorate. BUT, I know it's up to the examiners to make their final decision and not my supervisors! At the moment, I'm trying to block out negativity and focus on delivering the best defence possible, remaining positive and fighting my corner :)

All in all, I'm feeling more confident and positive about my work, all I want is my examiners to recognise the merit with my work and allow me to submit for a doctorate! I know exactly where I could improve my work and I know my thesis very well.