Brilliant news oz (came out ox first time, not good to say to a pregnant lady!). Definitely hormones, not sure about hormons though

Good news, Oz. I know my sister's son has just been here from Brussels sorting his accom. out for September, so I am sure lots of students are doing it before the hols.
Hormones...definitely hormones, totally not even you, so don't go there

Thank you so much everyone, you have helped me with this so very much.
I feel a bit better today, not dwelling on anything negative.
I do have a good, valuable project that I know will take me into post doc. level. If I can get through year 1 and get some results, I am sure it will be easier for years 2 and 3. I am going to put together a focussed proposal today and set about finding funding. I am also working on a website for doing scientific and medical writing (not for cheats!).
It seems like I am definitely not the first or last to have been disappointed, so this is a learning process for me and the sun did shine this morning

Hi and Welcome. I am just beginning...officially in September, unofficially for the last 3 months. This forum is great, we have even been known to have 'tea parties'

Hi
Thanks again. I am feeling slightly better. Have only told eldest son, not had the courage to even tell husband or the other children, maybe tomorrow. I am just focussing on the fact that I came up with my project idea, one professor at my first interview loved it and is willing to take me on without any secured funding. So, that is all positive. He has even applied for funding in his own name for my project to give to me. So, that may even come off still and I do love my subject. So, onwards and upwards, no more negative thoughts, tomorrow is a new day and the sun has surely got to shine as well

Thanks everyone, your'e all so kind and supportive, I am glad I have got you
I think one of the reasons I haven't told anyone is because they do think I am super Mum and Wife and therefore I will get a scholarship first time round, so I don't want to disappoint them. I never get low marks etc. so they are just not used to something not quite working out. Anyway, when I feel like I won't howl and cry, I will tell them. I know I want this PhD very badly, I love academics so I just need to 'regroup' my mind a bit and write out some goals and look at other sources. I will look at the link...
My Prof. did warn me it was very competitive. They only give out 2 full and 4 fees only and it is a high research Uni (Brunel University, West London). Only one nominee per school and neuroscience comes under the big Social Science school. I will get through it, will do about 200 lengths in the pool tomorrow and feel better, I think

I didn't get it, I didn't even get a fees-only one. They said the competition was tough, only one nominee per school in the Uni research dept. I think I am taking it badly because I am feeling out of my depth with my PhD, many doubts have been creeping in this week. I have so much work to do beforehand because it is a big project being squeezed into 3 years. I feel very low and don't even feel like telling the family. I guess I shouldn't have got my hopes up when I was willing to do this PhD without pre-arranged funding. The timing is just bad mood-wise.

Wow, emmantro, that is amazing, very nice gift, not that I would have known what to do with it. My first was so unplanned and I was so unready that I packed running shorts, size 6 jeans and psychology books to take to hospital. I looked at him for 3 days and had to be told to feed and change him. I thought the lady opposite was mad talking to her baby and I asked my husband to bath him. So, I don't think there is ever a right time and if it is a wrong time, they do survive...mine is now 6 foot 2 and last time I could actually see in his bedroom, he was still alive (That's why I had 6 more, I had some improvements to make, the 7th was a breeze)

Well done, I would have passed out

How are you all doing? How is your computer, 404? How is the work going jojo?
I am having last minute jitters about my PhD. Will hear this week if I won a scholarship, will be hard without it. I have gone over my proposal, which my Prof. has basically re-written and realized, I really don't understand all of it and there is loads to understand...feeling pretty thick too
But, I am going to make an attempt now to organize myself and prepare for whether I get funding or not and just to organize some papers and stuff. So will be here for a few hours....

'kom' nie 'kome', jammer!

'come' not 'coming', sorry! Rusty!!!

Ja, dis n goeie plek om al jou probleme te kome afle en om baie goeie informasie te kry.
(Yes, it is a good place to come and offload all your problems and get good advice )

lol, juno

I was born in the UK but grew up in South Africa where I did my degree in Afrikaans and married a South African/ half Afrikaans man. I can understand and read Dutch and if I speak or write Afrikaans, Dutch people can understand me, the languages are very close. So, I understood every word I have been back in the UK since I was married many moons ago

These things happen Oz, to the most intelligent of people
Energy...my father left me with the most precious genetic inheritance, the ability to function on very little sleep, a gift for which I am eternally grateful