Badhaircut – that was so well put what you said “I think the role of the supervisor is really underestimated in academia. Just doing a PhD is not enough for this, and there needs to be a pedogogical and pastoral training for this crucial job”.

Hear, hear!! I hope an academic is reading this and will do something about it.

Badhaircut!!! Don’t let the b*******s get you down!! Don’t do it!!! Don’t take up that attitude… if you do, you’ll be forever doomed. This is b******t! It’s only in your mind. If you think like that they’ll win. Don’t let them win. You worked damn hard for your PhD and you are worthy of a good academic job at the end of it, just like they were/are. Think positive, stay positive and it will be alright, I promise…!

Living proof… I was so determined to finish the PhD I think that’s what annoyed him so much. There was NO WAY JOSE I was going to quit. No way. So he spent his entire time concocting ways of getting rid of me. I mean he was totally obsessed. I really had to laugh… I didn’t know that somebody would put so much effort into getting rid of me!!! It’s laughable.

Yeah, a PhD is about going through the tough times and not quitting. Stay strong Living… something good will come out of this even if you can’t see this at the moment. I’ve come to the conclusion that they only bully the best. So stay as you are and keep going strong!

He was the nicest by far: first of all he sought me out above all the others – he contacted me first to ask me to come to the interview. And then he telephoned me to tell me I had the job which was a nice touch also.

However, the subject just sucked!!!!! I felt really awful about turning him down, but the subject just wasn’t what I wanted to spend 3 years of my life researching.

Anyway, I came to this conclusion AFTER I accepted the PhD. So I wrote him an email and said “I’m sorry but after thinking long and hard about this, I feel that this PhD is not for me”. It’s better that I said it now, rather than 1 or 2 years down the line.

I think I hurt his feelings because I never heard back from him. But he was the most human supervisor I had come across!!!

Rogue, it all happened so fast. The head of the other department interviewed me and said: pick four or five subjects from this list and go and have a chat with each of the supervisors and get a feel of things.

Firstly, what are the chances of a good subject that is tailored to my needs being on that list? There were no chances of course – they were just a list of subjects that I had to choose having been chucked off the original PhD I wanted to do.

I saw four supervisors, three of which I did not get a good feel for at the beginning. So I was left with one… He interviewed me and during the interview told me he would interview other people to make the process fair and would get back to me. He did interview others and he telephoned me personally a week later to tell me I had the PhD if I wanted it.

cc – thank you :o)

Xeno – thanks :o)

Second time around I will be researching the subject and asking a whole lot more questions before I jump in.

Getting on well with supervisor being one-in-a-million chance? What does “well” mean? What does one define as “well”?.

Ouch. Sounds like you are your supervisor are not communicating as well as you could be and this lack of communication may be leading to an all-out confrontation.

How to find the right supervisor? I wonder too. When you have found out please can you tell me… maybe I’ll be able to find a lifelong partner like this also ;o)

Spiegboy
I could not believe my eyes either, but there is no doubt in my (and the college tutors’) minds that I was bullied out of my PhD and forced to quit against my will.

Very much so; you need to be a whole person to supervise satisfactorily. That is, your emotional side has to be developed to some degree. You have to have : gone out, smelt the flowers, danced in the rain, stayed up all night because you’re so in love, or cried all night because you lost that love, you have to have gotten sick because you drank too much, or because you overdosed on chocolate sundaes, ended up in bed with someone with whose name you don’t know, thrown snowballs, drunk cocktails until sunrise……(my gosh! whatever floats your boat!)…. you get the picture.

Some people never bother to develop that side of themselves. And how can you understand or supervise students if you have never LIVED? And then try to apply your principles onto other people?

I have full support of the institution at where it all happened so I wouldn't mind doing a PhD there at all. But the project has to be right and the supervisor has to be right... and the ones that are on offer I'm not interested in.

So I'm broadening my search. I am not limiting myself to one area and I'm willing to live somewhere completely different, as long as the project and supervisor are right.

But the institution were very supportive and I was offered something else, but it just wasn't right. Or I wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time.

I have just taken a break. I have spent some time with a member of my family, just chilling out for a few months and got my self confidence back because it was severely dented.

Onwards and upwards!

I would do a PhD at the same institution, sure, if the project was right. I'm not avoiding it because of what happened to me. It's just that I want to find something that "puts fire in my belly" as it were!

I'm not going to limit myself to one area either (which I did previously)... so I have a better choice.

It all happened too soon and too quickly after what had happened to me and I felt I was choosing this project, again, because it was something I had to do after what happened to me.

The college tutors asked me to write a report, which I did. They said they would take it to the head of department. I haven’t heard anything back yet.

Xeno

I have wanted to do a PhD for ages. I’m not going to let this bad experience get me down. My plan of attack now is that I am looking for new projects now. I have found one I like and have contacted the institution. This time I will make sure that I spend more time making the decision. I was really rushed last time I picked my project: I had just graduated and rushed to pick the project and supervisor instead of making a slow and informed decision. Maybe that’s where I went wrong before.

The institution in which it happened was very supportive. I spoke to the Prof in charge of pastoral care in my department and he understood what happened. He said it would not be a good idea if I worked in the same department and he made enquiries in another department to relocate me. Following this I spoke to a three or four supervisors and was interviewed for one of the projects. I was offered the position – but I turned it down.

My supervisor was a complete psycho. He spent more time plotting how to get rid of me than he did on his own academic work. He was absolutely obsessed with me. He would write these long long jargon loaded letters about how useless I was. I mean it must have taken him ages. These guys are actually mentally ill. They are bullies. He will find another target and target them. I actually don’t think bullying is OK. I think they should be weeded out and dealt with. The organization suffers as a result of these people.

Badhaircut…. So you stuck your PhD out and it sounds like it wasn’t such a great experience for you.

I am starting to realize that these occurrences are actually more common than I thought. I wish somebody had told me that at the beginning then I wouldn’t have thought so badly of what was happening to me at the time, but I was lead to believe that bad experiences were in the minority.

It looks like there are these guys all over the place and you have a 50/50 chance of getting a supervisor who will make your PhD experience anything less than satisfactory.

Thanks Xeno.

The consensus is that the first year is about finding your feet. My supervisor was just awful to me.

OK. I won't be deterred.

Thanks again for all your words and support.