I'm sorry to hear that they will not advise you on the amount required - I think that is very unreasonable. In which case - Sheena's idea is best - to give a detailed account of how you will live and where the money will come from.

Yes, I think you need to give a fuller explanation of your actions to your primary supervisor. That is definitely a realtionship to nurture.

I've heard rumours that we are supposed to have an advisor as well as supervisor but I certainly don't have one - wish I did. My supervisor is way too busy - it would be great to have someone to talk to.

Can you ask them how much they would consider enough - because that's the opinion that counts? I think that is a reasonable question. Is there any way that your family could gurantee the extra needed? It is a royal pain not being allowed to work. Take care - in my first, unfinished PhD I was actually caught out working and told to stop immediately. It is actually enforced.

The other option which family of mine have used is for the spouse to enter on a student visa (this was to the US though, not the UK, but may be similar). She would still need guarenteed living costs - but she could e.g. take some English classes, but it still requires money. My sister found it was easier to get a student visa to live with her husband than just a spouse's visa (in fact she couldn't get a spouse's visa at all). Just something to check out if this application doesn't work out.

I'd be inclined to a maybe more diplomatic version of PC Geek's advice. I'd certainly want to talk about this to my main supervisor. Definetly cranky behaviour. I'm expected to get my own sources but my supervisor would never withold sources if he knew of any that I didn't - that just makes no sense.

Doing a non-team based PhD is probably one of the worst ways to move abroad. I always had a job where I automatically met people. Sounds to me like you have been unlucky with your accommodation too.

One of these days I keep planning to go out with one of my old female friends in London but I am just too tired and disorganised to get to it. Maybe you should come out with us. Or you're welcome to come up and visit here. Let me know if you're interested and I'll figure out some way to descretely exchange some info.

Maybe a London PF meet would be fun. Or not. Only one way to find out I guess...

I had flats in Dokki, Mohandiseen then Zamalek. I'm very fond of Cairo - not sure I'd like to raise kids there though. It's not the healthiest place on the planet! I had friends on the house boats along Agouza - now wasn't that the life?

I really liked Syria when I visited but I can imagine it would be very different to live there. There's a lot more going on in Cairo. Had a couple of brief trips to Beirut - very different again.

The Egyptian accent is useful - so well known from the film industry.

Actually Jouri - if you have your own individual funding it is possible to pursue your own project if it fits into your chosen supervisor's genreal remit. When I was applying, I had a short chat with my supervisor and suggested some project ideas that intersted me. (It had been made very clear that I would be responsible for coming up with my own project.) He had a definite preference for one, so I expanded that into a funding proposal, which he signed as the potential supervisor. This is not that uncommon, especially in fields that don't require a lot of research costs.

You are very right. I have been thinking about over the last few hours and it just will not work to be so pig-headed about it. I will aim for Xmas - but more realistically I would hope that would be a complete first draft to my supervisor (heaven forbid that proves to be unrealistic!).

I sympathise. We've just sold our house but it has been a nightmare - much slower than expected and had to drop the price quite a lot. Hoping to move in June - just another thing to add to the to do pile.

Where are you off to in the US? Hope it gets sorted out OK and fantastic to be submitting soon . We just got back from NY/PA - my husband is American.

The central problem for me always comes back to the trade-off between quality of work and quality of parenting.

Off to watch some trashy TV - so trashy I'm not going to tell you what it is!

SJ - the problem is I think if I don't get a grip on this now it is going to go on like this for the rest of the year. Perhaps I'm pushing too hard but I just HAVE TO submit this year. My husband has just been telling me that maybe I should cut back a little and it will just take as long as it takes but I just don't want to hear it!

I think I will check out a few herbal/non-prescription aids and also maybe find some novel or TV more suitable for winding down than some of the stuff I tend to watch.

leone - I lived in Cairo for 5 years and visited Damascus. How was living in Damascus compared to Cairo? Where did you live in Cairo (...severe nostalgia setting in..)

My Arabic is pretty shabby though and getting shabbier....

I also have a cat problem which some of you (Olivia) may remember. I have to lock the cats in at night because Evil Fluffy comes in and sprays the house. Unfortunately this means my boy cat starts scratching to get someone up and let hin out at dawn. And dawn is getting earlier. And earlier.

Can't use one of those fancy eletro-magnetic whatever flaps because my girl cat won't tolerate a collar.

Between my PhD stress, snoring husband, dawn-hunting cats and early rising/night waking toddler - I think I'm doomed!

Thanks guys.

VD you'd think my own work might do the trick.

Sj - yes that's it. Don'thtink the Simpsons would work for me - but I do know most of the Star Trek series' by heart...

cc drink makes me wake up early too. I accept that it's temporary - but it's not temporary enough to manage like this. I burn out after a few days - old age probably. I have as much childcare (husband and 3 days/week nursery)as I can but my husband travels a lot.

I don't drink caffeine after noon. I'm not wild about exercise. I probably do need a wind down routine though. Hmmmmm. I do have some herbal teas in the cupboard somewhere and even some calms I think. I should dig those out.

You are so right about a snoring husband - it's torture!

OK so I am gearing up to submission later this year and starting to work evenings and generally get pretty anxiuos about the whole business. Trouble is I just cannot wind down and get to sleep. And the trouble with that is that no matter how little sleep I get - I must be up at 6-7 am with my daughter. And then I can't nap during the day as I am either looking after her or working.

So how can I cure this insomnia? Drink hasn't worked.

Could you work part-time and do your PhD part-time as well? Many institutions will not allow you to work during a full-time PhD whether you are funded or not (other than dept teaching which is generally not enough to support you at all). You should probably check that.