In case you hadn't noticed, this is a forum for postgraduate students to discuss their studies. Take your simplistic and annoying religiosity elsewhere.

Right, if any of you youngsters throw up, you have to clean it up. And no s*x in my bed!

Good luck Chrisrolinksi!! I hope you get this - will be a nice end to a hard road for you, especially if your circumstances are still uncertain. Fingers crossed for you too.

Hi KC

I have a yearly plan, which I never stick to, as things take so much longer than I estimate. But since I have only 6 mths to go, I'm trying harder to meet my goals. I have a plan for the next 6 mths, broken down into monthly plans, each in an excel spreadsheet, along with things I've learnt or need to work on (eg less time skiving off on PGF! Use the timer at www.mytomatoes.com).

Each Mon I make a list of what I need to do for that week. At the end of the week I go thru and cross things off, then make another list for the coming week. I make these lists cumulative, so that they're all on one page - by the end of the month I will have 4 week's worth of work listed on a page. I think this helps me to see how far I've come, what a lot of work I've done in the previous month, and give me momentum to keep going. I've taken to keeping all the monthly lists, so I can track my progress. I also then update the next month in the spreadsheet.

This might sound really anal, but at this stage, I'm developing as many strategies as I can possibly think of to keep me going, to make me work even harder, and to be more productive when I work.

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Well done everyone! Congratulations!!!(gift) That must be the best feeling in the world! Have a lovely celebration, and get your corrections done, and enjoy the festive season.

Congratulations everyone!!! (up) Yes, you should start your own party thread for this!! Well done!! Thanks for giving the rest of us hope!!! Have a lovely, lovely w'end celebrating.

Ah Cobweb, nothing I can say to this I'm afraid, just (((hugs))).

Hi PhDee

Ask your sup for more guidance. Don't worry about looking incompetent - it's something we've all gotten used to! Lots of us feel out of our depth a lot of the time - it's part of the process. A PhD is challenging, and it's really normal to feel unsure. This is just the start! ;-) Your sup needs to know what you don't know, what you need extra guidance in, so talk to them.

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Hi Cobweb

Like Eska, I've also been hesitant to respond, as this is such a personal issue, and us giving advice, without knowing you, makes it really tricky. You're essentially getting advice from strangers about your relationship and life, which could be quite dangerous really. Except that you know we're all smart and have good intentions ;-)

The thing that strikes me most about your relationship is the inequality - not so much financially, as lots of us depend on people to various extents to get us thru, but the fact that he doesn't give you emotional support. Yes, he cheated on you - but it was 4 years ago. He viewed porn - over a year ago. These are mistakes, actions that can shatter trust, but a relationship can be rebuilt after these sorts of things. If you think he can be honest with you now, then you might still have a relationship. But it seems like you don't think that's possible...

Someone who doesn't reciprocate emotional support would really get to me, that would drive me away. I'm in a really, really long-term relationship, and we've both made big mistakes and worked thru it, but I doubt we'd still be together if we didn't share, and listen, and support each other every day.

I think Megara's right, you need to have a think about life without him - would it be better? Think about where you'd like to be a year from now - are you able to see yourself in a new life, living in a different place, with different people, with a job? Happily studying? Yes, it would be hard, no doubt about that. If you're only at the start of your research, then I don't think you should just resign yourself to being in this situation for years and years to come.

And like others have said, talk to him about this. Good luck.

Hey Chrisrolinski

You're not here by yourself at least - look, there's lots of us online! And being on the other side of the world, I'll be working for the next gazillion hours today, so rest assured that there is at least one other person working, if everyone in the northern half of the world goes to sleep and you're still up.

You'll get there! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment, with travelling and doing all your other work, and it always gets like this at the end of the year, where we try and get everything done, it's just madness. Keep going! Think of something to look forward to - a bit of a break over Xmas? Visiting friends? And the next little while will go quickly. Chin up!

I'm also going to thank my dog, who will have kept me company for thousands of hours, sleeping next to me every day as I work. Probably silly, but she's important to me and has helped me a lot - more than some others at uni who should've been helping!

Hi Jessebel

Yes, doing a PhD is hard and really lonely. As others have suggested, try and talk to people at uni, also make sure that you have a network of friends outside your PhD that you can go and socialise with. Go to conferences, seminars etc. Use this forum. And in a way, people get used to the isolation, or at least resigned to how this is going to be for a while. I use the chat room at www.phinished.com to stave off loneliness, as I work at home every day. The good bits, what keeps me going, is the knowledge that I am getting somewhere, that one day I'll be finished! And the rare moment when I have an epiphany makes it all worthwhile. It's not easy, and in a lot of ways it only gets harder, but I think that somehow, people become used to this and really draw on inner resources to get through. Keep going!

Hi Kezia

I'd be a bit concerned if your supervisor wasn't an expert in your area - is there really no-one else who could at least be a co-supervisor? You will need someone with subject matter expertise. And if this person's methodology suggestions now don't seem so good, that's a worry too...I would definitely try and find a co-supervisor. Failing that, I think you need to have really targeted questions that you want feedback on, so they don't get off track. I'd put them in an email, and be specific eg, wanting feedback on your conclusion, so at least they have to read your whole document. Then use those points as an agenda in your meeting with them. Then, once you have some rapport established with them, I would tactfully ask how they might be able to assist in getting you further assistance with someone who knows your area. There's a long way to go, and you need to make sure you have the support and access to knowledge you need.

Hi Maria

I think you've got that right - definitely capitalise disciplines and subjects. Good luck with getting money!