======= Date Modified 29 05 2009 07:05:07 =======
Next week I have to give a presentation on an area only tangentially related to my thesis. I have a general knowledge of the area, but am no expert. I'm on a panel with another 3 people, all of whom are experts - I've just been talking to one of them about her presentation and now feel completely overwhelmed! Her knowledge is huge and I'm just tootling around the edges! If it wasn't for my supervisor I wouldn't be on this panel - and I so don't want to do it!

And to make matters worse, I'll be talking about government policy in front of public servants, who are also old colleagues. They'll know I'm not an expert!!

...I hate challenges and don't know why I ever agreed to this!! I've had a look at some of the stuff on imposter syndrome, but it doesn't help.

Nope - let's not even talk about bitching here! This is a positive thread for us to reaffirm why we put ourselves through this!

And another thing I like - I love being on campus, taking in the energy of the students, and walking around a gorgeous old sandstone uni.

Hi PinkNeuron

I have 8 months to go and like you, an awful amount of work to get through. Two conference presentations, a major journal article to write, and I've only done drafts of 3 chapters, out of a total of 12 (I have a lot of field work to detail). My supervisor has suggested I get an extension, but I'm determined to finish this by the end of March - I want to move on to the next stage of my life!! It is this wanting to move on, and sheer fear and impending panic which keeps me going! I'm planning to have a first draft of everything written in 3 months, so I can then start revising.

I've been really moody lately, which I put down to the pressure of writing up, but I am determined. Keep going! We'll all finish soonish!

At least I don't have a viva - just have to write the bloody thing, then submit, then wait months for the examiners' comments to come back, then changes, then more waiting, and so hopefully by the end of next year will be all done! ...sigh...

As an aside, have noticed that I've written so much in the last 3 1/2 years that the letters on my keyboard have rubbed off...

Tommy1983 is right - we all do a lot of complaining on this forum. And while it's great that we get support when we've got troubles, it might also help us if we occasionally think about the bits of doing a PhD that we like - or even love. So I'll start.

Things I like about my PhD:
- the luxury of having time to think, read, write and create something new.
- 'light bulb' moments when I get a flash of inspiration, an understanding, and the words flow. This makes it worthwhile.
- subject matter, even after all these years!
- seeing my name in print in journal articles.
- spending time with my dog, my muse!
- knowing that one day, I'll be a 'Dr', instead of a 'Ms'! Now that'll feel fabulous!

C'mon - what else? :-)

This is day shift for me - and today I'm doing less procrastinating! Did a whole hour's work on something I just am so not into at the moment, and am having a wee break now.

So, today is better for me; will be for you both too.

And yes, it is lovely to hear a voice out of the darkness, as we all beetle away, trying to resist distractions...back to work now. Written 5 pages of a summary, back to this tedious work...

Hi Kaymoy

Hope the night train works for you. I'm also a morning person, and whenever I've tried to force myself to stay up late, it doesn't work and I sit there staring at the screen...but I hope you get your work done.

I've been a total procrastinator lately. Have a seminar paper to give in a week, and haven't even started researching the area, let alone writing the presentation...and somehow just don't seem to care. The thought of humiliating myself in front of a roomful of people doesn't even worry me at the moment....ok, maybe it does a little bit. No more forum until I've done 3 hours work!

Hi Annieslim

You have my sympathy for feeling sad about your work. I think you should go and talk to someone professionally, a counsellor at uni maybe? and work out what you want to do about your PhD. PhDs are hard and sometimes depressing, no doubt about that, but it shouldn't be making you depressed all the time. I think a lot of us here enjoy doing our PhD - at least for moments anyway! Life's too short to hate what you're doing, so don't soldier on if it's making you miserable. I've had jobs that have made me depressed and anxious, and found the only thing was to move on to something else. Go and talk to someone, take some time out, work out what it is you like doing. And enjoy other aspects of your life in the meantime. Good luck!

Thanks Misspacey, I feel much better! This morning's event put me right off my game (literally and metaphorically!). Yes, I might have to try something else - trouble is, this town is sooooo full of people not like me - I'd be much better off living in a large city....

You got that right! I live in a small town, go to uni in an excellent city hours away, and find I don't have much in common with many denizens of this town at all...

Hi chums

This is a completely self-indulgent rant, so please forgive. Am feeling horrible so thought I'd vent here. PhD is going quite well at the moment, so that's good. I'm writing up, and have been sitting in my study alone for weeks, which is fine, but thought I should take up a sport so I could talk to people and run around in the sunshine a bit.

So have joined a tennis club and am taking lessons. First week was OK, but this week, the second week, I was just hopeless! And no-one spoke to me. Instead, all these suburban mums just spoke to each other about their holidays and their kids....

I don't live near my uni, so can't access uni sports and this is the closest thing for me. Try and do something new, and it doesn't pay off!
OK, I feel somewhat better. Back to my friends the books, back to my comfort zone...:-(

I did a Masters in an area unrelated to my undergrad degree, then went on to my PhD. I'm in a specialist area, and also didn't have the basics, however I picked up what I needed to. You don't need to know everything! And you probably know more than you realise. In regards to teaching, last semester I tutored a postgrad subject where I didn't know much at all - the students knew more than I did, but it was fine. Tutorials aren't lectures, so you're not expected to be a subject matter expert, that's what the lectures are for. As long as you do the reading, get across the basics, then can lead a class discussion, you'll be fine. My uni also had an excellent course for new tutors which gave us tips and confidence.

It doesn't sound like you're that slow to me! I've worked solidly all week (yes, am one of those 10 hours a day people) and have written 18 pages this week - so you're doing OK getting a few pages a day done on 3 hours writing. Are they good pages? Are your supervisors happy with the progress you're making? Depending on what stage of your thesis you're up to though, you will have to increase your hours and treat the PhD like a full-time job. Are you lacking motivation? There's been lots of tips here on how to motivate - break tasks down, set your hours, take breaks, have rewards etc etc. And above all, don't compare yourself to others - it'll make you feel bad, and that's really demotivating.

Good luck!

Hello

Am envious of you all, being so close to finishing! I have to have the first draft of my thesis done by the end of the year. So far I've done the introduction, a context chapters which really needs updating, and two field work chapters. So - only about another 70,000 words to go I reckon!! But am determined. I've cleared the decks, so after August I don't have anything else to do except this. Am trying not to freak out about the amount of work I have to do, and am plodding along, one thing at a time.

And, at the moment, enjoying it.

Mods, could this thread be removed? Meaningless, if not spam.