Right, here's my two pence-worth on the matter, since I've got a bit of time to think about it now. Doing a PhD is quite possibly the worst circumstance to be in if you want to develop a relationship with someone. It's like being a monk living in a monastery that is, in turn, enveloped by an impenetrable soap bubble. It's the academic equivalent of Guantanamo Bay. It's a solitary and demanding world, which occupies much of your time and thoughts. It's not like having a normal job because you take it everywhere with you and, if you're like me, it can be difficult to switch off. Normal people (or civilians) can't always appreciate this (that's if you encounter any because of all the time you spend at a computer writing), and in a way it removes you from them both physically and emotionally.
Depending on your personality, the demands of the work you do can also affect your attitude and personality around people as well. Since starting my PhD and having my own ups and downs (embarrassingly well documented), I've become very quiet and reserved, almost locked away. I went out on New Year's Eve and it was remarked how quiet I am and how I didn't have very much to say. All those friendly people and I was mute. It's like my ability to socially interact with the ladies has been retarded a bit. This is what I hate most about my PhD - although it has developed me in some ways, it has hurt me and regressed me in other ways. Grr! And I also seem to have developed a level of anxiety with respect to meeting new people anyway - what on earth do I talk about? What if I say something stupid and come across like a weirdo?
So I don't do anything to try and meet partners (or rather a partner - I'm not greedy!) as a PhD student. I think, what's the point? I can't give her as much attention as she would want or deserve because my commitments will always get in the way whilst I'm studying. That's what happened the last time and it was soul destroying. Besides, I'm not even particularly good company for such a person at the moment. I must admit, however petulant it sounds, I'm very envious of those that do have an understanding and supportive partner - it must be brill to have someone to talk to, who understands you and is there for you through the ups and downs (it's all you need really). But then, I think it is all dependent upon your personality and social network, so it could be very different for others. And please bear in mind, these are just my thoughts (I'm terrified of turning into Roy Cropper or the mad scientist out of The Simpsons), so take them with a pinch of salt.
Well, this girl you pass in the corridor. Break the ice by asking her about her PhD and what she does. Suggest a coffee, get talking, make friends and find out about her. If there's something there and she likes you as much as you like her, it'll happen ;-)
