Hello Cobweb, this is a horrible situation to be in with, admittedly, no clear solution. I'm probably going to sound contentious with this, but I think you should stick with him for now. If you're not in a financial position to move out and have no friends of family you can move in with, where can you go? If you still love him and he you, there is going to have to be big changes on his part and perhaps you can save your relationship. I'm not sticking up for him, but the vast, vast majority of men look at porn (they're liars if they say they don't) and he seems to be depressed from your description. If you were to break up now, it's going to hurt you both like hell and things will get worse before they improve for you and your work.
I honestly think that the best way forward is to sit down, negotiate and talk about things. Get to the bottom of matters with him, tell him how you feel and what you're thinking. Seven years is a long time to be in a relationship and it suggests to me that things generally work quite well between you both. I'm going to sound really evil and sly now, but even if you think that he's ultimately not the one for you, think of yourself and your needs (which is clearly what he has done for himself), protect your interests and wait until you're in a stronger position to leave him (i.e. you've got your PhD and a job). People change (as your partner seems to have) and relationships rarely last forever, but if your think there is a chance that you could salvage things for the future, even if not forever, then do so.

Right, time to be serious with one of my posts now.

Dear Eska,

It's crap when you feel down about your PhD - I've been there and am regularly there. It's harder for you than me because you're part time, which requires far better time management than full time, and you also have to work to support yourself. I'm going to call us even on the crap family side of things, though at least your cousin doesn't watch CSI and Rambo 2 at 5 am in the morning directly below you - those bloody rocket firing helicopters make a racket and Stallone and his slurring doesn't help.
Now, you can't compare yourself to the full timer who's on a three year complete because you're on a part-time PhD programme, so even though you may have only a few hours more employment than her the plan of your PhD is completely different. And I'm sorry, I'm going to say this cos it's true, some people are just damn lucky and end up doing PhDs that are sightly less demanding and time consuming than others, easier in a way - it's the luck of the draw.

"My sup also said of the upgrade 'and that's when we'll see and if there are problems we'll...' and didn't finish the sentence. Does ths mean he thinks I'm on my way out? Does he think I can't do this? I dunno, I'm just feeling like I'm strugglig 'up the hill backwards' as Mr. Bowie would say and not getting anywhere. To think I could be going through all this and then come out of it without even an upgrade..."

Please don't deduce from this that you're going to fail your upgrade - certainly don't feel deflated. Supervisors say things like this all the time (mine does); it has no reflection on the quality of your work. Didn't I read on a previous post of yours that someone notable really liked the quality and content of something you wrote? Ergo, you are undoubtedly good at what you do and write. Remember also why you're doing the PhD - for the passion, challenge and change in career direction. You're supervisor didn't finish the sentence because he thought 'uh oh, I'm chatting pointless, unnerving crap'. I've done my upgrade and they can be horrible (I was mentally abused and beaten black and blue (to the extent that I wanted to physically beat them black and blue), but they were impressed and I passed. I really didn't have much to show them at that point either.
As for moving nearer to the place where you do your PhD? It would certainly have it's advantages if you could get some employment to fit around you PhD and support yourself. You'd be closer to your work, in a weird way, as you'd be closer to the university - if you catch my drift. But, not being aware of you private circumstances and given that you're infinitely wiser than me, I'd say you'd know the right thing to do here. Other than employment that may end, what else holds you be from doing this?
It's a lull, a nadir in your PhD story, where you are unfairly comparing yourself to others, unreasonably expecting even more of yourself academically (which is magnifying your anxiety over every potentially negative word your sup says) and then rightfully worrying about employment to support yourself and where to live. I'm sending you positive vibes via my broadband connection. :-)

Not the best half of a day, so far. Been too busy watching The Littlest Hobo online and then thinking about designing my very own avatar. But in order to reach new realms of celebrity attention-seeking tackiness, who can it be? Timmy Mallet? Marilyn Manson?
Anyway, must try and do a bit of work now.

Ding dong!

Hello, I just thought I'd ask, if anybody has a broad idea, what the funding situation is like in the UK for doing an MA or MSc? I have a feeling it's harder to get funding for an MA than a PhD...? What kind of sources could you approach for funding? Thank you for any input everyone.

Post and then repost ad-infinitum! I win.

Before you consider using Survey Monkey, consider using Adobe Lifecycle to make a questionnaire and then solicit and e-mail it to contacts - I used this method and found it to be very successful in the end. PM me if you wish for more details.

Move over Britney, out of the way crappy Twilight New Moon actors and at the back David Walliams and Matt Lucus, we're all famous at last. Race you to the first autobiography book deal or solo singing career fellow forumites! :-)

I'm going to be starting a modern art career if I don't get any opportunities from my PhD. I'm going to get my thesis, douse it in lighter fluid, set it on fire and chuck it through the window of my Vice Chancellor's office. It'll be called Misguided, Divine Comeuppance: Putting the Thesis to Worthwhile Use.

I love this quan-qual debate that goes on. For all the fancy general linear models that SPSS can throw up, all the fancy things you can do with stats, it all comes down to one thing with quan - there is only one objective, unifying, measurable reality. That's bollocks. And I'm not talking about the way Mrs Jones views the world from Mr Bandana. If we want to get physical, what about quantum mechanics and the proselytised existence of multiple alternate realities? Kind of blows the quantitative positivistic paradigm out the water.
That leaves us with qualitative research and its lovely paradigms. I think it's only a number fetish and traditional (very old) research training and education that stops more people from embracing it. Certainly there's more too it that anyone realises. Sneaks, I'm surprised about the dismissive way you say that the results of qualitative research can easily be manipulated as desired. No, they cannot. As you know, to have any rigour you must maintain a very thorough audit trail so that others can follow exactly what you did and, if necessary, re-enact it. Quantitative research has it's place, but for the human sciences so does qualitative research. You can't study societal traditions or someone's end of life perceptions with a bloody 2-way ANOVA and confirmatory factor analysis.

Well done to you too, Cobweb!:p

Oh my God. I take a two day brake from the forum come back and find that love has blossomed in the most unlikely of places. Phd_smug I hope that this is the start of something beautiful with Clogs. A few caveats though. Never go for a romantic walk along a cliff edge with him, never stand in front of him at the roadside when there's a bus going past and, erm, I hope you like romantic evenings in front of a roaring fire, passionately, fervently making...fun playing sudoku, battleships and scrabble.