lol i had this the whole way through first year! I found that taking notes helped keep me awake, it took longer to get through the papers but at least I didn't fall asleep and it's been really handy having a big book with short notes on all my papers in it. I numbered them all too so I can find ones I need pretty easily, just flick through the book! And coffee, plenty of coffee!

Hmmm, it's a tough situation Coop. I'm sure there will be many on the forum who will disagree with me here, but I'd say if you really want to quit, and you *know* it's not for you, then go. I'm sure you can pull together enough of a lit review and data for a masters so you will get something out of it on paper as such. But if it's already caused depression, and you know you don't want to stay in academia then nothing is worth giving up on the next 2 years of you life. It sounds a bit harsh like that, but really, when you are recovering from depression and still unhappy, unless there is some sort of shift and you suddenly start to love your project, I can't see it getting any better. And the writing up phase is a million times worse, especially when you have supervisors who aren't bothered. I just don't see that your happiness is worth staying on just for the sake of it.
But you have to be sensible about your options too, have a look for graduate courses and schemes that you can apply for, remember there is insane competition for many jobs at the moment and it could be tough getting something.

Good luck in your decision, only you know what is best for you.

======= Date Modified 11 Aug 2010 22:28:32 =======
ah...having just been told that my graphs that I spent ages (literally hours) doing last week are crap and "rubbish" and that I have to redo them and that a section of my stats work is "just rough basic stats", and having got a chapter back from my sups with no actual words of encouragement, just yet more corrections, I honestly feel like leaving. Really, it's not worth it.
It's a bad bad night for algaequeen.

oh I like a bit of Laura Marling! I go through phases really, sometimes I can't stand any noise at all, and sometimes I need chilled music, sometimes something more dancy, although this is the first time I've done work with a dvd! I've just been looking at this chapter so long now, I know what I want to say but I was so bored of it that I couldn't write!! So the movie helped, just distracted me enough to get it done! the stuff for the next chapter is just tables and graphs so not too much quietness needed!!

Hey whatever you gotta do Teek! Sometimes you need the tea, chat and decent sleep, we are only human!

After days of staring at my chapter hating myself for not doing any work, I figured out that I have to accept that it's boring and I must find a way to make it fun - so I have it almost finished after watching music videos and The Holiday on dvd :) I'm on Bridget Jones Diary now, rewrite of chapter 4 coming up!

Good luck Teek!!

======= Date Modified 11 Aug 2010 11:00:26 =======
Arrgh! :) I went to the shop yesterday without the calming influence of my altogether too healthy boyfriend and bought a big bag of sweets which I've been chomping on this morning and now I've got a big sugar rush! I haven't had this much sugar since I moved over here over 3 weeks ago, it's been all salads and yoghurt! oops!

Apart from self inflicted sugar rushes, I've been really struggling to get this chapter finished. I duno why, I got started on it ok, but as soon as it hit the discussion I just blanked. I can't concentrate on anything for longer than 5 minutes and even when I know what I want to write it's like I can't be bothered, even though I want to. And it's taking me hours to get going in the mornings (hence the sweeties.. :-) ) Got about 4 weeks left to get everything done, I don't see how it's possible but I suppose I can but try! Anyone else finding it difficult to get going or is it just me?!

Good going for the meeting MatildaL too, I've got mine next week and dreading it to be honest! Hope it goes as well as yours!

Morning sneaks!

I'm not making any goals today as I'm just going to see what happens. But just wanted to say congrats for your sup signing off on submitting something!! Every little bit helps!! (up)

Hi Fm, firstly, welcome to the forum!
Now, your sup sounds like a combination of mine, so I'd say don't worry. Doing a PhD by publication is a great idea, and you've already got 2 papers accepted so you are on track. At this stage, you are already spot on for your viva, it would be very hard for them to fail you with that. You've got one paper under review, they didn't say no to it outright - it's clear that your work is a good standard and publishable. That's the most important thing to remember. It seems like a very small thing in comparison to your sups feedback I know, getting negative or unhelpful feedback from supervisors really is a soul and confidence destroying process.
But look on the bright side, you are so so close to finishing, you're on track with papers published, and fair enough your supervisor is changing words and being crappy with corrections, but at least she's doing corrections. There are plenty of people on this forum who are left with hardly any feedback from their sups and have to kind of make do on their own. Plus my supervisor doesn't really help with the corrections, I'll get feedback like this is nonsense, this doesn't make sense, things like this are driving me crazy....but never any advice on how to change it or make it better! Cue many drafts on occasion until I figure out what is wants me to do! Also I was promised 48 hour turnaround on my chapters (I submit in 4weeks) and a week after not receiving anything from my sup I email only to find out that he's off on holiday and he'll have it back to me in another week or so.

So try not to let your supervisor get to you, yes it's a crappy process, especially near the end when are too exhausted to try to fend off the negativity, but this is the last bit and you'll get there! And then you'll be free!

======= Date Modified 10 Aug 2010 08:58:21 =======
what a good idea Teek!

I do my fair share of complaining about my supervisors it's true, but they really aren't that bad! My 'evil' sup is a holy terror to work with at times, assuming I know exactly what he's talking about as he goes round in circles explaining something (it's like he has no thought filter, it all just comes out just as he's thinking it...) and it is a soul destroying experience getting feedback and corrections from him...however at the end of the process whatever I've been working on is much better than when I started, he refuses to accept anything below his high standard, and somehow manages to drag the great stuff out of me. He has a terrible and often inappropriate sense of humour yes, and is extremely grumpy and takes it out on students and staff but he can give some amazing gems of thought and is a total anorak for part of my topic.
My 3rd sup has taken early retirement due to becoming ill, but throughout has always tried his best to keep an eye on my work, and gives excellent feedback when he can.
My main sup however is my knight in shining armour. He's a very difficult man to work with at times, he can have a very short temper and has reduced me to tears in meetings. However, when I was in a very difficult situation in another lab I was working in and essentially being bullied by a staff member, I went to him and he sat and let me cry it all out, explain it all and sorted it within a day. He's a super busy supervisor too, head of the department and has 2 side companies he's running, scientific advisor to all sorts of things, and has never been known to turn his phone off. During that meeting he took the office phone off the hook, turned off mobiles and was so kind. I was on the verge of leaving several times and he has kept me here and I'm extremely grateful for it.

Until I get back to writing this darned thesis I'm sure... ;-)

go for the tea Teek, you deserve it!! And sure why not have the biscuit as well?! ;)

Glad you got your data set sorted Sneaks, I've got folders full of incomplete/wrong datasets and have set myself done the wrong track many times cos of it....

I've done goals 1 and 2, and also had lunch and applied for a job, so not doing too bad today! Just have to actually get writing now, so...
Goal 3 - finish section on growth and toxin
Goal 4 - finish section on seasonality
Goal 5 - make sure I've included everything on month comparisons...

hmm... Well I've successfully showered, cleaned the dishes, and tidied around....

Goal 2 though has devolved into a re-organisation of all my papers into separate little piles for each topic I'm talking about, which has taken over the living room floor...At least I've pulled out all the ones I need though! :-)

Also spent a good 45mins drumming up some motivation by putting all the chapters I've done so far together and formatting it all so it will look like my final thesis, which was fun!! Can't wait to see it all don, so best get back to it!!

okey dokey! Got up early cos I was kind of awake, and have done no work yet! :$

So! Goal 1 - shower!

Goal 2 - start pulling out papers I need to talk about in my chapter discussion

I'll see how that goes before the next goals! :)

Happy Monday everyone!

hmmm, just saw this thread AL, I'm almost afraid to respond now that you've finished your discussion! I would say have a think about the most likely and relevant of your ideas and write them up. I tend to get loads of ideas for thing to and have an awful time of trying to cut out the nonsense and airy fairy stuff, but it's possible! Maybe try giving yourself an hour or 2 max (Timed with a timer), then briefly writing them down in note form and going through which ones are the most plausible and defensible in your viva. Then include them, and leave out the others, as back up for some extra knowledgeable chat during your viva so it looks even more impressive :p

If you time it you'll not feel bad for taking time for it cos you know it won't drag on, and whatever ones you've forgotten about or not written down during that time probably aren't as important anyway. An extremely crude method, but sometimes it works for me!

I'd totally check it out too DanB, you may as well, and if you like the job and you can still progress your career there then what are you waiting for?! Maybe have a check and see if there is much chance of moving up in your current place any time soon, no point staying if you'll not be progressing for ages yet.. :)