ok warning - this will be a grumpy post!!

I'm really really starting to freak out about everything, I've spent all week stressing, I'm constantly tired even though I've been making myself go to bed early, and I keep randomly crying for no reason.  The PhD is no fun at the moment.
My lab work finally got started this week, but I'm not sure now if my samples are enough so I have to try loads of different optimisations, which I was doing ok until I remembered I had to prepare a talk.  Spent a day doing stats, realised the next day they were done wrong and had to redo them. Have to spend today finishing them off and writing up the talk, so that's 3 days of lab work lost so I'm even more behind that I anticipated.  I'm moving out of my flat at the end of the month so I really need to get everything done by then, I'm meant to be moving to France but I can't sort out the moving people with a date because I don't know if I'll be finished! My boyf is getting antsy cos I keep having to change the date of when I might be able to arrive and coupled with my general stress we keep arguing!  I'm totally exhausted!

A friend of mine has become almost like a personal secretary, I keep forgetting things that she has to remind me of, I'm double and triple booking myself for things and have to help organise, and rehearse for, a dance show with my dance class at the end of the month!  Not to mention my parents asking when I'm coming home and sounding really disappointed when I say not this weekend...:-(   But I'll get there, right?!

AL, sounds like things are picking up which is great, I hope your chapter 4 goes ok! That's the one I'm trying to work on at the moment, I've had to abandon it for a while though!  Good luck with your supervisor, if he gets all crap with you just remember he's an idiot!

Hope everyone else is doing ok!!

Congrats Yellow treble and Squiggles!

MunPhDStudent, good luck for your viva today, try not to panic, breathe deeply and remember you did it, so you know it, and you'll be grand! Fingers crossed for you!

NOOOOOOOooooooo!!!!!

The stats that I spent all day yesterday doing, about 11 hours are all wrong! I just realised I set the datasheet up int he wrong way, so it all has to be redone! :(
And I thought I was doing so well too....ah hoo!

I think it depends a bit on the field you are working in. I'm an ecologist at heart but I have gone to some biochemistry conferences as part of my PhD and the dress is very different! The ecology people wear shorts, jeans, sandals (we have a professor at uni who has a 'good' pair of nike sports sandals for special occasions.. :) ) and skirts, anything goes pretty much. For these conferences I wear casual clothes, mostly jeans, but always make sure I'm clean and tidy, ie converse trainers are ok, but they have to be clean and not the old battered ones with holes, see what I mean?! :)
For the chemistry conferences people are much more tidy for some reason, I've seen men and women in suits, mostly it's trousers and a top for women though and some small heels.
For the conference dinners, I think it's hard to go wrong with a nice pair of trousers and skirt, something you can dress up or down with accessories. Take whatever you need and modify on the night as necessary :)

well no extractions today, realised i had to do more work for a talk next week so I spent all day doing stats, which came out actually better than I thought! PCA's on the brain now! I'm backing up all my work too...that means I've got all my PhD work on 2 memory sticks, my work computer, my laptop, my external hard drive and this weekend I'll update the folder on the computer at home! Slight overkill I know but at this stage, if it was all to disappear, I'd just leave! :-)

Off to the gym for some stress busting, see you all tomorrow!

Hi there!
I was like this in my first year too, really was on the verge of quitting several times. I think it all depends on what your vague idea of what you want to do instead of/after the phd is and if you can still get there if you do your phd. In my case, I didn't have much of an idea, I just knew I wanted to work in an area where I could inform people about science and improve attitudes of non-academic people to science in general, not just my field. I had though initially that I wanted to be a lecturer, not so much interested in the reserach but that was all part and parcel of the job, I just wanted to teach student. Then after a few months in my project I decided I hated academia and this wasn't for me, it wasn't the field I wanted to work in, it was a waste of 3 years which would be better spent training for the job I actually DID want to do...all similar thoughts to what you have mentioned in your post.
I was too afriad to leave though, I couldn't make a proper decision either way, every time I decided right I'm going to leave, there was always a niggling doubt so I decided to stay in cse that was my sub-sub conscious telling me leaving was the bad choice. After a few months I got stuck into field work, and started really enjoying my project and now in final year I'm so so glad I stayed. I had some pretty rough times, bullied by someone in the lab and having problems with losing samples and experiments not working out, but I'm still glad I stayed.
I have had the opportunity to take time to think about what it is I really do want to do, and loads of opportunities to network and meet people that I wouldn't have otherwise have met. I took advantage of the flexibility of working with a Phd and did some volunteering in something I'm interested in but totally different from my field, I joined all sorts of societies and attended meetings which have helped me in meeting people important in other fields.
I enjoy academia now, and would still like to be a part of it, but I don't feel like I could be a full blown academic. I have a great supervisor who has let me flex my muscles in other areas and now I have a better idea, and better qualifications for working in what I've eventually discovered I want to do. I think I would have gotten here at some stage, whatever path I took, but I'm glad I stayed for myself, because now I know what it is to do a PhD, what it takes and I know that I've got it. I have 3 months to submit so I'm sure the worst is still to come, but I feel now that I can handle it! I think that's the best transferable skill out of them all, and one that's often overlooked!

lol thanks sneaks! I'm fine with it usually, it's only when I'm staying with friends that it becomes difficult as I tend to fade quite eraly and if I don't sleep enough I get super grumpy the next day!

Toady's tasks are to try some more extractions, so goal 1 is to do my 1st one! Have a good day everyone!

mmm I don't mind love so much, it's used a lot in the city where I study, but in my home town, it's a lot of 'right boy' (pronounced bai), 'well lad', like', 'hi'... etc! As in: 'well bai, how ya doing bai?', 'I'm doing rightly hi, how 'bout you bai?' :-)

I do think hon and sweetie can be really annoying though but maybe that's cos I'm just not used to hearing it much! I wouldn't worry about it too much, the barman probably just thought you were flirting with him! ;-)

ok! I have achieved todays goal of not crying, I even chopped some shallots and didn't cry so extra big whoop for that. I have also managed to not freak out about my lab work, I have a few ideas for things to try tomorrow so I'll see how that goes. Now, I'm totally totally shattered, so I'm off to bed! According to my other half, I sleep like a Granny, even more so in fact... :$

nothing is working. my extraction from yesterday didn't work , so I'm having an early lunch so I can do another after lunch. Hope it works. My stats aren't working. My goal for today is to not cry. So far so good...

I think you'll be fine Natassia! I don't even have a masters, went straight to a funded PhD after my undergrad and it's never been an issue. I doubt very much you would have been accepted if they were going to change their mind based on your results, unless you lose all brain space totally and turn in the plot of star wars for your dissertation! :-)
Just relax, concentrate on the final bit of your masters and don't panic!

I'm in. I'm shattered, but I'm here!

Today I have to try out a new kit I got, hopefully it works and I've got decent DNA. Then I can finally get stuck into this last bit of lab work and get it over with!

Congrats Larrydavid!! It's always exciting getting abstracts accepted when you really want to do a talk!! Good luck!

Hi there! That should be ok, I'm not so sure attachments are possible with the PM! If you send your address I'll send them on today if I can get the scanner working!!

oh your animals sound fun sneaks! Except for the poor birds though, but at least they aren't so housetrained they are afraid of rustling leaves (I have seen a dog like this...)!

Last night I went to the gym, did an hour in total, 30 mins my longest time ever on the treadmill and some on the rowing machine and cross trainer! Got to a grand total of just over 300kcal, so that's worked off the chomp bar and some of the ginger nut biscuits I also had yesterday! oops! Today I have circuits at lunch and dancing this evening, if I'm still standing by then!

I also had a look at the slimming world page, the 7 day meal plan they have looks amazing! Absolutely tons of food there, and all stuff I like and would be quite happy to eat! So I think I'll take a trip to the supermarket this weekend and get in all that I need, I'm going to try this for a few weeks and see how it goes! I'll see my boyfriend in about 2-3 weeks so would be nice to be looking all amazing for then! Good going on the bike sneaks, check us out getting all fit!