Why oh why do I do it to myself?! I have a friend who is very nice, a little full on and irritating at times but generally nice. I usually don't pass any remarks on the negative sides, as I know people are people and everyone's different and you accept your friends for who they are. However, this friend is also doing a PhD, in final year with 4.5 months left to submission like me. She has only ever worked during basic office hours, ie 8-4 monday to friday. She doesn't work weekends or holidays or anything. Which would all be fine except when I meet her she tries to make out like she's so busy with her phd and she does so much work, and it's all so difficult. This never used to bother me before but it's really starting to wind me up lately, so much so that I have been avoiding meeting up with her as it usually leaves me in bad form. Then I feel bad, and arrange to meet, which I did today.

It's a bank holiday, I'm working and I've worked all through Easter and most weekends since January, including 7.30-7/8pm most evenings during the week. Today was her 2nd day working when it wasn't a normal 'work day' and she did 4 hours and was saying how that's plenty and she's off the rest of the day. She works in a different place than me and has many advantages including getting her stats done for her and experiments run on her behalf, but still complains about how much work she has to do, when I and most other students I know don't get any of these benefits.

I don't actually feel really jealous about it, as I do enjoy my work and I do take time off, including the odd weekend when I'm with my boyfriend, but it just really annoys me that she won't appreciate what she's got and it's starting to make me feel resentful towards her.

Does anyone else ever get like this or am I just evil at heart?!

Hi Keep_Calm, I don't really have a consistent approach either, at least not consciously.  It depends on the extent of editing needed too. I generally tend to read through the whole thing, marking out any typos etc as I go along, and change wording where needed.  Then I'll have another read and think about what I actually want to say and whether or not I've managed it. If not, I'll stick in sentences and paragraphs here and there with what I want, then re-read again and see how to make it all flow ok.  Then make all the changes, leave it a bit and hope off to a coffee shop where I'll sit and read it all and make any further changes. For some reason I find doing the proof reading like that in a coffee shop makes it easier to see where I need to make changes, maybe it's the change of environment, I dunno!  :-)

Thanks Sue!  I'm doing ok today, I'm looking on having a rough date as being a good thing, so I can really aim towards getting submitted on time. I work better with proper deadlines anyway so perhaps the universe is conspiring to help me this time! :p

You sound like you are making good progress with your chapters though Sue so don't feel too down about it.  Doing rewrites is harder than starting from scratch I think as you already have an idea of how you want the chapter to go and it's hard trying to change it around to fit in other stuff. I'm stuck doing the second draft of this methods chapter and my head's turned deciding where to put stuff!  And it's so important to have a life at this stage so you are just right for going out and doing other things. You can't write a good thesis if you're not right mentally so it's all for your phd as well!  We shall just keep on keeping on!

ok! I had a minor freak out last night! I received an email from my sup saying my examiners were sorted! My 3 years are up in September and he told my external that's when I plan to submit and it seems my viva is gona be in oct/nov now! I was giving myself until the end of October to submit, now I'll HAVE to submit in Sept to get my viva then or I'll have to wait until next year some time! I've just lost my month lee-way that I was clinging onto in my mind! Still feels like I'm not getting anywhere fast, I'm still working on my chapter, now written the 2nd paper yet and not started experiments yet! god!
How's everyone else getting on, it's been quiet on here?!

morning all! what a lovely feeling it is to be dispatcher-free! There, last time I mention him/it.

So! today is a bank holiday, I'm the only person in the office and it's boring! Today's goal is to continue working on methods chapter, hopefully get the intros and reasons for each method out of the way! Good luck everyone!

yea sneaks is right keenbean, don't let fools like dispatcher stop you pposting for support oon here, that's what we are for. Personally I think he should be been removed a long time ago, without the need for this thread.

Hi Natassia
I would agree with the others that it's entirely possible to have a relationship during a PhD, many people (esp on this forum) seem to have the idea that the Phd is this all encompassing rite of passage that takes over your life for 3+ years, but it's not really like that, or at least it doesn't have to be. It's all down to how you work as a person. However, as you already have other committments, as well as doing your masters/PhD, then it's a bit more tricky. If you are still planning to keep your part time job, you will have much less time. You can still see him once or twice a week I'm sure, and if you are both ok with that then great. Just be upfront with him at the start, and if you arrange a time once a week, then you can't cancel or he could get fed up then.
Personally, at the start of my final year of uni I met my boyfriend and he lived in a different city to me so we had to travel to see each other. At the start we didn't see too much of each other, only every other weekend or so because I had a part time job in my home town, which i had to travel home for. After a few months when I realised I had very little spare time due to final year exams etc, I decided that it was either part time work at home or seeing my boyf, and I chose to see him, the money didn't really add to my pocket much anyway! It's been fine ever since, even doing long distance for past few years where he's lived in a different country and we see each other 2 days a month. So I guess it's really up to you, if you are ok with setting aside one night a week and he's ok with that then great. If he's not, then you have to decide if there is anything you can change to see him more, and if he's really great, then he will do his best to understand where you are coming from. :-)

Hi guys! Thanks for that Star Shaped, it's definitely a better day, although I've not got much (i.e. any...) work done because I have been at training events all day. All done now though, so I'm going to do a bit of work on my methods chapter and then head off home to bake some cakes for tomorrow! (mince) Hope you are getting lots of work done, and you too mathkitty!

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Aww dispatcher, poor old phdbug is slogging away at a conference in Germany and hasn't even commented on this thread!  I'm sure you're referring to Phd_Sumg there, perhaps if you spelled or wrote properly you might avoid future misunderstandings. Also, it is considered impolite to use poor grammar, spelling and use 'text speak' even on internet forums, and your regular appalling use of English irritates me greatly.  As does your consistent sniping at Keenbean on this thread; it is very clear from the original post this is not a situation she has chosen to get herself involved in and she has done as much as she can to alleviate the situation without bringing in her supervisor or other team members. Finally, regarding one of your most recent comments on the thread, I think Keenbean should be allowed to choose whomever she likes to have as her boyfriend/husband (with agreement from the lucky chap of course ;-) )  without any ill-informed comments from yourself

well done chrisrolinski! I really hope it all works out for you with the job, and I also have no doubt that you wil pass your viva with no problem, you've worked damn hard for it! Just enjoy the feeling of being technically employed for a while!

Hi Keenbean, I think the others are right here. Of course you aren't to blame for how he is being, in a work environment everyone has to overcome those personal issues and work together. Especially in a department like yours where everyone seems to be working together and you may need to work directly with him in the future. I would see how it goes for a while, if you have team meetings try to get your supervisor to emphasise the team work aspect of the lab and how it's integral to science, and if there is someehing that you need resolved specifically then get your supervisor to have a word with him like he offered to before, this guy has put you both in this positiion so it's not your fault if you need assistance to get it resolved. good luck (up)

well done keenbeen, its always hard dealing with those things with supervisors! I'm very pleased you were brave and it paid off, now you can settle into the not-quite-so-mammoth-but-still-huge work that you have left! :-)

ahhh.....ever have a day where you feel like you're just being continually totally screwed by other people who profess to be important to you? that's my day. Even my lunch didn't go right. and I have written (just checking..) 122 words. great.

Ok, I'm back, my mood has lifted slightly due to listening to some rock music and venting various frustrations! My PhD has changed me in many ways, I mentioned some of the more negative earlier although I think wanting to talk about things other than mundane crap isn't such a bad thing...anywhoo, I can feel myself digressing so I'll move swiftly on!

I've become more confident as time has passed at talking about my work to 'important' people, I'm more confident at handling situations that take me out of my comfort zone and I have learned that there are some things I'm good at, some things I can improve at and that I can accept that there are some things that I will never be good at. I've learned I'm better at writing than at analytical stuff even though I don't always enjoy it more. I've changed in that I'm beginning to understand myself more and see how all the seemingly random choices I've made in the past are starting to sort of fit together. I've learned I'm a bit tougher than I thought but there are some things that will always floor me no matter how tough I am. And i think I've learned that perseverence is one of the biggest lessons in life, try not to lose yourself along the way but remain flexible and open to change and you'll be able to take whatever comes. And no matter what, there is always a choice in doing this or not, if it's truly that bad then we can always leave (although that would be a gut-wrenching decision..) and if we decide to stay, there must be something we enjoy about it, so cling on to that though and it just might get you through. And you will finish, even if it takes longer than expected, you can still do it.

uuuughh....good morning everyone...

todays goal is to start making corrections to my methods chapter....ugh