Hi TcAllen...I don't think anyone is saying that you thought it was a waste to get an undergrad degree, it's clear to me anyway that you meant you would just be wasting your talent and ambition by not persuing it! However, I agree with walminskipeasucker that its not a waste deciding not to comtinue in your degree career pathway, simply the process of doing the degree itself is a major life lesson and that certainly is worth it. But I digress! TcAllen, if you want to do a PhD then you should definately speak with your tutors about it, find out what the opportunities are for you at home or decide if you are prepared to travel to another institution to study. Discuss pragmatically what the potential job market will be like, I know it's pretty tough now, do your tutors have any idea what way it's going for the future? When you have enough information, discuss it with your fiancee. She might be all for you doing it, in which case great! If you get a stipend it's usually enough to live on, not very extravagently but it will keep you fed and watered usually. However, if you are planning to get married and start a family off the same stipend, then that's a different matter. Think about what you want together and whether or not a PhD is important enough to you to make sacrifices. Good luck!! (up)

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Holy God!! That is a minor work of genius! I have had this happen to my own paper, only it has been due to one of my supervisors, it hasnt even been submitted yet! The paper it is now it entirely unrecognisable from the paper it was initially....ah hooo!!



:-) (god my spelling was terrible there!!)

Hi all! just popping in to share my two cents, yesterday was a busy day with little time actually at my desk doing work, but luckily enough the little time i did do work i actually had some good ideas, went home all enthusiastic to get stuck in the rest of the week and get it all written....then woke up this morning with a full blown cold :( am now im work feeling like death, dosed up with lemsip mas strength tablets, wishing i could just crawl back into bed...only got a paper and a presentation to do by the end of the week! booo! hope everyones wednesday is better!!

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soooooo....I guess I win now!! whoo!! really feeling much better, it's nice to win something after reading an evil paper that throws my entire method section into disarray....so in the interests of companionship and kindness, i think no one should post anymore and leave me as the winner! yay! :)

Sneaks!! I totally agree, snacks should be an enjoyable thing, as they are the only way of getting through a tough day in phd life! However you don't want to end up like a beast either! Yesterday after reading your post I went on a snack finding mission, and have discovered that a nice cup of options hot choc (with a little dash of milk so its a bit creamier..) and a fig roll does the trick!! and less calories than a bar of choc! Super tasty and sunggly when it's all crappy weather outside! hope that helps!:-)

one last thing, don't worry about what may or may not happen in the future, you might end up agreeing on everything and if you don't, you will find a way of dealing with it then, it might be tough, but if you really love your topic, and you really want the PhD, it's doable :)

while i think bug has some pretty good points, i think there are some definate differences in supvisor-supervisee relationships between science and the humanities. A science PhD is very much dependent on the expertise and assistancce of at least one person other than youself, which usually takes the form or the main supervisor. I believe it is simply not possible to be so independent with a science based project, as there is so much interdisciplinary and inter-departmental collaboration, which is often promoted by the university and scientific commiunity as a whole. Having read many posts on this site about supervisor issues, it is mostly in the science field that these issues occur and have the biggest impact. That is not to say however that there is no way of dealing with a poor supervisor. I know people in my own office who have submitted and obtained their viva without one supervisor even reading the final thesis. The issue here is the extent to which canada guy relies upon his supervisor, which is often detemined by the nature of the project more than anything else. It is a valid point to consider how you would feel about the project without these supervisor issues, you have done 4 terms already and it would be foolish to quit now without considering all your options. It doesn't seem like you want to quit canadaguy, simply just find a way of sorting out the situation. I don't know much about how PhDs are managed in Canada, having just one supervisor seems a bit difficult, but I think you should have a discussion with him about what work you plan to undertake in the coming terms, and how much input he is able to provide. Try and let him know that you value his supervison and that you do respect him (massaging the ego slightly! ;-) ) but let him know that it's still YOUR project, and that while you may disagree with him on some things, it doesn't mean you disrespect him! It's like the Godfather! :-)

hey canada guy, i just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel!! I'm in the "lucky" position of havnig 3 supervisors, all expert in various aspects of my project. I am currently dealing mostly with 2 of them, one of which is a bloody nightmare to say the least. the nice one is the main sup, the evil one (my term of endearment for him these days...) is the one whose field in currently working on. My nice sup has developed into a wonderful mediator between myself and evil sup, as he knows that I'm verrrrry close to upping and leaving! Evil sup is quite old fashioned, and like yours, has a tendency to get caught up in minor details, is impatient, and is just nasty when giving feedback. He has even told me I'm the least important person in the lab, my work is least important blah blah blah. However nice sup realises this (as I told him..) and so does a good job of keeping us from killing each other.
I presume you have another superisor as most unis require at least 2, so what relationhsip do you have with ur other sup, and what relationship do your sups have with each other? Would it be possible for you to have someone back you up when dealing with ur supervisor? It's difficult talking to sups about these things as many of them take it as person insult, but the main thing you have to remember is that you just need to find a way of working together, and examine his whole personaility to see what you can use to your advantage and what you should avoid. Be very clear with him about everything you do and in all discussions you have to try and avoid any misunderstandings which can be the beginning of the end! All the best of luck!!

ahhh chris!! welcome! I've been doing long distance for about a year and a half now, and before that we only saw each other at weekends so it's something I'm familiar with :)
First up, don't feel guilty about going away, you have to do it for your PhD so that's that. no point staying and not getting it cos then you'll just end up resenting your boyf and that's never going to be good. So while you will be away, don't feel bad about it. It's 6 months until you finish, is there the possibility of extension and it taking longer? Having a set timeline makes long distance soo much easier, as you both know it will be over soon and you'll be together, but keep in mind that it just might take longer in the end.
Make sure you stay in contact lots, video calls are great if you have a good web connection, otherwise plenty of msn/phone calls/texts etc. O2 do a good deal for international call. If you have an O2 phone in Germany, you pay £10 a month for the my europe extra thing so you can send messages cheaper, and best of all he can call you on it using free minutes. It's worked a treat for me so I'd definately recommend it.
Also, an important thing to remember is that when you're apart, as well as missing all the usual things of being with each other, it's really common for little things that might be a little argument at home to become a big deal apart. You have to both recognise this and don't let them get too big, if someone is annoyed deal with it or it will be a mess. It's so easy for insecurities and jealousies to flare up if you're not aware of it. Also when you go away, he'll prob be feeling like you've abandoned him and that you're away off having fun and you'll forget about him etc. It's only natural to think that, so make sure you take time to send little picture messages or whatever to show you've not forgotten :)
Lastly, try and decide between you how the visits are going to work. For me, we do it turn about, so if i go one month, he come the next month etc. It has to be balanced, one person can't do all the work to keep it going and you both have to make as much of an effort as possible. So decide in advance how much time you're ablt to take off and when is the best time to see each other. Don't think of it being a full 6 months apart, take it in smaler steps, like a month or 2 apart then you see each other. then another month or two etc... :)
I think that's about all I can say now, it's really not the worst thing in the world! the time spent together is so much better than it would normally be cos you appreciate it more. It will really show up how you feel about each other and if your relationship is strong, this will be no problem to you then :)

Good luck, i really mean that, it's one of the hardest things ever but you can get through it!

aww thanks for the help guys! I had a quick read earlier and it really cheered me up :)
I've decided that as this situation is the only one I am faced with then I'd be best to just suck it up and accept whatever comes, it's all a lesson right?! I'm a lab based project so I can't really take writing breaks although it's a great idea! I'll maybe see if I can go to the boyf when I'm writing up and finished in the lab although that's a few months away yet. Also the possibility that he might be in USA for a postdoc might make that a no-go! There is no choice between the relationship and the PhD, i know I'd regret it if I left and the boyf knows that too so he'll not let me leave! And I'll only be a million times more lonely without him so phone calls and msn it is! Thinking clearly after last night I know I have met some great people since starting my project and I've had some fantastic experiences so it's not all bad. I'm quite proud in my own way and don't like to let on to people when times are hard so I suppose I can't blame anyone for not realising, maybe I should be an actor instead?! ;-) But you're right heifer, I should maybe let people in on it a bit more so I'll try that. I'm just nervous cos I'm moving into a flat on my own for the first time ever and I'm not sure how I'll cope, but a mate told me today he'll be round loads and they'll all keep me company, I think he could see I wasn't 100% :)

thanks for the help, I'm considering getting a cat too now sneaks! :)

hey bug :)

Don;t you worry yourself about it, it's never ever going to be as bad as you can imagine. As mentioned you seem like the kind of person who works uper hard and you'll be well prepared for your talk. There are 2 main things that freak people out at talks: the actual speaking in front of an audience, and the questions at the end. From what I've heard from everyone I've met so far, people seem to fall into either category. Personally I'm more of a questions freak, I'm ok hiding the nerves during the actual talk but the questions just terrify me!

For the talk, just practice it like mad before you go. Don't try to learn off rote what you will be saying, it's best to have a general idea of what you want to talk about, put the main points on Powerpoint so you don't forget and include plenty of images so it's not too texty or people will just get bored. The more interesting your slides are the less they will look at you which might help :) Remember the 6 P's... Poor Preparation Preceeds Piss Poor Performance :) If you get confused and lose your train of though just stop, take a drink of water and stay calm and it will come back, and no one will know the difference.

For questions, don't worry, no one is there to make you look stupid (unless they are a bit of an idiot and if they are well known then everyone else will know they are just being mean too). Just remember that you know what you are working on, only you (and your sups) know the decisions you have made for why you are doing what you are doing and therefore there is no wrong answer. If anyone asks a question that floors you just say that's a good point and you'd like to discuss it after, if you can't think of any other response.

Above all, don't panic, just enjoy it! I bet you any money after the first few minutes you'll relax into it and be wishing you had more time at the end to keep on going! It's fun talking about your PhD and getting feedback from others in your field and any replies you get will benefit you in some way.

Hope that helps, best of luck! (up)

hi jo, i know its a really tough decision to make, but u have to think carefully before you get too far in. if this project is the right one for you, if u can see yourself wanting to work on it for the next 3+ years and u have a good relationship with your supervisor then i think ul be ok with staying in the same uni. however if u feel now that its more of a priority to try somewhere new and that u will still regret not taking a chance on another project then i think you owe it to yourself to keep looking for the right one for u. its all a matter of priorities, and while it might be difficult for you to even figure out what is most important to u, u can only ever do the best u can with how ur feeling at the time. think carefully about whatever decision u make and u wont regret it. good luck :)

hi everyone, sorry for the rather dismal post, but after spending yetanother night not able to get to sleep I thought I'd see if I couldjust do something about he problem. The thing is, ever since Ifinished my undergrad and started my PhD, particularly since mr.algaequeen moved away to finish his phd, I dont think Ive ever felt aslonely in my life and I just don,t know what to do about it any more. My friends are mostly all moved away and it's been hard making newfriends since, I've tried all the usual stuff, attending (andorganising) social events with people from the office, trying new danceclasses, gym classes etc but it's hard finding someone you really clickwith. Also doing the long distance relationship for the past year anda half has been awful and that situation wont be changing for the nextyear at least. It's come to the point where I'm on the verge ofchucking in the phd and just going to live with the mr but I know I'dregret it if I did. So just wondering if anyone else is in the sameposition or finding it as tough to get the hang of? thanks :)

I have only recently heard about prisim and I'm definately going to get my hands on it asap! I decided to just do this one wee graph on excel thinking it would be easier and quicker than trying to get the hang of a new programme first..how wrong i was! I'm just very bad with computers i think!

Btw, if anyone needs it, to do patterns and not colours for your chartsin excel, you have to download and install the patterns add on for excel 2007 as they removed it in favour of the (to tally useless) textures and fills option.

no need to be sorry pamplemousse, I'm so glad you've finally found a house and you deserve to be well chuffed!! I hope it's everything you wanted in a home and more :) (up) all the very best!