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I want a new boyfriend

T

Don't worry R, the twisted Geeky look is a good one! Well, it's the only thing that most of us have to hold on to...

H

I enjoy escorting drunk girls home but I live in a different country..... I guess I am out of luck

R

@sleepyhead

Oh, it's kind of R's appreciation society ;]

@thecoastman

And how about twisted loser look? I'm much better in the latter one ;P

Y'know, I saw today the most beautiful girl that I've met, since I came to UK. Normally I would probably even ask her out at least for coffee. But lucky me, what did I do in the morning? I did lose my wallet... In dire straits, with mad look of someone who's just trying to cancel all his bank cards - that would be really funny coffee-chat...

J

my experience is that UK women think you are a weirdo if you approach them on the street

J

You ARE a weirdo if you approach women on the street.

R

Don't you think, juno, that it does matter how you approach them? And anyway, I suppose that by 'on the street' jouri meant 'in public'. Or do you find talking to women e.g. in cafe weird as well?

J

I meant literally "on the street". A cafe would be different: that's a safe environment.

Men who approach you literally on the street are usually after one thing only, and can get very aggresive when you turn them down. Therefore a lot of women are nervous about men who approach them in that way.

T

OK let's flip the question: where is the best place? (I need all the help I can get! )

S

One of the academics at my uni reckons libraries or art galleries - to be honest I'd be impressed in that case - and you'd probably have something to talk about. One of the English PhDs here met a girl in the library last summer and is about to get married to her.

T

But scientists don't spend too much time in the library...damn those online journals!

J

Hmmm...I'm really an adherent of the passive approach (if you look too hard, it won't happen). Not very helpful, I suppose. I always thought it was nicer to get to know people first, through work or friends or whatever.

J

See what I mean?

It's only in the UK that women think you are a weirdo if you approach them literally on the street. In many other European countries, women are not that paranoid and actually quite flirty. Another thing, in England nobody from a different gender would ever look in the eyes to make contact.

J

It's not really being paranoid, it's being sensible. How are we to distinguish between the genuine chaps and the weirdos in a street encounter?

The UK legal system does not protect women from weirdos very well: being "flirty" is often seen as giving permission for sex. Flirting on the street: well, then you would be seen as "asking for it". Stupid I know, but that's the UK.

J

Quite often I see women walking very quickly down the high street, avoiding eye contact with anyone and pretending to be having conversations on their mobile. Could it be that UK women are really scared of the real weirdos, hence the behaviour above? Is there a lot of crime towards women in the UK? Perhaps that explains.

J

I don't know if there is statistically more sexual crime in the UK, but I think certainly that the legal system is not supportive of victims. I think it is fair to say that a lot of British people believe that women are to blame for sexual crime, because they were "drunk", "flirting", dressed "provocatively", and so on...Amnesty published a report last year on this subject.

I think this could be why we are wary of talking to unfamiliar men - if a woman is attacked she is likely to be held responsible for the attack if she was flirting with the man beforehand.

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