I really enjoyed watching that episode of The Equaliser and the Weetabix Encyclopaedia of film studies was fascinating. Eska, the zebra print couch is divine, so much so, that I would have given you 10 out of 10. However...the menu was just a bit too fancy for me and the trifle I helped myself to had gone off. Sneaks was also giving me evils all night long. So, I'm going to give you 7/10, or 8/10 if I can borrow your Paul McKenna book?

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Yes, Wally, you can borrow my Paul McKenna book. Hey, those spuds were Jersey Royals! Don't know what you're on about, there was enough for everyone and I did say!
Hey, don't all leave yet, what about dessert? I think Sneaks has got serious tactics, no way did I use takeaway food or bought ice cream...

======= Date Modified 14 Jan 2010 13:26:28 =======
"So that is a total of 7 from catalinbond, 6 from Sneaks, a whopping 10 from bugs, and Wally has been hypnotised into giving an 8 giving a grand total of 31...moving on, let's have a look at another menu."

Who is next?

Eska - After all that champagne, what happened at dessert couldn't be broadcast pre-watershed 8-)

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Ejc/Dave, I got a 10/10 from Bug too!!! So that's a toatl of 31.

I'm sure Cobweb was due to trun up for this, but alas.

FURTHER EDIT!

In fact, I got an 8 from Ev too, so that's a total of 39 for Eska.

Since no-one else has volunteered, I'll go next. Now picture the seen: I'm urbane, sophisticated, have just had a fantastic hair cut, I'm a better raconteur than Jools Holland and let's just imagine I'm well travelled as well (though truth be known, I've never been further than Wales and when I went I though you had to change your currency).

My house is a futuristic terrace and all my neighbours are really important people of note: Koffi Annan, Steven Brookstein, Gary Bushell, Gary Rhodes, Adam Hart Davies. They all wanted to come, but I said no.

I greet you all at the door carrying a tray of Ferrero Roche (sp.?). I'm on the ball, I know how to deliver and this could, by far, be the most exciting diner party you could ever go to... I upon up a bottle of Tesco Finest Champagne (rated better than most of the supposedly better champagnes going). So, what's on the menu? Well guys and gals, I hope you're hungry because this baby is eight courses of perfection:

1st Course -Appetizers

Petite Parmesan Baskets

and

Mini Fillo Shells or Won Tons
filled with spicy lemon zest chicken salad

2nd Course
Seafood

Seafood Salad with a zesty Cocktail Sauce

Vegetarian alternative - Tofu and spicy beans


3rd Course
Sorbet

Grapefruit Mint Sorbet

4th Course
Soup
Butternut Squash Soup

5th Course
Mesclun Salad

6th Course - main course

Lobster Tails. Vegetarian alternative at this point Linda McCartney sausages

Hasselback Potatoes

Julienne of Fresh Snow Peas and Carrots
Tomato Rose Garnish

7th Course - Dessert

Small Chocolate Cake Rounds

8th Course
Lattes

So people, lets relax and enjoy...
:-)

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Hi Wal, Can I have a meat alternative to your salad? (sprout)(sprout)(sprout)

I've just seen Foxy the gerbil run across your kitchen surfaces Wal - I thought you were against animal labour in the kitchen!

Pre-dinner comments to camera: How on earth do you julienne a pea? Hilarious. Also, the choccies as appetisers are making me feel a bit nauseous already.  Also, since when is tofu sea food?

I predict this person will be a slightly confused, middle income internet surfer. Either that or bionically skilled with a vegetable knife and with the patience and precision of an eye surgeon.  


It's a shame the anonymity is lost at this early stage - Wally will read my catty comments, which, of course, he wouldn't on the real show.

"This week's contestants do like their champers - although do we spot Wally turning the bottle round so that no-one notices the label? Just as well he went own-brand; it appears as if Wally has spent his entire month's stipend on ingredients in an attempt to woo the contestants. Let's hope no-one notices, that's really Sainsburys Basics Seafood..."

Ding Dong, Hi Wally, how lovely to see you again, can't wait for the food, sounds amazing, especially the peas! What a swanky area you live in. Here I brought you some flowers and a bottle of expensive rose wine.

Hello Eska and Ejc - you're just one time. Sneaks has already arrived, but between you and me I think she started (nudge, nudge - drinking) ages ago because she thinks I have a gerbil helping me in the kitchen and she asked for a meat alternative to salad! Oh, expensive rose wine, Eska? Thank you. I see they must have run out of Blue Nun at your local Spar. EJC, where's your contribution to the dinner? Eska brought wine, so what have you brought. I'm still boiling the lobster claws but am just about ready to pull the starters out of the over.
Although I'm a modest man, I do like to demonstrate my wealth, influence and power - so take a look around! See the pictures of me teaching the poor people of Madagascar, the one of me advertising the Brut range of man smells - oh, and I'm sorry for blushing, if you look around you'll see the one of me posing alluringly for a charity event (it's alarmed, so don't try to steal it). Well, I like to do my bit! Lets wait for the other guests and then enjoy the evening. Cheers.

I did bring some artwork for you Wal to hang in your swanky pad. Its a portrait I did of you - it is abstract I admit . It represents the turmoil in your life at preparing that hectic menu (hectic in a rude-boi kinda way).

(sprout)(sprout)(robin)(snowman)
(gift)(mince)(gift)
(tree)(turkey)(snowman)

I just don't like salad - it tastes bitter. And will the prawns still have their heads on. if so can someone else peel the heads and jackets off cos I don't like doing that, I always ping them across the room by mistake :$

You can't fool me, I saw foxy using his wheel to power the salad spinner.

Slurrp. Wally I give you 9 on 10

I would've given 10, but sorry, I hate salad i.e. anything fruity/leafy from the innermost core of my heart. Veggies are a waste of space and I eat 5-a-year and don't speak to people who do 5-a-day

Ok, next is me, tell me when ready! I have something exotic in mind :-)

Thanks for the 9 out of 10 PhDBug! It's a pity I can't get you to eat more salad though! Sneaks, I love the abstract art painting you gave me - it speaks volumes and I can't really, erm, identify with it. As for using a gerbil as a kitchen assistant, you must be seeing things. I hate the little critters and if I saw one in my kitchen, I'd be putting it in my blender!
Well, the turn out four my meal was a bit disappointing - only 4 PhD celebrities turned up. Just Eska, Sneak, Ejc and PhDBug :-( Ah well, before we move onto the next celebrity dinner, I wonder what my final score is?

sorry turned up late, taxi took me to xxxxxxxxxxxx close instead of xxxxxxxxxxxxx road.
I bought a mid range bottle of red and a cactus.
Anyway menu looks good nothing I particularly don't like and with so many courses you aint gonna go hungary! infact might have to knock off a couple of marks for too much food....think my trousers imght be about to split. 8/10

Welcome Catlinbond, it seems that things are really picking up now. Thanks for the mid-range bottle of red - just let me hide it so that Sneaks doesn't get her mits on it and drink it. A cactus? Brill - a plant that I don't have to worry about watering. My swanky pad has just become even swankier. Oh, and thanks for the 8/10!