Loving the food and drink, it's all fabulous, ahhh heavenly, especially after all the meat we've been eating this week - aside from the canapés, I think feta, olive and pastry is to rich a combination - too many deep fat based flavours going on. I did find some cat hairs in my meringue though, so marks off for that - and I too am not sure about the ethics of cat slaves, although the whole scenario made me pee my pants with laughter (cue multiple incontinence jokes...). So I'm going for an 8.

Sneaks got a 6 from me btw, I was really put off by the sweaty dude lying on the dining table, plus the cleaner kept hoovering around me and I couldn't hear the conversation.

hmm a 9 from me - I've never eaten vegetables before so it was a new experience. I swear one of the cats told me "*&%$ off" at the end of the night, but it could have been a drunken Wal under the table!?


Eska - that wasn't a cleaner, I moved out of that house at xmas, was it the crazy lady from next door??

Yeah, Sneaks, maybe it was the crazy lady from next door, maybe the woman with the white lightning had something to do with her too.

@eska - are you sure it wasn't Teek?

Ooh catI got so drunk at your dinner I had to hide under your carpe (oh was it the carpet or the cat..)

I give you 9.5 on 10 (.5 is taken off for making us drown in drinks..)

Right, so Catlinbond's meal... The drinks were a fantastic addition, but as I couldn't eat anything, since it was all rabbit food, I got absolutely wrecked. It's true what they say: never drink on an empty stomach! I'm going to give you an 8 out of 10! Oh, and based on what Sneaks said about me swearing, I can't remember a thing and it wasn't my fault if I did because I was very, very drunk.

Ah my plan worked, get them drunk and they'll score high :p
PLus the cats are also trained hypnotists incase the booze didn't go down well!

Oh and they like serving the food. It's a game for them, watch out for the you tube clips of their hilarious japes while I was training them. Anyway who's next?

@Sneaks - A crazy lady I may well be, but White Lightning? For shame Sneaks! How dare you tar my good name so.

Don't deny it Teek, I'd recognise that beard anywhere.

Damn! Betrayed by my luxuriant facial foliage yet again, I knew I should have worn a disguise.

Right, whose turn is it now?

Can someone who is good at maths (and trawling through posts) work out what the scores are so far? - I have lots of important PhD work to be doing to I can't do it!

I'll go next, can't see the faithful go hungry.

I'm inviting you to my delightful country cottage, set amidst snow-capped mountains and elegant pine trees. Fear not though, the roads are clear and you'll find your way with the helpful pink arrows I've painted on the road. Ahhh.

On entry there'll be a piper to welcome you to the house (set a few hundred yards back for the sake of your ear drums). My cat will most likely greet you, ignore her, she's not a waitress-cat and she's only after your dinner.

Before dinner I'll be serving amaretto sours, olives and miniature pepper tarts. Non-alcoholic beverages can be provided, albeit with a look of mild disdain.

Once we adjourn to the dining room (accompanied by the delicate musical tinkering of Belle and Sebastien) there will be a starter of Shetland smoked salmon with home-baked walnut bread (still warm) and caper creme fraiche. For vegetarians the salmon can be replaced with marinated sweet peppers. At this point cat-avoidance is crucial, she has been known to stage cunning decoys when smoked salmon is at stake.

Onto the main, Roast duck breast (served pink - no exceptions) with a bilberry sauce, creamy mash and leeks in white sauce. Vegetarians in this case can have my puy lentil moussaka.

Dessert will be rich chocolate puddings with rosewater sorbet and mint. Coffee, aged rum and petit fours will then be served for all who want, or a soothing range of herbal teas if you value your sleep. Anyone feeling too full is welcome to work it off on the trampoline in the garden, (but please, clear up your own mess if this backfires).

Boing boing boing - loving the trampoline! Your menu sounds amazing, salmon and duck, my favourites! I brought a water pistol to see off the moggy :-s That's MY salmon pussy cat!

Pink arrows painted on the road? Vandalism! It'll cost the council a fortune to clean that off. Teek, you're already off to a bad start with your meal. I only came for the alcohol really - so I'm very disappointed that you didn't describe what was on offer. I'm also very envious of the idyllic location of the abode. Teek, it's going from bad to even worse for you. At least there's no naked men here - and I do like Belle and Sebastian too (very bohemian). I'm beginning to think this meal might be okay after all. So, what's for lunch...

Salmon - but is it sustainably farmed? Duck? That's like eating dog - and they're very greasy to eat as well! And what hell is all this other fancy stuff that I can't even pronounce? What social class division do you think I'm from? 1? This is such an elitist and socially divisive menu, I can't possibly eat it or condone it! Well, I'll just have the chocolate pudding to keep you happy.

Hmm, having only had sickly sweet chocolate pudding and gallons of sparkling wine and feeling queasy, I think it'll be a good idea to go on your trampoline. Sneaks, gerroff, it's my turn. Bllleerrrrrggghhhhhh! Darn, wasn't expecting that! Well Teek, given the disappointing nature of your meal, you can clean it up! I'm giving you....3 out of 10! Argue with me over the generous score and I'll knock a point off. You have been warned.