Argue I shall Wally, if not for points then solely so I can upbraid you for being such a shocking dinner guest! Leaving the food, criticising my helpful signs, and then vomiting on the trampoline - what kind of philistine are you? And I thought you were such a nice boy.

The road signs are on a private road, so no harm to the council. The salmon is of course sustainable (and supports the local economy), and the ducks are free range and delicious. And if you hadn't been mine-sweeping mine and sneak's wine glasses you wouldn't feel so sick! We practically had to glue them to our hands to get so much a sniff of that nice sauvignon.

Dinner was lovely (though I am struggling to imagine what rosewater sorbet tastes like......did I say imagine I mean remember!)
Really enjoyed the trampoline up until Wal spewed on it. So glad I'd popped off to the loo at that point or might have been sick too. Will have to knock a point off for not suggesting bouncing BEFORE dinner!

Anyway the cat did try to con my stater out of me, gave her a bit of a shock when she realised it was roasted peppers and not salmon!

Overall 8/10 me thinks

9 out of 10 I think - I liked your turkish delight ice cream, but not so keen on chocolate desserts.

HHHmmmmm fabulous menu, plus I'm loving the Scottish theme and the country cottage. I had a wander up stairs and found Teek's beard collection had been comandered as a cat nap basket by her brood of feline friends, quite a skanky mess... However, this has been a lovely evening, Belle and Sebastian are a favourite of mine too and I avoided the trampoline, so no upset tum for me. It would have been a 9/10, but Wally puked on my swanky new evening jacket, so it's a 7/10 from me.

Despite Wally's attempts to lower the tone (beyond gutter, he went straight to sewer level it seems) I feel the evening went fairly well. Sorry about your jacket Eska, hopefully the producers will pay for a spot of dry cleaning. I'm slightly embarassed that my beard collection was spotted, perhaps one to confess in the "guilty pleasures" thread that.

Is there anyone left to serve? It's at least two hours since lunch and I'm hungry!

I@m not sure I'll ever get a PhD - far too much procrastinting!
Well I've been through this thread with a fine toothcomb and added up the scores. Seeing as there were slightly different number of people judging each meal I've worked out an average score, then multiplied it by 4 so that it is comparable with the actual TV show. I'm also sad enough to put this all into an excel spreadsheet and could do all sorts of graphs or stats on the data if I get bored enough!

But enough of that the current scores are as follows:

Eska 31.2
Wal 32
PhDBug 28
Sneaks 25
catBond 34
Teek 27

PhDbug is the nicest marker with a mean score given of 9.625. Wal is the harshest marker with a mean score given of 6.4.

I'm LAST!??? :-s what if I do a last minute cringe worthy kareoke display in true CDWM spirit? any more points on offer?

Sorry for my harsh ways Teek, but I am a perfectionist and expect the very highest standards. I also take my temper out on everyone when my work isn't going well - as happened last night when I was judging the quality of your meal. Teek, you're a victim of circumstance. I'm pleased that I came second, but feel that I should have come first.

Eska, this was a really good idea as a competition! We need a new one on a new thread now. We've had story writing, star collecting and celebrity PhD student come dine with me. What can we do next?

I disagree: i peoople didn't turn up it clearly indicates that they didn't like the menu. I got the most points, so I win!

Sneaks, I've also collated the data and subjected it to complex general linear modelling. Anyway, the computer says you came last because you're meal was the worst, you frequently abused other diners and you offended male guest by making them eat of a naked man. I'm mentally scarred by the experience and will now have to live with it forever. If anything, I should be suing you for compensation.

OOOOwwwwwwww alright, Cat did put a lot into that, but in my mind, I know I won...

Well done catlin, and you were such a charming guest too!

Wally's tactics are now clear, he was marking everyone down in a bid for victory - too bad Catlin's veggie delight snatched it from his slavering jaws!

Next thread? Hmmm. We could continue the tacky tv theme and all audition for pop idol (how will you dress, what god awful song will you sing, which crying family members will accompany you?). I wonder if anyone on here has actually been on any of these shows, a fellow phd at my institute recently divulged that he'd been on two dating shows, the story kept us entertained for an entire 40 mile drive and still raises my eyebrows now.